Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 199092 times)

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camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1395 on: December 24, 2013, 10:05:52 AM »
Dear Dash,

I never thought I would be saying this, but thank you for throwing up politely.

Our dear departed Tigger used to hork while reversing around the living room so as to make the most mess possible. You, on the other hand, were kind enough this morning to stay in one spot so that I could get a piece of kitchen roll under you.

Just try not to eat the tinsel in future. It clearly doesn't agree with you.

Love,
she who provides the REAL cat food

Going off topic here, and not wanting to put a damper on the holiday spirit, but tinsel and cats do not mix well. For some reason, cats seem to love to eat tinsel. Tinsel can really mess up a cat's insides and cause serious harm. If you have cats, please consider getting all the tinsel out of your house right away. Ask your vet if you aren't sure.

In fact any long, thin, string-like object can be both tempting and dangerous to cats. Thread, dental floss, anything like that. If you see something dangling out of either end of your cat, call your vet. Even just trying to pull it out can make matters worse, depending on how long the string/tinsel is.

Please excuse this public service message.


Back in the holiday spirit:

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1396 on: December 24, 2013, 10:32:58 AM »
Best beloved furry person

I know that you think you are watching your favourite programme EVER on a low level television, but actually you are watching the oven. If you intend to guard the turkey for a further four hours, I will step on your tail at intervals. I'm sorry but you are IN THE FREAKING WAY.

I promise, when I calculated how much turkey and ham and sausage-meat was required to feed seven people and one elderly cat, I did remember that your capacity matches that of the teenage boys. Now please stop putting your head inside the oven when I baste the bird, OK?

Love,
Your personal chef

MerryCat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1397 on: December 24, 2013, 10:41:49 AM »
Dear Mittens,

When I yell, "Mittens, get off the kitchen counter!" I mean, you, Mittens. 

There is nobody else in the house named Mittens.

Love,

Yr exasperated Mom

Dear Mittens,

Great job on keeping up the fine old Mittens traditions! You do our name proud. Counter scaling is one of my favorite passtimes, especially if the un-furries happen to leave fuds on there for even a moment.

Do you also eat faster when you see the un-furries coming to shoo you away?

Love,

Mitten

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1398 on: December 24, 2013, 12:13:44 PM »
Dear Mouse,

You are neutered.  You are over 10 years old.  Why in the WORLD did you spray my bathroom cabinets this morning when you have never done such a thing before?  Not cool dude.

Love,
Your exasperated mommy

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1399 on: December 24, 2013, 12:24:57 PM »
Dear Mittens,

When I yell, "Mittens, get off the kitchen counter!" I mean, you, Mittens. 

There is nobody else in the house named Mittens.

Love,

Yr exasperated Mom

Dear Mittens,

Great job on keeping up the fine old Mittens traditions! You do our name proud. Counter scaling is one of my favorite passtimes, especially if the un-furries happen to leave fuds on there for even a moment.

Do you also eat faster when you see the un-furries coming to shoo you away?

Love,

Mitten

Dear Mitten

I eat string faster when my non-furry housemate spots me, the strange thing is she insists on taking the string out of me and keeping it.  I'll never understand their ways.

Happy holidays, I hear there's good things to be had on the counter over the next few days.

Miss J

Amara

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1400 on: December 24, 2013, 02:07:43 PM »
Dear Fellow Felines of Ehell,

Alas, our hoomin (also known as the Killer of Cans) has placed the aforementioned counter goodies under these glass domes. We are sadly contemplating if there is any way to get into them, but despite Amara's best attempts to move them the domes won't budge. All we can do is surround them and stare. (They appear immune to that too. Oh, woe is us!)

Then there is the tree. Not only is it not a real one--goodness knows Athena did her repeated best to chew the branches--but there is no tinsel. What a sad, sad holiday.

Please send via overnight express any goodies that might be even slightly edible you find and can share. Merry Christmas!

Aprodite, Athena, Amara


Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1401 on: December 24, 2013, 02:16:04 PM »
Dear Mittens,

When I yell, "Mittens, get off the kitchen counter!" I mean, you, Mittens. 

There is nobody else in the house named Mittens.
Dear Sassy:

I getting really tired of yelling, 'Sass, get down!'

Knock it off!
I may have posted this before, but DH saw a cartoon where a cat introduces himself as, "Hi, my name is No! Get Down!" ;D
« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 02:21:51 PM by Midnight Kitty »
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1402 on: December 24, 2013, 02:36:22 PM »
Dear fellow cat-spirators,

You at least get decorations. My Not-Furry One has only put up one ornament, and she's hung it on the lamp where I can't reach it. She says it's because I'm a holy terror and would promptly destroy anything festive she tried to put out.

Can you believe that? I mean, I'd wait at LEAST five seconds out of respect.

Purrs and licks,
Sophie.
~I'm just standing with you, in the darkness between battles~


greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1403 on: December 24, 2013, 10:47:17 PM »
Dear Mittens,

When I yell, "Mittens, get off the kitchen counter!" I mean, you, Mittens. 

There is nobody else in the house named Mittens.
Dear Sassy:

I getting really tired of yelling, 'Sass, get down!'

Knock it off!
I may have posted this before, but DH saw a cartoon where a cat introduces himself as, "Hi, my name is No! Get Down!" ;D

My cats are all collectively named "No!  Don't eat that!"

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1404 on: December 25, 2013, 04:08:16 AM »
Dear Stephen,

I know it has been an interesting christmas, with those whistling and crashing noises and the green leafy things falling in the garden, but I think you are having a good year:

- You got fed at 3 am just so we could get some sleep.
- you woke the family up again at five for snuggles
- you chased your sister up the tree
- you got into your catnip present early and woke us up again at seven.

But stealing the butter off the plate of ingredients I was getting ready to make mince pies with was the topper. I didn't know you had got into the room or that you could reach that high until my husband choked and pointed at the cat-like thing with its head over the edge of the table sinking fangs into its yellow prey, which was then dragged off to an awful fate. It's not even ten o'clock, Mr. butter-whiskers

So my apologies for spoiling your day, but we've moved the turkey. Thank heavens it was still wrapped.

Regards,
Your rather annoyed staff.
P.S. You are thirteen years old. Humans grow out of this by five.

JoW

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1405 on: December 25, 2013, 06:42:15 AM »
Dear Mouse,

You are neutered.  You are over 10 years old.  Why in the WORLD did you spray my bathroom cabinets this morning when you have never done such a thing before?  Not cool dude.

Love,
Your exasperated mommy

Dear Mommy
Maybe I sprayed because my parts are irritated.  Boy kitties are prone to kidney stones.  All cats can get UTIs.  If I continue to go in unapproved locations you probably need to take me to the vet. 

Mouse

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1406 on: December 25, 2013, 08:25:39 AM »
Dear Stephen,

I know it has been an interesting christmas, with those whistling and crashing noises and the green leafy things falling in the garden, but I think you are having a good year:

- You got fed at 3 am just so we could get some sleep.
- you woke the family up again at five for snuggles
- you chased your sister up the tree
- you got into your catnip present early and woke us up again at seven.

But stealing the butter off the plate of ingredients I was getting ready to make mince pies with was the topper. I didn't know you had got into the room or that you could reach that high until my husband choked and pointed at the cat-like thing with its head over the edge of the table sinking fangs into its yellow prey, which was then dragged off to an awful fate. It's not even ten o'clock, Mr. butter-whiskers

So my apologies for spoiling your day, but we've moved the turkey. Thank heavens it was still wrapped.

Regards,
Your rather annoyed staff.
P.S. You are thirteen years old. Humans grow out of this by five.

Dear Atiral,

Our hoomin is laughing too hard at this post to pet us. 

Love,

The small pile of black cats greencat is buried under this morning.

Figgie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1407 on: December 26, 2013, 08:26:42 PM »
Dear Missy,

Yes, we have strings of bells on the Christmas tree as sort of an "early cat warning device."  When we hear the bells, we grab the squirt bottle and whoever is trying to climb the tree gets squirted and runs off.

You sitting underneath the tree and jiggling the bells to make them ring so that you can watch us grab the squirt bottle and hurry into the living room is NOT funny!!

Love,

                 The Cat Staff

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1408 on: December 26, 2013, 09:25:41 PM »
Dear Mouse,

You are neutered.  You are over 10 years old.  Why in the WORLD did you spray my bathroom cabinets this morning when you have never done such a thing before?  Not cool dude.

Love,
Your exasperated mommy

Dear Mommy
Maybe I sprayed because my parts are irritated.  Boy kitties are prone to kidney stones.  All cats can get UTIs.  If I continue to go in unapproved locations you probably need to take me to the vet. 

Mouse

Dear Mouse,

I will be watching you.  It just aroused my suspicion when you did this right after jumping on me and kneading me like usual and giving me a weird look.   Can you tell that I am pregnant this soon?  You're just going to have to get used to it.  Do it again and you're going to the vet (and we all know the terrible ordeal that is for you since you pee on yourself every time we go).

Love,
Your suspicious mommy

OSUJillyBean

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1409 on: December 27, 2013, 04:39:13 PM »
Dear Lucy,

Why are the toys, catnip, and fuzzy blankies I buy for you completely ignored but the random dum-dum sucker completely fascinates you at 3am when you bat it back and forth across the floor for an hour? 

Love,
Your very tired Mommy