Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 178322 times)

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Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1575 on: March 31, 2014, 06:50:41 PM »
Dear Salem

I do hope you realise that when a kitty with the nicknames 'the black hole' and 'the bottomless pit' is off her food, the hoomin slave becomes worried.

I'm glad your appetite was back this morning.

Luv
the non-furry provider of noms

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1576 on: April 01, 2014, 06:15:44 PM »
Dear Leo,

Do you seriously have no brain?  First you escape outside during a (small) tornado and we worry you're going to get blown away.  Then you escape again this morning into the rain, looking perplexed at the weird stuff falling on you.  Luckily your non existent brain has been replaced with extra bundles of sweetness.  You are cute, and lovable, and always up for snuggles.  But stupid as a box of rocks.

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1577 on: April 14, 2014, 01:24:53 AM »
Dear Oscar

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  For being the patient and loving monster kitty that you are. 

The 2 year old terrors known as my niece and nephew have now flown back across the ocean to NZ :( and you no longer have to suffer the indignity of having your tail pulled, your ears investigated and your eyes poked (when there's two of them going at it with fours hands its hard to track them all).  You took it with calm dignity and not once did you swear, scratch or bite.  I'm so proud of you little man - I know it wasn't easy, especially as you have never come across babies before.

xx
Mum

PS: it's the good stuff for dinner for the rest of the month!

The TARDIS

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1578 on: April 14, 2014, 02:05:02 AM »
Dear Stormageddon:

Please understand that my squirming and moving you over when you make muffins on my leg is because it hurts and not because I don't want you there. These new pajama pants aren't kitty proof like my other pair(This is what happens when the Doctor regenerates!). I hope having a blanket in my lap makes up for my earlier insult to your muffin making prowess.

Love,

The TARDIS

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Dazi

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1579 on: April 14, 2014, 09:08:40 PM »
Dear kittens,

How did you learn to tell time?  I totally get that you know food time,  but how is it that you know wake up times,  weekend wake up time,  understand vacation time,  and know when bed time is?

Your dearly devoted human.



The backstory: one of my little preciouses "yells"  at me when I stay up past my bed time.  She has her own bedroom (no,  I'm not kidding)  and when she's  ready for bed,  she tells me, goes to her room,  and waits to to make sure I go to bed too.   The sad part is, she's right about it being time for me to sleep.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1580 on: April 15, 2014, 12:16:29 AM »
Dear Siamese Kittens,

Yep, you're Siamese alright.  Slightly less chatter would be appreciated - I think you're stuck in something or otherwise hurt only to find you guys chewing on each other again!

Love,

The Human Food Giver

P.S. Please leave my shoe alone.  Why do you have it in for just that one shoe in particular?  I put it on the shoe rack because I wanted it there, not so you can fling it off in five minutes or less!

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1581 on: April 15, 2014, 03:34:40 PM »
Dear kittens,

How did you learn to tell time?  I totally get that you know food time,  but how is it that you know wake up times,  weekend wake up time,  understand vacation time,  and know when bed time is?

Your dearly devoted human.



The backstory: one of my little preciouses "yells"  at me when I stay up past my bed time.  She has her own bedroom (no,  I'm not kidding)  and when she's  ready for bed,  she tells me, goes to her room,  and waits to to make sure I go to bed too.   The sad part is, she's right about it being time for me to sleep.

We have a kitty time keeper too. You should see the panic if we go upstairs around bedtime before her treats go down.

lofty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1582 on: April 15, 2014, 04:16:48 PM »
Dear Jasper-cat,

Where the hell are you finding all of these pipe cleaners?!? Seriously cat, I counted; you have 14 of them now! I found the package you chewed through and put it in the cupboard that you cannot open, and yet you are still bringing more downstairs. I admit, it is adorable that you gave each of your siblings one, too, but come on now - enough already!

The frustrated food-provider
Coffee and paper make everything better, hence why my blog is www.CaffeinatedPapercuts.com

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1583 on: April 15, 2014, 04:34:23 PM »
Dear Coffee Bean,

I now work nights and no longer need to get up at 7.  Please let me sleep!

Dear Marshmallow Fluff Kittens,

D'awwww you've learned to beg me for food. 

Dear MomCat,

It's not quite as cute when you turn your nose up at the dry food and demand gushifud.

Love,

The provider of noms.

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1584 on: April 15, 2014, 05:02:33 PM »
Dear Jasper-cat,

Where the hell are you finding all of these pipe cleaners?!? Seriously cat, I counted; you have 14 of them now! I found the package you chewed through and put it in the cupboard that you cannot open, and yet you are still bringing more downstairs. I admit, it is adorable that you gave each of your siblings one, too, but come on now - enough already!

The frustrated food-provider

Those are mine, I thought I'd lost them, please ask Jasper to return them when he's done with them.

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1585 on: April 16, 2014, 12:04:54 PM »
Dear Duchess,

I know you were spooked by all the company in the house last night, but please don't hide so well that we can't find you!  We searched the entire house, called your name...five different people looked in the office closet and didn't see you.  And then you just popped out of the closet like nothing had happened.

Please don't scare us like that again.


lofty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1586 on: April 16, 2014, 02:48:13 PM »
Dear Jasper-cat,

Where the hell are you finding all of these pipe cleaners?!? Seriously cat, I counted; you have 14 of them now! I found the package you chewed through and put it in the cupboard that you cannot open, and yet you are still bringing more downstairs. I admit, it is adorable that you gave each of your siblings one, too, but come on now - enough already!

The frustrated food-provider

Those are mine, I thought I'd lost them, please ask Jasper to return them when he's done with them.
I'll mail them to you; look for a large box with air holes. Don't be alarmed if it meows.
Coffee and paper make everything better, hence why my blog is www.CaffeinatedPapercuts.com

soetkin

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1587 on: April 17, 2014, 04:11:29 AM »
Dear Isis,
I know kitties are independent and you are the queen of the apartment park and all but why did you move out after 3 years? I mean, I adopted you and took care of you!
I love that you came to visit after a month to reassure me you were still alive and well, but still. I miss you.


Dear Dude,
I realise I suck at hunting and you want to make sure I don't starve, but there's really no need to hide a disembowelled mouse in my bed at night. While I appreciate the early morning mousey anatomy lesson (how did you rip the skin off while leaving the entrails intact?), I don't want to deal with corpses when I wake up.


Dearest Cleo,
I don't mind when you sleep on my head at night or chew my hair, but please refrain from purring so loud it makes my skull vibrate. Sleep is important to me.

Love,
the much-suffering mommy


camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1588 on: April 17, 2014, 06:34:10 AM »


Dear Dude,
I realise I suck at hunting and you want to make sure I don't starve, but there's really no need to hide a disembowelled mouse in my bed at night. While I appreciate the early morning mousey anatomy lesson (how did you rip the skin off while leaving the entrails intact?), I don't want to deal with corpses when I wake up.



Love,
the much-suffering mommy

Dear Fred,

I know I have used those words that we do not repeat outside the privacy of our little home on those occasions when you have thoughtfully placed your most recent kill on the floor by the bed right where I will step on it as I get up in the morning.

This will stop immediately. You are a very brave hunter and a very, very good boy. Gushifood is coming your way!

Love,
the human scratching post
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1589 on: April 17, 2014, 12:31:45 PM »
Dear Mocha,

This is your 21 day notice that the kitten food will be discontinued. You will be one year old and can live on adult food.

I picked you up this morning and you feel like a butter ball turkey wrapped in warm fur. You have filled out nicely, and I think you are mostly done growing.

Love,

Mom