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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 598438 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1500 on: March 09, 2014, 09:23:21 PM »
Dear kitties,

You are not adequately grooming your fur, so we bought brushes. Slapping the brushes does not hurt their feelings.

Sincerely,

Mayor of kitty town
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1501 on: March 09, 2014, 10:29:48 PM »
Dear kitties,

You are not adequately grooming your fur, so we bought brushes. Slapping the brushes does not hurt their feelings.

Sincerely,

Mayor of kitty town

I have found a combination of  brush, catnip spray, and treats turns whappy pawed cats in to right proper attention whores.  It is now to the point that me brushing my hair causes 1-3 kittehs sitting at my feet wondering what's taking me so long to pay attention to them. 

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1502 on: March 10, 2014, 11:23:00 AM »
Oh, Mocha loves the brush, but slaps it then flops for brushing. She is special.  ;D
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

lofty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1503 on: March 10, 2014, 12:28:09 PM »
Dear Jasper,

Yes, I DID leave my cup unattended for approximately 2 minutes last night while I checked on your human brother. Yes, it DID have liquid in it. Yes, I DID have to remove you from my lap to check on your human brother. That does not, however, give you the right to knock the full glass of soda all over the table, ottoman, and carpet! Think about it fuzz-brain, the 20 minutes I spent cleaning up the mess I could have spent snuggling you instead.

Love, Mom
Coffee and paper make everything better, hence why my blog is www.CaffeinatedPapercuts.com

MinAvi

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1504 on: March 10, 2014, 05:55:27 PM »
Dear Charlie cat,

Can you please stop convincing your Dad to let you out at night? You know it wont work on me, but you have him wrapped around your little paw.

As you cost me $200 at the vet yesterday after you picked a fight with something bigger than you (and now look like a demented chipmunk with your swollen cheek) I think you will now understand why you are not allowed outside at night!

We have big dogs, snakes, possums and cane toads, all of which are lethal to tubby ginger cats like you!

So just knock it off ok?

Yours,

She who is broke!!

 



greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1505 on: March 10, 2014, 06:41:03 PM »
Dear Princess,

Ha!  Vengeance is mine!  I am using YOU for a pillow this time, since you're sleeping on top of my pile of pillows.

Neener-neener,
Your human

MonteCristo

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1506 on: March 11, 2014, 11:35:37 AM »
Dear Sebastian,

I understand that the big front window is very exciting, and you like to be as high up as possible when you are pretend stalking the outside.  However, prancing on the headrest of Dad's chair and constantly swating him in the head with your tail is a really good way to get yourself banished from the room on a permanent basis.  Also, you don't weigh anything right now, so running up and down people like a cat tree isn't too bad, but once summer shorts come out and you get a little bigger that is not going to be acceptable.  So figure out a different way to get around pronto!

The aunt who brings catnip.

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1507 on: March 11, 2014, 02:13:26 PM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1508 on: March 11, 2014, 03:16:23 PM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.

Dear Dudley,

You need to teach your human about the Cat Gap. No blind should ever be completely closed. There must always be at least a four inch gap of clear, open window at the bottom, so that we cats can jump up on the window sill and see out. All cats must be able to see out of every window at all times--this is an important lesson that you must teach your human. It makes the best impression when you teach this loudly at 2 am. It does not matter that it is too dark to see anything outside at 2 am. Cats need access to all windows, all the time. It's a basic feline right.

But you are young. You will learn. And then you can teach the food providers.

Good luck,
Freddie the Fierce
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1509 on: March 11, 2014, 06:07:50 PM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.

Dear Dudley,

You need to teach your human about the Cat Gap. No blind should ever be completely closed. There must always be at least a four inch gap of clear, open window at the bottom, so that we cats can jump up on the window sill and see out. All cats must be able to see out of every window at all times--this is an important lesson that you must teach your human. It makes the best impression when you teach this loudly at 2 am. It does not matter that it is too dark to see anything outside at 2 am. Cats need access to all windows, all the time. It's a basic feline right.

But you are young. You will learn. And then you can teach the food providers.

Good luck,
Freddie the Fierce

Dear Dudley and Freddie,

Our human has given up on blinds entirely, and has started just purchasing cheap curtains so the inevitable climbing expeditions aren't too costly.

Love,

Greencat's menagerie

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1510 on: March 11, 2014, 07:40:23 PM »
Dear Max

We love that you've become a big rottie snugglepup, instead of the growly aloof dog you were considering as a puplet.

However -- I must point out that you area large black dog, and we tend to have a house kept as dark as possible in summer so it stays cool. This means that when you stretch out on the lounge, the Humans might not realise you're there, especially if we think you're still laying in the cool of the bathroom.

One of these days, you're going to get sat on my lad, and that could be embarrassing for all concerned. We might need to fit you with a little locator light.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1511 on: March 12, 2014, 09:47:45 AM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.

Dear Dudley,

You need to teach your human about the Cat Gap. No blind should ever be completely closed. There must always be at least a four inch gap of clear, open window at the bottom, so that we cats can jump up on the window sill and see out. All cats must be able to see out of every window at all times--this is an important lesson that you must teach your human. It makes the best impression when you teach this loudly at 2 am. It does not matter that it is too dark to see anything outside at 2 am. Cats need access to all windows, all the time. It's a basic feline right.

But you are young. You will learn. And then you can teach the food providers.

Good luck,
Freddie the Fierce

Dear Dudley and Freddie,

Our human has given up on blinds entirely, and has started just purchasing cheap curtains so the inevitable climbing expeditions aren't too costly.

Love,

Greencat's menagerie

Oh, this is so true.  Especially the part about 2 am.  One night he woke me, climbing the curtains above my bed.  He made it all the way to the top, only to drop down with a thud on the pillow next to my head.  Even if I hadn't already been awakened by the scrambling noise as he made his way up, the thud, the insanely loud purring, the squeaks (Dudley doesn't meow, he squeaks), and the tiny kitty giggles would have done it.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1512 on: March 12, 2014, 09:58:34 AM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.

Dear Dudley,

You need to teach your human about the Cat Gap. No blind should ever be completely closed. There must always be at least a four inch gap of clear, open window at the bottom, so that we cats can jump up on the window sill and see out. All cats must be able to see out of every window at all times--this is an important lesson that you must teach your human. It makes the best impression when you teach this loudly at 2 am. It does not matter that it is too dark to see anything outside at 2 am. Cats need access to all windows, all the time. It's a basic feline right.

But you are young. You will learn. And then you can teach the food providers.

Good luck,
Freddie the Fierce

Dear Dudley and Freddie,

Our human has given up on blinds entirely, and has started just purchasing cheap curtains so the inevitable climbing expeditions aren't too costly.

Love,

Greencat's menagerie

Oh, this is so true.  Especially the part about 2 am.  One night he woke me, climbing the curtains above my bed.  He made it all the way to the top, only to drop down with a thud on the pillow next to my head.  Even if I hadn't already been awakened by the scrambling noise as he made his way up, the thud, the insanely loud purring, the squeaks (Dudley doesn't meow, he squeaks), and the tiny kitty giggles would have done it.

Well, at least he didn't drop on your face, leaving three long, bleeding claw marks on your forehead, the night before the last possible day for your to renew your driver's license, and two days before you were going to be your best friend's MOH.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1513 on: March 12, 2014, 03:23:48 PM »
Hmm, Camlan, I think we need the full story.
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1514 on: March 12, 2014, 04:36:26 PM »
Hmm, Camlan, I think we need the full story.

Agreed. :)

*ahem*

Dear Lily,

Stop sleeping on my new sweaters. I'm aware they're soft and warm. That's why I got them. But you are SHEDDING all over them and I'd just washed them!

Dear Rika,

What the e-Hell has got into you lately? You know you are not allowed on the new computer case OR on the table. While I am pleased that you actually listen most of the time when I tell you to get down from there, I'd rather you don't get up there at all!

Dear Sophie,

I would really appreciate it if, when I clean off the bathroom windowsill so you can sit there, you would then leave my mesh bath sponge alone. Now I have to buy a new one.

Dear Branwen,

STOP HORKING IN THE DOORWAY AT 3 AM!!!!

Sigh,
The Not-Furry One.
"This is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put."