Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 89564 times)

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*inviteseller

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #540 on: July 24, 2013, 08:03:39 PM »
Dear Schroder,
     Even though you are a dog, I will help you out and come take away all the plastic bags.  I love to chew on them, slide across the floor on them, and..this is the funnest part, get one stuck around myself at 3 in the morning and go racing through the house yowling at the top of my lungs to see my feeder jump out of bed all disoriented.  Good times, good times.

Your feline friend,
Mr. B

Julian

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #541 on: August 01, 2013, 11:04:52 PM »
Dear Molly

I wondered what you were doing last night out in the yard, barking your fluffy little head off.  I went out to see what you were up to, when that horrible growling, hissing noise started.  It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I'm not easily spooked.

After finding the burrow (!!) last night and talking to a nice lady at one of the local wildlife sanctuaries this morning, it appears we may have a devil living in that burrow. 

Now, there aren't many devils left in the wild, and they're silly little critters that don't know how to defend themselves from dogs (or cats).  He won't hurt you.  If you harass him he'll probably move away, and we both know there are some big scary dogs on the other side of the fence that may well hurt him, as opposed to merely yapping at him.

So please, please please, leave him alone.  I'd love to have a safe little devil living under the wood pile.

Luv
Mum (yeah, the one running around the yard last night in jimjams, freezing cold, with the portable spotlight, getting the bejibbers scared out of her)

Winterlight

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #542 on: August 02, 2013, 10:15:19 AM »
Dear Riley,

You are a sweet girl and I love dogsitting you. However, when I take you for potty walks, please refrain from trying to eat the grass, roll in whatever that was, and attempting to chase the deer and rabbits. They're faster than you, and you're on a leash. Also, you're a Cavelier King Charles spaniel. The deer will win this one.

Love,

The person who lets you sleep under the covers
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #543 on: August 02, 2013, 12:37:28 PM »
Dear Molly

I wondered what you were doing last night out in the yard, barking your fluffy little head off.  I went out to see what you were up to, when that horrible growling, hissing noise started.  It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I'm not easily spooked.

After finding the burrow (!!) last night and talking to a nice lady at one of the local wildlife sanctuaries this morning, it appears we may have a devil living in that burrow. 

Now, there aren't many devils left in the wild, and they're silly little critters that don't know how to defend themselves from dogs (or cats).  He won't hurt you.  If you harass him he'll probably move away, and we both know there are some big scary dogs on the other side of the fence that may well hurt him, as opposed to merely yapping at him.

So please, please please, leave him alone.  I'd love to have a safe little devil living under the wood pile.

Luv
Mum (yeah, the one running around the yard last night in jimjams, freezing cold, with the portable spotlight, getting the bejibbers scared out of her)

A Tasmanian devil?  Coolness!
Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

Julian

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #544 on: August 02, 2013, 08:29:46 PM »
yes, a Tasmanian Devil.  I'm really excited about it, the poor little things are very much endangered now because of the facial tumour disease.  The dogs are usually in before dark, but while housemate's been away I've been letting them out a little later than normal.  Now I know we may have a devil, they're coming in early again.

I might have to do a late-night stakeout to see if I can get a pic of our mysterious little guest.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #545 on: August 03, 2013, 02:55:10 AM »
Dear Jasper,

Thank you for being so patient with our house guest. You seem to notice that he is a baby and do not protest when he leaps at your face in his best imitation of a hunter. You do however tend to look at him as though he has gone insane. Don't worry, the humans think he is insane too.

Love,

Mommy

greencat

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #546 on: August 03, 2013, 03:05:49 AM »
Dear Rocky,

Good dog, Rocky.  Good dog.  You have become a most discerning barker.  You don't bark at the neighbors/passing people very often any more (I think you're saying "Hi" to dogs being walked past the house when you do!)  It was very good of you to give little woofs when the mama cat first moved the kittens into the house, and again when she put them in the backyard after her initial jailbreak.  It was very excellent of you to bark when you observed that the one cat who had been out gallivanting around the neighborhood when I decided it was time to seal the house to keep the A/C in had returned and was waiting in the back yard for me to let him in. 

I also appreciate that you are completely kitten-safe (usually, you're actually afraid of the little puffballs) and even the mama cat has decided that you're an alright kind of dog. 

Love, your human

P.S. Please stop eating the cat food so you'll stop breaking out in dandruff!


*inviteseller

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #547 on: August 03, 2013, 11:04:31 AM »
Dear Brook,
    I know it is embarrassing for a big yellow lug like you to have kitties snuggled up to you all.the.time, but the majority of the pointy ears like you, a lot!  You are a sweet girl to allow them to groom you and sleep with you, but he payback for that is not getting to eat their bowls of food..please stop that as it makes you gassy and very unpleasant to be around. 

Love,
You ear skritcher

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #548 on: August 03, 2013, 11:22:10 AM »
Dear Brook,
    I know it is embarrassing for a big yellow lug like you to have kitties snuggled up to you all.the.time, but the majority of the pointy ears like you, a lot!  You are a sweet girl to allow them to groom you and sleep with you, but he payback for that is not getting to eat their bowls of food..please stop that as it makes you gassy and very unpleasant to be around. 

Love,
You ear skritcher

Dear Brook,

Does your mommy not want you to eat the cat food too? I like to sneak in the kitchen for a snack, but my mommy always catches me! If I eat fast enough though, I can have half of it gone before she catches me. This is what I suggest you do too,

Your partner in kitty food munches,

Jasper

Valentines Mommy

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #549 on: August 03, 2013, 11:51:49 AM »
Dear Dart,

For Heaven's sake, please use the bell like the rest of the pack! I'd rather wake up to let you out at 2 am than deal with more of your "presents". And peeing in my bed was totally uncalled for! Thank goodness I had plenty of Doghouse Rock, washing soda and a great dry cleaner to deal with the mess and stench. You're very luck I keep a leak proof mattress cover on the bed.

You are very cute and very sweet but enough all ready. You know how to use the bell.

Love,
The bringer of food, chief scritcher and pack leader

greencat

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #550 on: August 04, 2013, 12:27:22 AM »
Dear Brook,
    I know it is embarrassing for a big yellow lug like you to have kitties snuggled up to you all.the.time, but the majority of the pointy ears like you, a lot!  You are a sweet girl to allow them to groom you and sleep with you, but he payback for that is not getting to eat their bowls of food..please stop that as it makes you gassy and very unpleasant to be around. 

Love,
You ear skritcher

Dear Brook,

Does your mommy not want you to eat the cat food too? I like to sneak in the kitchen for a snack, but my mommy always catches me! If I eat fast enough though, I can have half of it gone before she catches me. This is what I suggest you do too,

Your partner in kitty food munches,

Jasper

Dear Jasper and Brook,

My mommy has moved the cat food onto the open stairs, where kitties can get through the openings between the treads and even go through the bars of the railing, and blocked the base of the stairs with a baby gate.  She says that first, eating the cat food is why my dandruff is extra-bad right now, and second, that between me and the eight cats in the house, she has now nearly emptied a 15-pound bag of cat food in one week.

Love,

Rocky

Fliss

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #551 on: August 04, 2013, 03:40:29 AM »

Dear Rocky,

When it comes to food, it's every furball for themselves! We suggest starting to practice your jumping skills, like we did. When we really want something, we can jump quite high gates and fences. We started small, leaping and springing up and off the lounge and beds and in and out of the bath.

We can send you a how-to guide if you want.

Your brothers in the fur down under,

Sam and Max.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

*inviteseller

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #552 on: August 05, 2013, 12:07:38 AM »
Dear Rocky,

     My human had the absolute audacity to move the food upstairs because she knows I won't walk up there (the B-A-T-H is up there).  And the litter boxes are downstairs and I won't go down backless steps..so I have nothing but dog food to eat.  I am currently pouting in my bed, thinking of how I can get kitty crunchies..either one will work for me, although for some reason my human screams LOUDLY when I go for the 'boxed' kitty crunchies.

Brook

greencat

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #553 on: August 05, 2013, 04:57:57 AM »
Dearest fellow canines,

My human bought covered litter pans with very small openings (I can't get my mouth both in and open!) to keep me out of the boxed crunchies, and due to my hip dysplasia, I don't jump over things too much unless I've got a large landing area on the other side, so I think the kitty food is safe from me on the stairs until I figure out how to knock the baby gate over (or the kitten-minions do it for me!)

Love,
Rocky

*inviteseller

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #554 on: August 06, 2013, 10:19:47 PM »
Dear Rocky,

     Mom bought covered litter boxes..one of the stoopid cats decided he didn't like it and peed on the floor outside of it so it was back to the big pans, but she moved them all downstairs.  I hate when my buffet gets put out of my reach!

Brook