Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 186870 times)

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blue2000

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1425 on: January 02, 2014, 10:24:30 PM »
Dear Pris,

I was so worried years ago when I got you and you wouldn't eat. I had to force-feed you! I have been semi-worried all these years when you take two bites of your food and leave. I don't know how you even survive on two bites, let alone stay fat as butter.

Now suddenly in your old age you are emulating your brother and sticking your face in my cereal bowl!? What the heck!?! I don't need two of you stealing my food!

Love, your amused Mama.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

MerryCat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1426 on: January 02, 2014, 11:48:17 PM »
Dearest, darling Gracie-
   I realize this is your first winter on earth. I also realize that you have a fur coat which helps regulate your temperature, and that you can also change positions in your sleep to regulate your temp. My temperature regulation does not work that well - sometimes I need to stick a foot out from under the blankets to cool down a little. Sniffing and inspecting that foot is fine. Deciding that it is an interloper which needs to be attacked is NOT.

Yours truly,
Mom

Dear Gracie,

Don't be fooled. Those aren't feet, those are blanket mice  that need to be trounced thoroughly at every opportunity. You may also see them moving under the blanket. Be sure to pounce on them hard then bite and bunny kick them into submission. Remember, the best time to do this is at 3 in the morning, when the un-furry ones sleeping.

Happy hunting!

Mitten

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1427 on: January 02, 2014, 11:51:02 PM »
Mitten - Is your brother's name Buddy? 'Cuz you 2 have a lot in common.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

twiggy

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1428 on: January 03, 2014, 12:13:57 AM »
Dear Ninja,

I love you so much, but I have no idea how one tiny kitty can take up a King sized bed. Even though Daddy slept in the guest room, I'm not going to. Dang it Ninja, that's my bed! I'm willing to share, but I am determined to sleep in my own bed. Glaring at me doesn't hurt my feelings, and if you keep pouncing on my toes, I'll put you out of the room.

Also, I know you're still upset with me for keeping you inside while your war wound healed, but biting the hand that feeds you is never a good idea. Especially since you're the one coming up to me and butting your head under my hand until I pet and scratch you. Then you turn around and nip at my fingers? Not cool Ninja, not cool.

Cordially,
The hand that feeds you
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1429 on: January 03, 2014, 02:55:31 AM »
Dear horde of small black cats,

Did you guys multiply by budding?  I seem to have developed an extra black cat, slightly smaller than the rest...where did it come from?  Why does it expect me to feed it?  Where did it get equipped with a police siren instead of the standard meow?

Love,

The befuddled human that feeds you

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1430 on: January 03, 2014, 05:50:11 AM »
Dear Cats

I don't know which one of you did it but the ball was a toy. It did not need to be ripped apart and spread across the floor. You've never done this before please don't make a habit of it.

Love
Snooks who was totally confused by the massacre she found this morning as it wasn't immediately obvious from the scene what you'd killed.

OSUJillyBean

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1431 on: January 03, 2014, 11:10:20 AM »
Dear Beankitty,

The shower is not a sea monster that Mommy does battle with.  It is just a shower.  It is sweet of you to sit outside and wail at the top of your lungs out of concern but I promise I am fine.  Also - your tongue is not an acceptable substitute for a proper towel. 

Love,
Your waterproof Mommy

MerryCat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1432 on: January 03, 2014, 12:50:13 PM »
Mitten - Is your brother's name Buddy? 'Cuz you 2 have a lot in common.

Is Buddy a ball of sweetness and innocence wrapped a super dense core of mischief and destruction? If so, we may well be related.

I was abandoned as a kitten so I don't know my family. But I like to think that I come from a numerous and wide spread clan of blanket mouse hunters, countertop patrollers, human food inspectors, garbage can tippers, couch cushion excavators and tummy trap craftsmen (craftscats?), all spreading our special brand of...  helpfulness around the world.

Love,

Mittenquitit
(aka Mittenno!, MittenSTOP!, and DestructoMitten)

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1433 on: January 03, 2014, 01:14:29 PM »
Is Buddy a ball of sweetness and innocence wrapped a super dense core of mischief and destruction? If so, we may well be related.

I was abandoned as a kitten so I don't know my family. But I like to think that I come from a numerous and wide spread clan of blanket mouse hunters, countertop patrollers, human food inspectors, garbage can tippers, couch cushion excavators and tummy trap craftsmen (craftscats?), all spreading our special brand of...  helpfulness around the world.

Love,

Mittenquitit
(aka Mittenno!, MittenSTOP!, and DestructoMitten)
We are definitely related!  I was born feral, but I enjoy civilized condo living.  I almost caught a bird on the lanai yesterday.  Missed it by this.much.

My humans have not provided me with couch cushions and I haven't been able to tip the garbage can over - yet!  I'm still growing; I'll get it eventually.  Otherwise, I am very helpful in all the ways you describe.  I took over the position of Inspector General in charge of General Inspections.

My humans rechristened me Mr. Buddy Guy when they brought me home from the shelter.  Since then, I have acquired a couple aka's: "Watch it, Buster!" and "NO! Get DOWN!"
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1434 on: January 03, 2014, 02:32:05 PM »
Has anyone ever watched My Cat From Hell? It's my new guilty pleasure although I sometimes find it quite upsetting to see how wrongly people treat their animals.

Miss Understood

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1435 on: January 03, 2014, 02:48:59 PM »
Has anyone ever watched My Cat From Hell? It's my new guilty pleasure although I sometimes find it quite upsetting to see how wrongly people treat their animals.

That show is sometimes hard to watch because the cats start out so unhappy, but I do love Jackson Galaxy and how gentle and compassionate he is with all the cats no matter how aggressive or unfriendly they are.  The people that drive me crazy are the ones who consider their cat to be "from hell" just because it's a young active cat who wants to play and the people haven't provided any toys or things to climb, not to mention any positive attention.

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1436 on: January 03, 2014, 04:12:05 PM »
Has anyone ever watched My Cat From Hell? It's my new guilty pleasure although I sometimes find it quite upsetting to see how wrongly people treat their animals.

That show is sometimes hard to watch because the cats start out so unhappy, but I do love Jackson Galaxy and how gentle and compassionate he is with all the cats no matter how aggressive or unfriendly they are.  The people that drive me crazy are the ones who consider their cat to be "from hell" just because it's a young active cat who wants to play and the people haven't provided any toys or things to climb, not to mention any positive attention.

Yeah that's pretty much how I feel about it.  I find him really enchanting (although he makes me realise how I neglect my cats by not playing with them enough - I can't get them to pant like he says they should) and I like the fact that he remains professional despite clearly wanting to throttle some of the people.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1437 on: January 03, 2014, 05:16:36 PM »
I've realized that having multiple cats has taken a lot of the onus of "playtime" off me - they play with each other until they tire themselves out, and then come to me for cuddles.

Dear Batman and Batman,

You, my darlings, are going to your new home with my friend tomorrow! Pleasedon'tdestroyhishouse.

Love, Mommy

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1438 on: January 03, 2014, 06:07:21 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.
~I'm just standing with you, in the darkness between battles~


PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1439 on: January 03, 2014, 07:17:15 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.

Bananas!!!  What the heck!  Cat's are weird, but eating bananas is going too far.