Dear Fuzzy One,
1. That is a baby gate, not the Gates of Mordor. It is not going to eat you. Yes, it clatters loudly when it falls over but it's a GATE. It's not going to eat you.
2. Yes, I know you hate other dogs. Yes, I know the other fuzzball that lives next door is the equivalent of an unholy combination of Nermal and Odie with no self-preservation instincts whatsoever. He's what we call a PUPPY, dear. He's just trying to play with you. No need to snarl and try to bite him.
3. Will you stop trying to get to chocolate?! It's a good thing Dad caught you before you made more than a nibble on the box of See's mixed nut assortment. Memo: Chocolate is bad for you! Then again, why should I be surprised, since you once tore apart a bag of mistletoe?
Your irritated big sibling
Note to readers: she didn't actually eat any chocolates, just tore the wrapper and dented the box slightly; it really was a good thing my father caught her just in time!