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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 660549 times)

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spookycatlady

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1680 on: June 24, 2014, 09:09:58 AM »
Dear Clyde 2, Electric Boogaloo.

I hope you understand now that my back and office chair combined do not make suitable parkour surfaces.  Also, you are very pokey.

Love,
fud lady

DistantStar

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1681 on: June 24, 2014, 09:57:10 PM »
Funny, Nikko-chan, my Amber does the same thing!  The noises are...mostly awful.  But I will give her credit where it is due, she keeps her ginger furs as lovely as they could possibly be.  :)  It must be effective!

Dear Amber,

THANK YOU for horking on the tile floor in the laundry room this morning instead of on the carpet.  Thank you thank you thank you.  It's still horrible but sooooo much easier to clean.

Your human servant

Craftyone

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1682 on: June 28, 2014, 05:43:05 PM »
Dear Coco
Mum and dad love that you want to snuggle between us at night but please don't snuffle.  It results in dad thinking it's mum (I've got a slight cold) and poking her to stop, which results in mum waking up and getting huffy at dad, who was still half asleep.  Meanwhile, you then wake up and want pats/food etc.  Good thing you're so gorgeous and cute, we forgave you immediately.  It took a bit longer for mum to forgive dad  ;)

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1683 on: June 28, 2014, 05:48:56 PM »
Dear Lynx,
1) I am still not your mother.
2) You do not have to cheek mark me when I come home from the boy's house.  I do not need that much cat slobber on my skin, thank you very much.

Love,
Not the mama!  Also not a tree.

Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1684 on: June 29, 2014, 05:58:41 AM »
Dear Carmen and Figaro,

Please stop clawing my sheets.  I've had to sew up little triangular rips you've done and it's very frustrating to find more.  It's bad enough that I go through sticky rolls picking up your black fur from them.

But I still love you.

Your Human





ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1685 on: June 29, 2014, 07:43:48 PM »
Mocha, why are you howling at the front door? There's no one out there and you are an inside only cat.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1686 on: June 29, 2014, 08:55:57 PM »
Dear stray kitty who does not have a name,

I'm don't bite, I promise. You don't have to run away every time I go outside.

Love,
The mastiff's mommy.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1687 on: June 30, 2014, 10:01:49 AM »
Dear furballs,

Okay, who put the dead lizard in my shoe?  >:(  I suppose I should be glad it was a dried lizard instead of a liquified lizard since I found it by putting my foot in the shoe, but it isn't that much better. 

Love,

The one who is thinking that several someones around here are due for a vet appointment.

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1688 on: June 30, 2014, 03:03:39 PM »
Dear Idiots,

It is going to be 107 degrees today - NO you cannot go outside.  Please stop with the crying in tandem like you are being tortured.  Some of you have a little sense and would come in to cool off but others (ahem, Roxie) apparently have no brain and I know you would take off and get heatstroke or something.  Just GO TO SLEEP in the nice air conditioned house.

Love,
An exasperated human

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1689 on: June 30, 2014, 10:33:55 PM »
Dear kittehs,

I promise I will buy the regular brand of food next time, but please eat this bag?  I don't feel like hauling it back to the store since the bag is ripped wide open.  I swear it's cat food and not horrible torture.

Love,

The quartermaster

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1690 on: July 01, 2014, 03:12:41 AM »
Dear Stephen,

Congratulations on having your stitches out last week. The surgery appears to have done you the world of good, and we are glad you are enjoying your second kitten-hood.

However, your sister, next-door's cats, next-door's dogs, the local birds, mice and even foxes(!) don't seem to be enjoying this as much. Not everything that moves requires bolting out of the back door like a rocket, hurtling across the lawn and knocking it flying with a sharp one-two from the front paws, nor a victory lap while your victim lies stunned, before going back to hiding just inside the door in case it moves again. It has also involved two stepladder rescues, retrieval from loft, and a death dive from the top of the wardrobe.

In cat years you are sixty. Where has this sudden fascination with extreme sports come from? 

Regards,
Mum (who is glad to see you are alright)

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1691 on: July 01, 2014, 03:46:28 AM »
Dear Mum

Mid-life crisis.

Love Stephen.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1692 on: July 01, 2014, 03:53:40 AM »
Dear Mum

Mid-life crisis.

Love Stephen.

Ahahaha! That was my first thought.

parrot_girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1693 on: July 02, 2014, 06:12:44 AM »
Dear Footlets,

I know we've been having some very cold nights, and it's lovely to have a hot water cat snuggled up to me. However, I must insist that you firstly do not put your paws in my mouth and secondly that having done so, you do not for the love of all that is decent and holy start kneading your claws in and out! It's not a nice way to wake up, having your lips clawed!

Just pretend you're a teddy bear and I'll happily cuddle you all night long.

love,
Mama

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1694 on: July 02, 2014, 06:46:00 AM »
Dear Duchess,

It's what we humans call "air conditioning", and it makes us more comfortable when we go to bed at night.  If you feel cold you may sleep in the living room, the couch is really comfy.  We are not turning off the a/c.