Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 175650 times)

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Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1440 on: January 03, 2014, 07:19:12 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.

Bananas!!!  What the heck!  Cat's are weird, but eating bananas is going too far.

Lily eats everything! I can't even take a slice of bread out of the freezer to thaw unless I climb up to put it somewhere she can't get...and god forbid I should open the fridge without giving her cheese...
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch!


ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1441 on: January 03, 2014, 07:53:02 PM »
My cat Harley loves peanut butter.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1442 on: January 03, 2014, 08:31:26 PM »
Had a cat once that loved canned beets.  Another one that we discovered in the bucket we were using to dump the scraps and innards from carving pumpkins...we realized the cat was in there when some stuff came flying back out of the bucket.  The cat was eating the pumpkin bits but was, as cats do, playing with them as well.

Dear cats,

This is Florida.  It's cold, but it's not literally freezing.  It is not necessary for all of you to sleep on me at the same time.

Love,

The human you're trying to suffocate.

MerryCat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1443 on: January 03, 2014, 09:36:59 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.

Bananas!!!  What the heck!  Cat's are weird, but eating bananas is going too far.

Sophie likes to lick dried apricots. You have to rip them open first, though, because only the sticky insides are tasty, apparently.

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1444 on: January 03, 2014, 09:40:22 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.

Bananas!!!  What the heck!  Cat's are weird, but eating bananas is going too far.

Lily eats everything! I can't even take a slice of bread out of the freezer to thaw unless I climb up to put it somewhere she can't get...and god forbid I should open the fridge without giving her cheese...

Fred is too fat and lazy to jump up on things. But I found him the other day, sitting on the dining table, fishing the feta cheese out of my Greek salad. Cheddar and Swiss I can understand, but *feta*?
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


JennJenn68

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1445 on: January 03, 2014, 09:59:32 PM »
Once upon a time, I was the slave of a cat who loathed all human food... except canned mushrooms.  She could not get enough of them.  Any time a can was opened, she was right there, waiting for them.  She was most perturbed if the contents of said can was anything else... even wet cat food.  Go figure.

She died in 2002.  I still miss her, even though she had the nastiest meow I have ever heard...!

A new letter to my boys!

Dear Buzz:

Stop.  Just stop.  I know you're part Siamese (your voice is a dead giveaway!) but do you have to start yelling half an hour before every darned feeding time??  Have you not discovered yet that I feed you when I have decided it's time?  That terrible noise you make only contributes to my base desires to punt you across the room!

Dear Deke:

What in Hades have you been eating?  Please, by all things godly, stop farting in my face!  What did I do to deserve that??

Dear Mehitabel:

You're still without brains, and twice your ideal body weight besides.  Regardless, I love you desperately.  The fact that you're my favourite right now says less about you than about your two little brothers...!  Sheesh.

Slavishly,

She Who Provides All (And Is Never Thanked For It)!

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1446 on: January 03, 2014, 10:56:37 PM »

Dear Buzz:

Stop.  Just stop.  I know you're part Siamese (your voice is a dead giveaway!) but do you have to start yelling half an hour before every darned feeding time??  Have you not discovered yet that I feed you when I have decided it's time?  That terrible noise you make only contributes to my base desires to punt you across the room!
Dear hoomin: what i HAZ learned iz dat it takes 30 HOLE MINNITS b4 youz feedz us.  Be moar prompt next tyme.

Buzz
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1447 on: January 04, 2014, 06:38:34 AM »
The Last Cat But One liked curry. Our fault - she was a rescue kitten who had been taken too young from her mother so she sucked the end of her tail, like a baby thumb-sucking. Her fur went horrible and the vet recommended breaking her of the habit by putting pepper sauce on the tip of her tail before she turned the whole thing bald.

 This could go on the 'Don't do that...' thread - she got a taste for it. Lentil dhal makes cats fart too, and a smallish piece of garlic and coriander naan makes a ferocious mess when 'killed' under the table.

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1448 on: January 04, 2014, 03:36:36 PM »
 Dear Nani and Koa,

I'm sorry that the cat door to the porch is missing.  When the weather gets warmer, I'll put it back.  Believe me, you don't want to go out there right now, and the draft was making your bedroom cold.  As much as I wish sitting in the window meowing at me would divert Arctic cold fronts, it doesn't.

Love,

The payer of the heating bill

(In case you are wondering, the cat door in question is a removable window insert.)

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1449 on: January 05, 2014, 03:01:53 PM »
Dear Sophie,

Two things.

First off: since when are you a lap cat? Why couldn't you have been a lap cat before you doubled in size? You are now far too long to be a lap cat.

And second: will you STOP apparently turning yourself invisible?! I was convinced you'd got into the basement or the attic, but no, you were right in front of the heating vent the entire time. I looked there three darn times. Keep to one plane of visual existence, kitten!

Also, if you try to attack my new desk lamp, there WILL be eHell to pay, cat.

With sighs,
the Not-Furry One.
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch!


Cherry91

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1450 on: January 05, 2014, 03:55:53 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.

Bananas!!!  What the heck!  Cat's are weird, but eating bananas is going too far.

When my late kitty was still here, he used to sit just below the counter while food was being prepared, and sometimes try to reach up to the counter as if to steal from it. We learned eventually that if you showed him something he didn't eat (and h couldn't smell meat or fish), he'd lose interest. One day:

Joey: *Whining, begging, reaching up*
Me: *Holds out a piece of chopped banana* Joey, it's fruit, you don't eat this -
Joey: NOMNOMNOM
Me: ...Apparently you do.

Dazi

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1451 on: January 05, 2014, 04:34:33 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.

Bananas!!!  What the heck!  Cat's are weird, but eating bananas is going too far.

When my late kitty was still here, he used to sit just below the counter while food was being prepared, and sometimes try to reach up to the counter as if to steal from it. We learned eventually that if you showed him something he didn't eat (and h couldn't smell meat or fish), he'd lose interest. One day:

Joey: *Whining, begging, reaching up*
Me: *Holds out a piece of chopped banana* Joey, it's fruit, you don't eat this -
Joey: NOMNOMNOM
Me: ...Apparently you do.

I've had that conversation for years with my cat.  He's never listened.  Bananas, grapes, tomatoes, carrot sticks, spaghetti sauce...you name it, he will eat it...except for tuna and salmon.  I have a cat that doesn't like fish.  ::)
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





blue2000

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1452 on: January 05, 2014, 04:47:28 PM »
Dear Lily,

Why, in the name of all that is fluffy and good, DID YOU EAT MY BANANAS?!

I had no breakfast thanks to you, cat. Keep your paws off my mini-nanners!

With gasted flabber,
the Not-Furry One.

Bananas!!!  What the heck!  Cat's are weird, but eating bananas is going too far.

When my late kitty was still here, he used to sit just below the counter while food was being prepared, and sometimes try to reach up to the counter as if to steal from it. We learned eventually that if you showed him something he didn't eat (and h couldn't smell meat or fish), he'd lose interest. One day:

Joey: *Whining, begging, reaching up*
Me: *Holds out a piece of chopped banana* Joey, it's fruit, you don't eat this -
Joey: NOMNOMNOM
Me: ...Apparently you do.

I've had that conversation for years with my cat.  He's never listened.  Bananas, grapes, tomatoes, carrot sticks, spaghetti sauce...you name it, he will eat it...except for tuna and salmon.  I have a cat that doesn't like fish.  ::)

LOL!

My youngest is a feline garbage can. He will eat most things in a heartbeat. I found out one day after he begged for some of my lunch that he does not like hot dogs. Nope, he likes the mustard. It is his official better-than-catnip-nomnom-givemesome food.

I have to agree with PastryGoddess. Cats are dang weird.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Black Delphinium

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1453 on: January 05, 2014, 10:27:02 PM »
Dear Maya,

You are my darling girl, my baby, and I will love you forever....





But Yukiko is here to stay. Stop being a hissy missy. Yuki is perfectly nice and willing to be your friend.
I know you've been an only child for 6 years, but Yukiko needed a home, and a having a friend won't kill you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1454 on: January 06, 2014, 12:30:12 AM »
Dear Princess,

If your curmudgeonly self injures delicate little baby Coffee Bean, you will be a catskin hat.  I love you, but you are evil incarnate.

Love,

The only one in the house able to operate the can opener.