I hate to bring this up, but it has to be said. I know you love laps and cuddles. But when I insist you sit down on my lap, instead of stomping all over me and giving me bruises, I actually mean all the way down. Lowering your butt a millimetre and then hovering there until I get mad means that I get to say "Sit down!" about fifty times before your little rear hits the lap.
This is something that badly-trained dogs are fond of doing. Yes, I said it. You are acting like a DOG. Let's just not go any further in that direction, OK?
Your exasperated lap-keeper.