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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 794656 times)

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Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1095 on: July 24, 2013, 09:01:59 PM »
Quote from: GreenHall

P.s. this is why you were almost introduced to the vet as dingdangity-it Cat mylastname


(sigh) This sounds like similar reasoning why Sam and Max are known as "The Demon Twins".

Fliss
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Lynnv

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1096 on: July 24, 2013, 09:37:18 PM »
Quote from: GreenHall

P.s. this is why you were almost introduced to the vet as dingdangity-it Cat mylastname


(sigh) This sounds like similar reasoning why Sam and Max are known as "The Demon Twins".

Fliss

And a cat my mom had when I was a kid named Booger You Little S___ Lastname.   Insert a not quite eHell approved word for S___.   ;D
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1097 on: July 25, 2013, 02:55:29 AM »
Dear Kimmie-cat,
Oh our silly owners think we don't know, but we can read minds.  Next time, if your food giver gets you out from under the bed, do what we do..grow 6 more legs and spread them all out so they can't get you in the carrier. 

Purrs and Head Butts,
Mr. B, Sophie, Lola, & Jezebel
Dear *Inviteseller,

Reverse the offending cats and put them into the carrier butt-first.  By the time they've figured out that you have tricked them, it's too late.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1098 on: July 25, 2013, 03:28:14 AM »

What's interesting is how an animal make itself 5 times heavier inside 30 seconds when you try and move it. A sleepy rotty, that seemed to only weigh 10kgs, suddenly weighs every bit of his 40kgs when you try and use the lounge.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1099 on: July 25, 2013, 12:42:13 PM »

What's interesting is how an animal make itself 5 times heavier inside 30 seconds when you try and move it. A sleepy rotty, that seemed to only weigh 10kgs, suddenly weighs every bit of his 40kgs when you try and use the lounge.
Oh yes.  There must be a special axiom of physics that explains this apparent violation of the Conservation of Mass law.  The real Midnight Kitty (RIP) violated the law of gravity frequently.  Her normal weight was 8 pounds.  She could defy gravity and levitate or turn into the 800 pound kitty that sits where ever she wants.

Violating the thread's cat theme, our newly rescued dog, Honey Girl, can also make herself 5 times heavier the second she settles down on top of me.  She goes from 13 pounds of kinetic energy to 65 pounds of dead weight. ;D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1100 on: July 25, 2013, 06:35:33 PM »
Both cats and dogs can not only make themselves heavier, but they can expand to fit spaces.

Morty (cat) usually sleeps on Housemate's bed.  It is a full size queen.  She usually ends up right on the edge, with Mr Morty hogging the rest...

Both of my dogs can fill up my queen bed as well.  They're not much bigger than the cat.

Out on the patio we'd sit,
And the humidity we'd breathe,
We'd watch the lightning crack over canefields
Laugh and think, this is Australia.

Ganggajang - Sounds Of Then (This Is Australia)

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1101 on: July 25, 2013, 07:31:33 PM »

And legs! Have you noticed how those flexible legs, that seem to be able to move through 8 dimensions suddenly become as rigid as tree-stumps the moment you try and shift an animal to take up less room? A Chihuaha asleep can take up the same amount of space as a Great Dane.

Animal physics is a very neglected area of study . . . .
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

twiggy

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1102 on: July 25, 2013, 10:29:34 PM »
Dear Ninja

If you don't want to be hit in the face with wet towels, stay out of the dryer. And thank you for adding another step to the laundry process. Though I applaud your efficiency in covering the clothes in kitty hair before they're even folded or hung. (or thrown on the couch to be folded/hung)

Sincerely,
The newly appointed dryer inspector
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Editeer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1103 on: July 26, 2013, 01:20:06 PM »
Dear Cylver,

Yes, I get up earlier than I used to because of my new job. Yes, sometimes I oversleep. However, that does not mean I need you to give me a wake-up reminder an entire hour before my alarm goes off. Stop bugging me at 5:30 AM.

And especially don't leave your latest catch on the floor for me to admire. If I had stepped on that dead mouse when I got out of bed, you'd be in orbit.

You're darned lucky you're so beautiful.

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1104 on: July 26, 2013, 03:54:20 PM »
Dear Kimmie-cat,
Oh our silly owners think we don't know, but we can read minds.  Next time, if your food giver gets you out from under the bed, do what we do..grow 6 more legs and spread them all out so they can't get you in the carrier. 

Purrs and Head Butts,
Mr. B, Sophie, Lola, & Jezebel
Dear *Inviteseller,

Reverse the offending cats and put them into the carrier butt-first.  By the time they've figured out that you have tricked them, it's too late.

But then the really pointy bits are facing you.

Dear Kimmie-cat

I second the advise given above.  My brother is stupid and falls for their tricks.  I just move further towards the middle and the back.  They can't get you there plus it makes them really agitated when they have to lie on their stomachs and wave their arms around to try and touch you.

Miss J

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1105 on: July 26, 2013, 05:18:59 PM »
Dear Cylver,

Yes, I get up earlier than I used to because of my new job. Yes, sometimes I oversleep. However, that does not mean I need you to give me a wake-up reminder an entire hour before my alarm goes off. Stop bugging me at 5:30 AM.

And especially don't leave your latest catch on the floor for me to admire. If I had stepped on that dead mouse when I got out of bed, you'd be in orbit.

You're darned lucky you're so beautiful.

Dear Cylver,

Do not listen to your human. The dead mouse, appropriately placed, is an excellent training tool for your human.

I have trained mine to always put her glasses on before getting out of bed by putting the dead mouse right where her feet always go. Now she no longer "accidentally" steps on me as she stumbles to the bathroom.

She has also learned to make her bed every day, due to one particularly well-placed mouse.

I have tried using the fake furry mice, but they do not have the desired effect, especially since the fake-furry-mouse-under-the-pillow incident. Since then, the human has only provided the furry mice in vile florescent colors. Seriously, does she really think I believe that mice are green and pink and yellow?

However, despite my best efforts, she shows no signs of learning how to catch her own mice. This is not good, because she continues to insist that I exert my energy to deal with the little rodents.

Wishing you the best of luck with your training program,

Fred
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


missanpan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1106 on: July 26, 2013, 10:51:12 PM »
Dear Kimmie-cat,
Oh our silly owners think we don't know, but we can read minds.  Next time, if your food giver gets you out from under the bed, do what we do..grow 6 more legs and spread them all out so they can't get you in the carrier. 

Purrs and Head Butts,
Mr. B, Sophie, Lola, & Jezebel
Dear *Inviteseller,

Reverse the offending cats and put them into the carrier butt-first.  By the time they've figured out that you have tricked them, it's too late.

But then the really pointy bits are facing you.

Dear Kimmie-cat

I second the advise given above.  My brother is stupid and falls for their tricks.  I just move further towards the middle and the back.  They can't get you there plus it makes them really agitated when they have to lie on their stomachs and wave their arms around to try and touch you.

Miss J

Dear Mr. B, Sophie, Lola, Jezebel and Miss J -

Thank you for the suggestions! I think I'll combine them - I'll move towards the center of the bed, sprout 6 legs then engage clamping devices from all 10 limbs into the carpet. The pitiful hoomin will never get me out! Mewmewmewmewmew!

With Love-
Kimmie-cat, the Queen with a PLAN



greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1107 on: July 27, 2013, 02:38:56 AM »
Dear kitties of mine,

Thank you all kindly for having signed the armistice agreement about the entering of your carriers.  I do not miss the days of sharpened octopi and am most pleased that my bribes peace offerings of liberally lacing the carriers with catnip and periodically feeding you special treat-foods in the carriers were acceptable.

Love,

She who must sometimes take you to the vet

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1108 on: July 27, 2013, 03:25:27 AM »

Err, Greencat,

You do realise that the kitties are probably doing a hurried re-arming, as we speak? They're just lulling you into a false sense of security, then when you least expect it . . . the revolution will begin!
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1109 on: July 27, 2013, 04:47:32 PM »
Dear Branwen,

You can't fool me, cat. You love being brushed. You purr your fool head off and do that squeezy eyes thing that you do when you crawl into my bed at night and conquer the majority of my sleeping spot. And guess what, I'm not going to stop brushing you, because that and your new fish oil nummies have worked a treat on your very dry skin.

So why the blinkin' heck do you have to try and walk off every time I put the brush to your fur? I'm getting very tired of chasing you down, cat. Just hold still, it doesn't even take ten minutes to brush you. Sheesh.

Dear Rika,

Related to above, why is it that every time I've just brushed you out and you look all fluffy and gorgeous, you then proceed to roll about on the floor and groom the fur under your chin, hence messing up everything I just did? Have you no class? Have you no dignity?! (Well, you live with me. So probably not. ;))

Dear both of you,

You're going to be getting two new siblings next month. DEAL.

Love,
The purveyor of gooshy and brushies.

(For the curious, here's the girls after brushies. Rika and Branwen. :))
« Last Edit: July 27, 2013, 04:55:12 PM by Liliane »
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