Author Topic: Dear Dog:  (Read 83637 times)

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Tashigi

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #660 on: December 30, 2013, 08:26:16 PM »
Dear Fuzzy One,

1. That is a baby gate, not the Gates of Mordor. It is not going to eat you. Yes, it clatters loudly when it falls over but it's a GATE. It's not going to eat you.

2. Yes, I know you hate other dogs. Yes, I know the other fuzzball that lives next door is the equivalent of an unholy combination of Nermal and Odie with no self-preservation instincts whatsoever. He's what we call a PUPPY, dear. He's just trying to play with you. No need to snarl and try to bite him.

3. Will you stop trying to get to chocolate?! It's a good thing Dad caught you before you made more than a nibble on the box of See's mixed nut assortment. Memo: Chocolate is bad for you! Then again, why should I be surprised, since you once tore apart a bag of mistletoe?

Your irritated big sibling

Note to readers: she didn't actually eat any chocolates, just tore the wrapper and dented the box slightly; it really was a good thing my father caught her just in time!

andi

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #661 on: December 30, 2013, 08:30:26 PM »
Yeah - a $400 vet bill for a pumped stomached (my Yorkie ate the whole bag of Hershey's kisses) is not fun

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #662 on: December 30, 2013, 08:38:16 PM »
Dear Baxter,

You are a lush.  Red wine and Jack Daniels aren't cheap.  Please refrain from drinking them in the future.

Love,
Mommy.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Tashigi

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #663 on: December 30, 2013, 09:44:37 PM »
Yeah - a $400 vet bill for a pumped stomached (my Yorkie ate the whole bag of Hershey's kisses) is not fun

Indeed. The fuzzy one is a hefty though still small Pomeranian.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #664 on: December 30, 2013, 09:55:41 PM »
Dear Baxter,

You are a lush.  Red wine and Jack Daniels aren't cheap.  Please refrain from drinking them in the future.

Love,
Mommy.

This needs to go in the Things you should not laugh at thread... but is poor Baxter okay?

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #665 on: December 30, 2013, 10:02:21 PM »
Dear Baxter,

You are a lush.  Red wine and Jack Daniels aren't cheap.  Please refrain from drinking them in the future.

Love,
Mommy.

This needs to go in the Things you should not laugh at thread... but is poor Baxter okay?

Baxter is a 148 pound mastiff.  He can handle his liquor.   And yes, I shouldn't laugh, but it was hysterical.   He doesn't go after any other kind of alcohol, but red wine and whiskey are a weakness of his. He goes to great lengths to steal it. When he does manage I try to get it away from him ASAP and monitor him closely until I'm sure he's okay.  I swear one of these days I'm going to have to explain to a vet why I'm bringing in a drunk dog.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

siamesecat2965

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #666 on: December 30, 2013, 10:55:05 PM »
Dear Baxter,

You are a lush.  Red wine and Jack Daniels aren't cheap.  Please refrain from drinking them in the future.

Love,
Mommy.

This needs to go in the Things you should not laugh at thread... but is poor Baxter okay?

Baxter is a 148 pound mastiff.  He can handle his liquor.   And yes, I shouldn't laugh, but it was hysterical.   He doesn't go after any other kind of alcohol, but red wine and whiskey are a weakness of his. He goes to great lengths to steal it. When he does manage I try to get it away from him ASAP and monitor him closely until I'm sure he's okay.  I swear one of these days I'm going to have to explain to a vet why I'm bringing in a drunk dog.

That is an awesome name for a mastiff!

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #667 on: December 30, 2013, 11:06:42 PM »
Dear Baxter,

You are a lush.  Red wine and Jack Daniels aren't cheap.  Please refrain from drinking them in the future.

Love,
Mommy.

This needs to go in the Things you should not laugh at thread... but is poor Baxter okay?

Baxter is a 148 pound mastiff.  He can handle his liquor.   And yes, I shouldn't laugh, but it was hysterical.   He doesn't go after any other kind of alcohol, but red wine and whiskey are a weakness of his. He goes to great lengths to steal it. When he does manage I try to get it away from him ASAP and monitor him closely until I'm sure he's okay.  I swear one of these days I'm going to have to explain to a vet why I'm bringing in a drunk dog.

That is an awesome name for a mastiff!

Thanks!  While Baxter is his "real" name, I'm pretty much the only one that calls him that.  The boys call him Bubba or Bubbles.  I have strange kids.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

BarensMom

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #668 on: December 31, 2013, 12:36:31 AM »
Dear Fuzzy One,

1. That is a baby gate, not the Gates of Mordor. It is not going to eat you. Yes, it clatters loudly when it falls over but it's a GATE. It's not going to eat you.

2. Yes, I know you hate other dogs. Yes, I know the other fuzzball that lives next door is the equivalent of an unholy combination of Nermal and Odie with no self-preservation instincts whatsoever. He's what we call a PUPPY, dear. He's just trying to play with you. No need to snarl and try to bite him.

3. Will you stop trying to get to chocolate?! It's a good thing Dad caught you before you made more than a nibble on the box of See's mixed nut assortment. Memo: Chocolate is bad for you! Then again, why should I be surprised, since you once tore apart a bag of mistletoe?

Your irritated big sibling

Note to readers: she didn't actually eat any chocolates, just tore the wrapper and dented the box slightly; it really was a good thing my father caught her just in time!

See's Nuts and Chews!  You can't blame your fuzzy one for trying - they're too good to not make the effort. 

When I was a teenager, my poodle ate an entire box of See's Assorted.  She didn't suffer anything more than a need to go outside rather frequently for a few days afterwards.  That was before it was known that chocolate is so toxic to dogs.

Winterlight

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #669 on: December 31, 2013, 10:06:27 AM »
Yeah - a $400 vet bill for a pumped stomached (my Yorkie ate the whole bag of Hershey's kisses) is not fun

Two shelties + two pounds of bakers chocolate= one terrified owner. One barely survived it- the other one yawned and wanted to know where her dinner was. We didn't call her the goat for nothing!
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #670 on: December 31, 2013, 10:09:19 AM »
When I was a kid, we had a suet bird feeder, and a Boston terrier who thought it was Christmas when the suet fell out.

12-pound dog who ate 5 pounds of suet. It was NOT pretty.
Current fosters: Boojum (F, adult);  Rooney, Rascal, Rocket (M)

mmswm

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #671 on: December 31, 2013, 11:34:30 AM »
When I was a kid, we had a suet bird feeder, and a Boston terrier who thought it was Christmas when the suet fell out.

12-pound dog who ate 5 pounds of suet. It was NOT pretty.

When my sister was in town for her wedding years ago, she brought along her little chihuahua.  At some point in the craziness of the wedding preparations (which were even more crazy than usual since the church and reception hall were condemned 2 days before the wedding), somebody failed to put all the groceries away, and a tube of refrigerator biscuits somehow wound up on the floor.  Well, those biscuits expanded and popped the container opened and Killer thought Christmas had come early.  3 pound dog and an entire tube of raw biscuit dough.  It was not pretty.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Mental Magpie

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #672 on: December 31, 2013, 04:32:57 PM »
Dear Colossus,

You are such a good boy.  You let the 6 year old hang all over you.  At one point, she draped her entire body over your shoulders, feet off the ground, and your only response was to try to lick her face.  When that didn't work, you just stood there and looked at me, bewildered that you couldn't reach that sweet little face to slobber it with kisses.  So patient; you two will be fast friends.

Love,

Mama
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #673 on: December 31, 2013, 08:00:26 PM »
Dear Colossus,

You are such a good boy.  You let the 6 year old hang all over you.  At one point, she draped her entire body over your shoulders, feet off the ground, and your only response was to try to lick her face.  When that didn't work, you just stood there and looked at me, bewildered that you couldn't reach that sweet little face to slobber it with kisses.  So patient; you two will be fast friends.

Love,

Mama

Can we have some colossus pics please?

andi

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Re: Dear Dog:
« Reply #674 on: December 31, 2013, 08:03:37 PM »
Yeah - a $400 vet bill for a pumped stomached (my Yorkie ate the whole bag of Hershey's kisses) is not fun

Two shelties + two pounds of bakers chocolate= one terrified owner. One barely survived it- the other one yawned and wanted to know where her dinner was. We didn't call her the goat for nothing!

I'm just thankful hubby got home, found him and dealt with it and not me. Scared him