A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

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Dear kitties, again, all of you,

It was nice outside last night.  A great night to open my window.  I couldn't hardly sleep because you idiots kept going in and out the window and bouncing on me.  Princess, you are a causer of massive pain, as you kept trying to stretch out using my injured ankle as an anchor, and you kept trying to sleep on my head.  I could feel my eyes start swelling shut last night due to your presence on my pillow - having cat hair introduced directly to my eyes will do that.


--- Quote from: greencat on June 11, 2013, 02:08:02 AM ---Dear kitties, all of you, including the stray kitties that I don't own:

I am not sure I like this parade following me to the mailbox and the neighbor's house.  I look like a very strange Mama Duck or Pied Piper.


Your food-enabler.

--- End quote ---

If it makes you feel any better, the strays at the convenience store I frequent appear out of nowhere the second I pull into the parking lot.  I feel guilty and give them ear scritchies every time I go in and out, but I swear they know the sound of my engine and come running when they hear it.  The owner of the store does the TNR thing with the ferals and strays in the area, and this area is a popular "dumping ground" for unwanted pets, so there are quite a lot of the kitties.

Dear Kitten,

I know you really want to explore the world.  I know you thought you had us fooled by getting out of the 6'x10'x6' dog pen Mommy got for you so you could still go outside but not roam the neighborhood.  However, Mommy and Daddy are not as stupid as you think and you were caught scaling the inside corner of the cage like a tree.  Do not look so forlorn.  It's just a tarp over the top so you can not escape.  Daddy will be putting chicken wire over the top tonight so you can once again see the sky.  If only you would have let me leash train you...then you really could go explore the world.

The giver of chicken

Dear newly brought-in kitten overlord:

So far, you have sent two text messages, several FaceBook IMs, made a phone call, posted to FaceBook, and posted your own introductory post here.  I mean, I walked out of the room in the middle of composing it, and came back in to find that a line of keysmash got added and it was posted.  Perhaps you're actually some kind of alien and are trying to communicate?  You were, might I add, brought in only after your mama cat came in my window and did her best "Timmy fell in the well!" impression to alert me that you were stuck in the roof.


Your new human slave

I personally ascribe to the theory that kittens are furry little chaos elementals. Cute little chaos elementals, but chaos elementals none the less.


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