Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 204988 times)

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GreenHall

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1095 on: July 21, 2013, 05:21:00 PM »
Dear Renfield,
You are very good at looking terribly abused.  The problem is that putting flea stuff on your neck isn't abuse.  We are both upset by the time I mange to catch you long enough to squeeze the tiny little tube of stuff on your neck.  Afterwards, your only injury is to your dignity. 
We would both be more dignified if you we're a little less stubborn about this.

Love,
I don't really enjoy fleas in my bed, so we ARE going to keep doing this.

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1096 on: July 21, 2013, 06:59:16 PM »

Dear Renfield,

Ugh! Hitchikers! Don't they just make you scratch and nibble your tail like mad, mate?!

But be happy your Human only has to use 'The Tube' to make you bug-free. We got what felt like hundreds of the little itchies in a few hours (or it seemed like), and our Humans had to wash all their bedding, and our beds and blankets in that smelly eucalyptus stuff! Didn't smell like our nice, warm, cozy den at all.

THEN they took us to our favourite pet store and gave us a (shudder) b-a-t-h. With more smelly euca-whatever stuff. All the other dogs laughed at us! I saw a poodle sniggering as we went past. AND then they put The Tube stuff on us anyway!

Be glad it's just The Tube for you, mate.

Mates in itchies.....
The Demon Twins.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1097 on: July 22, 2013, 10:25:36 AM »
It's so embarrassing when the poodles snicker.

twiggy

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1098 on: July 22, 2013, 11:30:17 AM »
Dear Ninja

I know you're just trying to live up to your name, but please stop riding the puppies. They don't see you coming when you leap down from the couch, all they know is there's suddenly something sharp on their back. Don't be so surprised when the boys roll over and pin you down. You started this game; if you don't want them to gnaw on your ear, don't jump on them. Also, quit playing with Penny. She's the littlest and when you knock her over, she cries. Stop hiding under the coffee table, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting puppies. I got you that cat tree to play on/rest in/scratch on. I didn't get it to facilitate your sneak attacks.

On another note, I know that you are superior to the dogs in every way, and it stands to reason that you should get first crack at any water or treats given. But do you really have to dash in from the other room to push the puppies out of the way and splash your paw in the water every time they try to get a drink?

Love,

The Referee
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1099 on: July 22, 2013, 03:10:25 PM »
Dear Rika the Angry Fluff,

Why in the seven bloody hells do YOU not eat canned food or treats?! I would be very happy if you would even deign to push it away with a paw and walk off! Or even sniff it! But no, you avoid it like it threatened to give you a bath! You picky little ball of angry fluff!
Our vet told us that some cats become almost addicted to crunchy kibbles and will turn their noses up at mushy canned food.  We are lucky that Buddy Boy (aka Mr. Buddy Guy) will eat anything, including the carrots left in the dog's food bowl.  The dog, Honey Girl, will not eat carrots and will spit them out if she finds them in her food.  The dog is finicky; The cat will eat anything.

The vet also said that we have to watch the ash content of any kibbles we might feed Buddy as male cats develop kidney stones &/or urinary tract blockages.  Having only had female cats up till now, we didn't know this about male cats.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1100 on: July 22, 2013, 08:29:10 PM »
Our vet told us that some cats become almost addicted to crunchy kibbles and will turn their noses up at mushy canned food.  We are lucky that Buddy Boy (aka Mr. Buddy Guy) will eat anything, including the carrots left in the dog's food bowl.  The dog, Honey Girl, will not eat carrots and will spit them out if she finds them in her food.  The dog is finicky; The cat will eat anything.

The vet also said that we have to watch the ash content of any kibbles we might feed Buddy as male cats develop kidney stones &/or urinary tract blockages.  Having only had female cats up till now, we didn't know this about male cats.

Rika's...problematic. It took me forever to get her off low-quality grocery store kibble and onto a much better food. She was literally starving herself before I managed to get her to FINALLY start eating the good stuff.

Why? She fixates on the SHAPE. She was on Meow Mix when I got her and honestly, I'm not sure how I got her to start eating anything else, because it wasn't the same SHAPE. (Then again, she's special. Polycystic kidney disease - at a year and a half old when I got her! (she's almost four now) - and feline cutaneous asthenia, which basically means her skin can split if she even grooms herself too violently...) I'd love for her to occasionally nosh on some canned or treats to get a little more weight on her, but she isn't underweight, at least.

Branwen, on the other hand...yeah. She'll eat anything. She even threatens to eat the forty-pound standard poodle. It's hilarious.
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misha412

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1101 on: July 24, 2013, 08:40:56 AM »
My dearest Rukia,

It is not a smart idea to put your nose on the dog's plate when dog is eating from it. I know the big slobbery mutt has not growled or shown teeth when you do that, but don't push it!! You are 10 lbs. He is 90 lbs. Plus, he has big teeth that could do serious damage.

I thought you were smarter than your cat brother, but even he hasn't tried that one yet.

Love, the one that serves all animal food and cleans the litter box


GreenHall

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1102 on: July 24, 2013, 09:32:58 PM »
@%#}#% Renfield,
I know the weather has been very wet recently, and the air damp even when water is not falling from the sky.  I don't know why last night and tonight you decided to play "stair monster" but this needs to stop.  You look cute, but the flaying of the skin is decidedly less so.  I had to arm myself with the water gun to go back downstairs.  Your "I'm so abused" body language, as you hide behind furniture, is rather less guilt inducing while I am still bleeding!

Signed,
The really big cat toy, apparently

P.s. this is why you were almost introduced to the vet as dingdangity-it Cat mylastname

ETA, yeah, while cute, dingdangity is not the cat's almost name....
« Last Edit: July 24, 2013, 09:38:13 PM by GreenHall »

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1103 on: July 24, 2013, 10:01:59 PM »
Quote from: GreenHall

P.s. this is why you were almost introduced to the vet as dingdangity-it Cat mylastname


(sigh) This sounds like similar reasoning why Sam and Max are known as "The Demon Twins".

Fliss
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Lynnv

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1104 on: July 24, 2013, 10:37:18 PM »
Quote from: GreenHall

P.s. this is why you were almost introduced to the vet as dingdangity-it Cat mylastname


(sigh) This sounds like similar reasoning why Sam and Max are known as "The Demon Twins".

Fliss

And a cat my mom had when I was a kid named Booger You Little S___ Lastname.   Insert a not quite eHell approved word for S___.   ;D
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1105 on: July 25, 2013, 03:55:29 AM »
Dear Kimmie-cat,
Oh our silly owners think we don't know, but we can read minds.  Next time, if your food giver gets you out from under the bed, do what we do..grow 6 more legs and spread them all out so they can't get you in the carrier. 

Purrs and Head Butts,
Mr. B, Sophie, Lola, & Jezebel
Dear *Inviteseller,

Reverse the offending cats and put them into the carrier butt-first.  By the time they've figured out that you have tricked them, it's too late.
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Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1106 on: July 25, 2013, 04:28:14 AM »

What's interesting is how an animal make itself 5 times heavier inside 30 seconds when you try and move it. A sleepy rotty, that seemed to only weigh 10kgs, suddenly weighs every bit of his 40kgs when you try and use the lounge.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1107 on: July 25, 2013, 01:42:13 PM »

What's interesting is how an animal make itself 5 times heavier inside 30 seconds when you try and move it. A sleepy rotty, that seemed to only weigh 10kgs, suddenly weighs every bit of his 40kgs when you try and use the lounge.
Oh yes.  There must be a special axiom of physics that explains this apparent violation of the Conservation of Mass law.  The real Midnight Kitty (RIP) violated the law of gravity frequently.  Her normal weight was 8 pounds.  She could defy gravity and levitate or turn into the 800 pound kitty that sits where ever she wants.

Violating the thread's cat theme, our newly rescued dog, Honey Girl, can also make herself 5 times heavier the second she settles down on top of me.  She goes from 13 pounds of kinetic energy to 65 pounds of dead weight. ;D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1108 on: July 25, 2013, 07:35:33 PM »
Both cats and dogs can not only make themselves heavier, but they can expand to fit spaces.

Morty (cat) usually sleeps on Housemate's bed.  It is a full size queen.  She usually ends up right on the edge, with Mr Morty hogging the rest...

Both of my dogs can fill up my queen bed as well.  They're not much bigger than the cat.

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1109 on: July 25, 2013, 08:31:33 PM »

And legs! Have you noticed how those flexible legs, that seem to be able to move through 8 dimensions suddenly become as rigid as tree-stumps the moment you try and shift an animal to take up less room? A Chihuaha asleep can take up the same amount of space as a Great Dane.

Animal physics is a very neglected area of study . . . .
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.