Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 190606 times)

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JadeAngel

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1680 on: June 18, 2014, 11:03:44 PM »
I could nip you, but I'd have to charge  ;)

PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1681 on: June 19, 2014, 02:50:20 AM »
Oh dear...what have I started :D

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1682 on: June 20, 2014, 01:09:02 PM »
Dear Matilda,

I know your brother gets his stitches out today. Dad (human slave #2) is with him at the vet at the moment. This does not mean you need to fill in to keep me busy. I have quite enough on my plate at the moment.

Specifically I never want to utter the phrase: "Good grief, you've got cat litter in your eye!" again. Nor could I have done with your determination to escape the wet tissue of doom and keep the litter there. It's not good for you.

And to add insult to injury, right after being a swearing, blending, mincer of death while you are being cleaned, you then realise it feels much better clean, purr, headbump mummy, and wander off to lick yourself. That does not make me stop bleeding.
 
Regards,
Mummy.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1683 on: June 20, 2014, 04:17:51 PM »
Dear Harley,

I know you love your dad. I know you love to go outside. You really should stop spending 20+ minutes meowing at the top of your lungs before your dad comes inside.

He can't hear you. There will be earplugs involved tonight.

Mom

mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1684 on: June 20, 2014, 08:47:46 PM »
Dear stray kitty,

How on earth did you manage to make friends with the cat hating mastiff in the yard? That took some serious determination! Next time you cuddle up with him, would you please stay put long enough for me to take a picture?

Love,
The mastiff's mom.

Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1685 on: June 20, 2014, 09:09:58 PM »
Dear stray kitty,

How on earth did you manage to make friends with the cat hating mastiff in the yard? That took some serious determination! Next time you cuddle up with him, would you please stay put long enough for me to take a picture?

Love,
The mastiff's mom.

Dear mastiff's mom,

You needed a cat to go with the dog.

Love,
Cat Central

JoW

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1686 on: June 20, 2014, 10:07:06 PM »
Dear stray kitty,

How on earth did you manage to make friends with the cat hating mastiff in the yard? That took some serious determination! Next time you cuddle up with him, would you please stay put long enough for me to take a picture?

Love,
The mastiff's mom.

Congratulations on your new cat.  Have you picked a name yet? 

Mad Goat Woman

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1687 on: June 21, 2014, 06:48:58 AM »
Dear Ghostie Grey

Why, oh why, when I was trying to bring you back inside, did you dig your claws into my right shoulder?

The working dogs wouldn't have hurt you.

Love,
Your human mum.






Captains Flat, Australia

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1688 on: June 21, 2014, 09:18:17 PM »

Dear Cat Central (Australasia division):

Please send me a cat. Black if you can manage it. Small kitten size for preference, so it can beat up the Demons.

We have a rodent issue with the Bucklets and I don't want to use baits.

Thank you
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1689 on: June 24, 2014, 01:13:45 AM »
Dear Ciaran:

When you lick your fur to get clean (cats are fastidious about this, I know) you do not have to slurp and glurp on your fur. You really don't. Its not gentlemanly. Please to be stopping with that!

Sincerely,

Your grossed out slave.

P.S. Don't you huff at me mister! I have the treaties. *nods*

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1690 on: June 24, 2014, 08:54:07 AM »
^Mocha does that and has since she was a wee little kitten.

Dear Harley,

I am very sorry your human father has gotten you into the habit of going outside for wet food. You running out when I was leaving yesterday made me very late for work, since I can't leave you out there as you are slow and stubborn and people over here are crazy.

I'm sorry you would not allow me to catch you until I started my vehicle and then you ran inside.

Your father is in major trouble over this.

Love,

Mom

spookycatlady

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1691 on: June 24, 2014, 10:09:58 AM »
Dear Clyde 2, Electric Boogaloo.

I hope you understand now that my back and office chair combined do not make suitable parkour surfaces.  Also, you are very pokey.

Love,
fud lady

DistantStar

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1692 on: June 24, 2014, 10:57:10 PM »
Funny, Nikko-chan, my Amber does the same thing!  The noises are...mostly awful.  But I will give her credit where it is due, she keeps her ginger furs as lovely as they could possibly be.  :)  It must be effective!

Dear Amber,

THANK YOU for horking on the tile floor in the laundry room this morning instead of on the carpet.  Thank you thank you thank you.  It's still horrible but sooooo much easier to clean.

Your human servant

Craftyone

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1693 on: June 28, 2014, 06:43:05 PM »
Dear Coco
Mum and dad love that you want to snuggle between us at night but please don't snuffle.  It results in dad thinking it's mum (I've got a slight cold) and poking her to stop, which results in mum waking up and getting huffy at dad, who was still half asleep.  Meanwhile, you then wake up and want pats/food etc.  Good thing you're so gorgeous and cute, we forgave you immediately.  It took a bit longer for mum to forgive dad  ;)

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1694 on: June 28, 2014, 06:48:56 PM »
Dear Lynx,
1) I am still not your mother.
2) You do not have to cheek mark me when I come home from the boy's house.  I do not need that much cat slobber on my skin, thank you very much.

Love,
Not the mama!  Also not a tree.