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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 637801 times)

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songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1575 on: April 16, 2014, 11:04:54 AM »
Dear Duchess,

I know you were spooked by all the company in the house last night, but please don't hide so well that we can't find you!  We searched the entire house, called your name...five different people looked in the office closet and didn't see you.  And then you just popped out of the closet like nothing had happened.

Please don't scare us like that again.


lofty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1576 on: April 16, 2014, 01:48:13 PM »
Dear Jasper-cat,

Where the hell are you finding all of these pipe cleaners?!? Seriously cat, I counted; you have 14 of them now! I found the package you chewed through and put it in the cupboard that you cannot open, and yet you are still bringing more downstairs. I admit, it is adorable that you gave each of your siblings one, too, but come on now - enough already!

The frustrated food-provider

Those are mine, I thought I'd lost them, please ask Jasper to return them when he's done with them.
I'll mail them to you; look for a large box with air holes. Don't be alarmed if it meows.
Coffee and paper make everything better, hence why my blog is www.CaffeinatedPapercuts.com

soetkin

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1577 on: April 17, 2014, 03:11:29 AM »
Dear Isis,
I know kitties are independent and you are the queen of the apartment park and all but why did you move out after 3 years? I mean, I adopted you and took care of you!
I love that you came to visit after a month to reassure me you were still alive and well, but still. I miss you.


Dear Dude,
I realise I suck at hunting and you want to make sure I don't starve, but there's really no need to hide a disembowelled mouse in my bed at night. While I appreciate the early morning mousey anatomy lesson (how did you rip the skin off while leaving the entrails intact?), I don't want to deal with corpses when I wake up.


Dearest Cleo,
I don't mind when you sleep on my head at night or chew my hair, but please refrain from purring so loud it makes my skull vibrate. Sleep is important to me.

Love,
the much-suffering mommy


camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1578 on: April 17, 2014, 05:34:10 AM »


Dear Dude,
I realise I suck at hunting and you want to make sure I don't starve, but there's really no need to hide a disembowelled mouse in my bed at night. While I appreciate the early morning mousey anatomy lesson (how did you rip the skin off while leaving the entrails intact?), I don't want to deal with corpses when I wake up.



Love,
the much-suffering mommy

Dear Fred,

I know I have used those words that we do not repeat outside the privacy of our little home on those occasions when you have thoughtfully placed your most recent kill on the floor by the bed right where I will step on it as I get up in the morning.

This will stop immediately. You are a very brave hunter and a very, very good boy. Gushifood is coming your way!

Love,
the human scratching post
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1579 on: April 17, 2014, 11:31:45 AM »
Dear Mocha,

This is your 21 day notice that the kitten food will be discontinued. You will be one year old and can live on adult food.

I picked you up this morning and you feel like a butter ball turkey wrapped in warm fur. You have filled out nicely, and I think you are mostly done growing.

Love,

Mom
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1580 on: April 17, 2014, 02:34:01 PM »
Dear fluffy baby kittens,

For the love of dog, stop chewing on each other and screaming while I'm trying to sleep.  You are the noisiest babies ever!

Love,

The babysitter

Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1581 on: April 20, 2014, 08:28:17 PM »
Dear Figaro,

I love that you've lost a little weight and look more like the mysterious kitty you want to be.  However, it does not please me that you can now climb up the back of the wall unit that houses the TV, stereo, cable box, and numerous books.

You will not like it when I have that unit removed to make way for the new TV set I have to buy.

Love,

The provider of Fancy Feast





Photoperson

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1582 on: April 21, 2014, 06:57:00 AM »
Dear kittycat,

I love that you love me so much. I really do. But when I'm doing yoga, I don't need you to help me. Those poses when I'm lying on the floor are not meant to be done with you draped around my head and purring in my ear. And when I lift my head off the floor, I do not want to find you in the way when I lower it. Just stick to showing off how much more limber you are than I am, and leave the sweaty stuff to me.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1583 on: April 21, 2014, 07:39:07 AM »
Dear kitties,

Can you guys perhaps not throw my shoes everywhere?  I was a good human and picked them all up off the floor and put them on my shoe racks where they belong and you are ruining it.  Likewise with the laundry - I put it in a basket for a reason, which was not so that you guys could play with it.   Now my room is a mess again and it is not my fault. 

Love,

Your ever-suffering roommate.

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1584 on: April 23, 2014, 12:50:57 AM »
Dear Jasper-cat,

Where the hell are you finding all of these pipe cleaners?!? Seriously cat, I counted; you have 14 of them now! I found the package you chewed through and put it in the cupboard that you cannot open, and yet you are still bringing more downstairs. I admit, it is adorable that you gave each of your siblings one, too, but come on now - enough already!

The frustrated food-provider

Those are mine, I thought I'd lost them, please ask Jasper to return them when he's done with them.
I'll mail them to you; look for a large box with air holes. Don't be alarmed if it meows.

 ;D  We definitely need a like button!  ;D

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1585 on: April 23, 2014, 01:21:48 AM »
Dear cats,

Looking at you, MomCat, because the rest of the inmates are not coordinated enough to take down a bird.  Do not bring birds into the house, alive or dead, and most especially do not leave them on my bedroom floor for me to find when I get home from work.  I know you're trying to teach the little monsters adorable baby kittens how to hunt, but seriously, they don't have the attention span for hunting more than my shoes at this point.

Not-so-much-love,
The zookeeper

P.S. If that was the bird that was making obscene amounts of noise outside my window when I was trying to sleep, please know that I appreciate the silencing, but still do not want the aftermath in my room.

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1586 on: April 23, 2014, 01:41:01 AM »
Dear Sophie,

I'm well aware you're very appreciative that you now get to explore The Great Basement. I would appreciate it, however, if you would stop doing these two things:

1: Playing in the shower stall. It's fiberglass. You thump around like an elephant on methamphetamines. I can hear you two levels up when you do that. This will not fly.

2: Coaxing the dumb-as-a-rock dog downstairs, just to see him skid on the tile. One of these days he's going to tear or break something if you keep doing that.

I'd also like you to stop cold-nosing my hand and going "Mwwk!" just to make me jump when I don't bother turning the bathroom light on, even if it is funny in retrospect.

Mumble grumble kitten razzum frazzum hmph,
The Not-Furry One.
"This is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put."


GreenHall

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1587 on: April 23, 2014, 08:25:41 AM »
Dear cats,

Looking at you, MomCat, because the rest of the inmates are not coordinated enough to take down a bird.  Do not bring birds into the house, alive or dead, and most especially do not leave them on my bedroom floor for me to find when I get home from work.  I know you're trying to teach the little monsters adorable baby kittens how to hunt, but seriously, they don't have the attention span for hunting more than my shoes at this point.

Not-so-much-love,
The zookeeper

P.S. If that was the bird that was making obscene amounts of noise outside my window when I was trying to sleep, please know that I appreciate the silencing, but still do not want the aftermath in my room.

Renfield lost kitty-door privileges over a similar event.  Well, she wasn't teaching anyone else to hunt, and she seemed to have done a rather good job on her own, over the entire downstairs....Who know a cardinal had that many feathers?

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1588 on: April 23, 2014, 08:47:37 AM »
Would you prefer they brought their hunting trophies into the house while still alive?  We used to have a cat named Daisy, and one night she caught a bunny and brought him into the house.  Poor thing hid behind the washing machine for two days before we could coax him out/capture him and set him free.

GreenHall

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1589 on: April 23, 2014, 08:57:33 AM »
Would you prefer they brought their hunting trophies into the house while still alive?  We used to have a cat named Daisy, and one night she caught a bunny and brought him into the house.  Poor thing hid behind the washing machine for two days before we could coax him out/capture him and set him free.
Based on feather distribution, I believe Ren's was able to at least flap somewhat away from her. 
Also just remembered the half dozen or so little moles.  I think she liked the squeaky noises when she batted them.  When they stopped squeaking, she left them where they were (generally under a corner of furniture).  Later I would be trying to figure out why it smelled faintly of death in the living room.