Once upon a time, I was the slave of a cat who loathed all human food... except canned mushrooms. She could not get enough of them. Any time a can was opened, she was right there, waiting for them. She was most perturbed if the contents of said can was anything else... even wet cat food. Go figure.
She died in 2002. I still miss her, even though she had the nastiest meow I have ever heard...!
A new letter to my boys!
Stop. Just stop. I know you're part Siamese (your voice is a dead giveaway!) but do you have to start yelling half an hour before every darned feeding time?? Have you not discovered yet that I feed you when I have decided it's time? That terrible noise you make only contributes to my base desires to punt you across the room!
What in Hades have you been eating? Please, by all things godly, stop farting in my face! What did I do to deserve that??
You're still without brains, and twice your ideal body weight besides. Regardless, I love you desperately. The fact that you're my favourite right now says less about you than about your two little brothers...! Sheesh.
She Who Provides All (And Is Never Thanked For It)!