Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 190757 times)

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Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1695 on: June 29, 2014, 06:58:41 AM »
Dear Carmen and Figaro,

Please stop clawing my sheets.  I've had to sew up little triangular rips you've done and it's very frustrating to find more.  It's bad enough that I go through sticky rolls picking up your black fur from them.

But I still love you.

Your Human

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1696 on: June 29, 2014, 08:43:48 PM »
Mocha, why are you howling at the front door? There's no one out there and you are an inside only cat.

mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1697 on: June 29, 2014, 09:55:57 PM »
Dear stray kitty who does not have a name,

I'm don't bite, I promise. You don't have to run away every time I go outside.

Love,
The mastiff's mommy.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1698 on: June 30, 2014, 11:01:49 AM »
Dear furballs,

Okay, who put the dead lizard in my shoe?  >:(  I suppose I should be glad it was a dried lizard instead of a liquified lizard since I found it by putting my foot in the shoe, but it isn't that much better. 

Love,

The one who is thinking that several someones around here are due for a vet appointment.

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1699 on: June 30, 2014, 04:03:39 PM »
Dear Idiots,

It is going to be 107 degrees today - NO you cannot go outside.  Please stop with the crying in tandem like you are being tortured.  Some of you have a little sense and would come in to cool off but others (ahem, Roxie) apparently have no brain and I know you would take off and get heatstroke or something.  Just GO TO SLEEP in the nice air conditioned house.

Love,
An exasperated human

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1700 on: June 30, 2014, 11:33:55 PM »
Dear kittehs,

I promise I will buy the regular brand of food next time, but please eat this bag?  I don't feel like hauling it back to the store since the bag is ripped wide open.  I swear it's cat food and not horrible torture.

Love,

The quartermaster

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1701 on: July 01, 2014, 04:12:41 AM »
Dear Stephen,

Congratulations on having your stitches out last week. The surgery appears to have done you the world of good, and we are glad you are enjoying your second kitten-hood.

However, your sister, next-door's cats, next-door's dogs, the local birds, mice and even foxes(!) don't seem to be enjoying this as much. Not everything that moves requires bolting out of the back door like a rocket, hurtling across the lawn and knocking it flying with a sharp one-two from the front paws, nor a victory lap while your victim lies stunned, before going back to hiding just inside the door in case it moves again. It has also involved two stepladder rescues, retrieval from loft, and a death dive from the top of the wardrobe.

In cat years you are sixty. Where has this sudden fascination with extreme sports come from? 

Regards,
Mum (who is glad to see you are alright)

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1702 on: July 01, 2014, 04:46:28 AM »
Dear Mum

Mid-life crisis.

Love Stephen.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1703 on: July 01, 2014, 04:53:40 AM »
Dear Mum

Mid-life crisis.

Love Stephen.

Ahahaha! That was my first thought.

parrot_girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1704 on: July 02, 2014, 07:12:44 AM »
Dear Footlets,

I know we've been having some very cold nights, and it's lovely to have a hot water cat snuggled up to me. However, I must insist that you firstly do not put your paws in my mouth and secondly that having done so, you do not for the love of all that is decent and holy start kneading your claws in and out! It's not a nice way to wake up, having your lips clawed!

Just pretend you're a teddy bear and I'll happily cuddle you all night long.

love,
Mama

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1705 on: July 02, 2014, 07:46:00 AM »
Dear Duchess,

It's what we humans call "air conditioning", and it makes us more comfortable when we go to bed at night.  If you feel cold you may sleep in the living room, the couch is really comfy.  We are not turning off the a/c.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1706 on: July 02, 2014, 08:47:06 AM »
Dear Harley,

You would not go near the heated bed I bought you until we put daddy's yucky, smelly shirt on it. Not five minutes later, you were curled up asleep!

I'm glad I've got your number.

Love,

Mom

Mocha, you and I have a date with the claw trimmers tonight. My hand is going to look terrible with 6" long scratches all over it.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1707 on: July 03, 2014, 04:35:41 AM »
Dear Harley,

You would not go near the heated bed I bought you until we put daddy's yucky, smelly shirt on it. Not five minutes later, you were curled up asleep!

I'm glad I've got your number.

Love,

Mom
Dear Harley,

Now you have a shirt, don't let them think they can have it back! If you look around somewhere the human servants have a big box full of daddy- and mommy-smelling clothes you can curl up in, or knock over and drag  off to make a nest under the bed. If you shed enough fur on it, even the evil eater of laundry device down stairs will give up on trying to stop the clothes smelling of daddy.

Regards,
Matilda

parrot_girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1708 on: July 03, 2014, 04:58:43 AM »
Dear Footlets,

I know we've been having some very cold nights, and it's lovely to have a hot water cat snuggled up to me. However, I must insist that you firstly do not put your paws in my mouth and secondly that having done so, you do not for the love of all that is decent and holy start kneading your claws in and out! It's not a nice way to wake up, having your lips clawed!

Just pretend you're a teddy bear and I'll happily cuddle you all night long.

love,
Mama
and it appears that Footlets hopped onto the computer and read this post, because guess what he did last night? Yep, I had a lovely warm purring snuggly cat in my arms all night and no paws in my mouth. It was delightful!

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1709 on: July 03, 2014, 05:29:40 AM »

and it appears that Footlets hopped onto the computer and read this post, because guess what he did last night? Yep, I had a lovely warm purring snuggly cat in my arms all night and no paws in my mouth. It was delightful!

We've had very cold nights here, and the Demons have been taking over more and more of the bed. This 2am, I woke up to find I was completely pinned under the doona by a Demon on my legs and another snuggled as close to my side as he could. A certain amount of tact and bribery was involved before I could struggle out and rearrange blankets so everyone was warmer.

Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.