Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 190489 times)

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JennJenn68

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1740 on: July 22, 2014, 08:18:23 PM »
"Like" button is required!  Oh, dear heavens, I almost wet myself laughing at those photos!  And boy, I can just see my twin terrors (not to mention Dignified But Fat Older Sister) pulling any and all of those tricks!

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1741 on: July 24, 2014, 07:30:11 AM »
Dear Mama,

We. Don't. Care.

Love,

the kitties

p.s. Why do you think we're so stinkin cute? It's so we can get away with stuff like this.

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1742 on: July 24, 2014, 08:18:25 AM »

Dear local stray cat:

While I would pay good money to see what you would do if you actually got one of the chickens, I don't recommend it. They're bigger than you, have claws, and there's 4 of them. They'll hold you down and beat you up. I suggest you consider an easier target -- say one of the local wedge-tailed eagles. You only escaped the loving attentions of the Demons today through sheer dingdangity luck.


Dear chickens:

If you find a cat in your pen, you have my full permission to take any action you like. Just remember, fur is bad for the digestion and that cats have a fairly impressive turn of speed. Also, there's a dog on the other side of your fence, but she likes to sleep under the house. Make sure you cluck loudly so she's got a decent warning before you herd the feline over.


Dear Demons:

While your valiant attempts to break the world land speed record on the way out the back door are admirable, you've only just recovered from your paw injuries. Might I suggest you slow down slightly before we have to deal with a permanent injury? Also, the cats have a head-start on you, plus a wire fence between you and them. The chances of you actually catching them are nil. Shall we settle for banging the back door open, while barking madly, then proceeding to the fence at a decorous trot that does not endanger life, limb, and the sound barrier? You are free to woof to your hearts content.


Fliss
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

GreenHall

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1743 on: July 28, 2014, 12:11:11 PM »
Dear Ren,
While I am appreciative that you have registered my objections to your bringing the local wildlife into the house (Read: I screamed like a little girl, startling the cat into dropping her prize/toy, and the giant skink ran and hid under the bookcase.)

Again, I do appreciate, however, I would also appreciate it if you would stop playing Riki-Tiki-Tavi in general, and specifically when it is bedtime and I want you to come in for the night. (I got a broom to sweep the tiny snake off the porch; she followed after it.)

Do you remember the pain, and the house arrest when you managed to get a snake bite before?  I definitely remember the vet bills.  Please stop playing with the snakes!

Love,
She who Feeds

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1744 on: July 28, 2014, 06:43:00 PM »
Dear Coffee Bean,

If you follow me out of the bedroom, it behooves you to follow me back in as well.  I don't really like getting settled in at my computer only to have you realize that I left you in the living room 10 minutes ago and cry at the door.

Love,

Human Mommy

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1745 on: July 28, 2014, 06:53:28 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

I love you, but for the love of fishies and catnip please stop killing birds and discarding their tiny corpses at the backdoor.

Sincerely,

The Staff.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1746 on: July 29, 2014, 11:51:15 AM »
Dear Nazgul,

We are so, so happy that you have finally decided we're not going to kill you and Eat You Raw. Our little skinny wailing wraith has been replaced by a stocky, fluffy, affectionate kitty.

Now please stop trying to rub against my leg while I'm walking.

Love,
The Scritcher of Cheeks
Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1747 on: July 29, 2014, 08:50:10 PM »
Dear Lily,

You are clearly picking up bad habits from the kitten.

I have it on quite good authority that it is not nearly as amusing as you think it is to taunt the dogs. Especially when it is the wee poodle who has a bark that can leave ears ringing and is apparently convinced she must constantly use said bark while jumping up to try and play with your outstretched smackin' paw. Then again, I'm sure it would help if you kept your own yells of indignant rage to yourself, little miss anger incarnate.

And no, you're not getting fed the gooshy, you've got perfectly good kibble. I don't care if you think you're starving because you had to exert yourself to smack wee poodle.

Dear Sophie,

So help me deity, I am going to figure out a way to close off my pantry. It's bad enough you sit on the shelves now, but dragging the packet of catnip-flavor treats out and trying to chew it open? That is not on. That is so not on. Desist, kitten.

Sigh,
the Not-Furry One.
~I'm just standing with you, in the darkness between battles~


greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1748 on: July 29, 2014, 09:23:44 PM »
Dear Lily,

You are clearly picking up bad habits from the kitten.

I have it on quite good authority that it is not nearly as amusing as you think it is to taunt the dogs. Especially when it is the wee poodle who has a bark that can leave ears ringing and is apparently convinced she must constantly use said bark while jumping up to try and play with your outstretched smackin' paw. Then again, I'm sure it would help if you kept your own yells of indignant rage to yourself, little miss anger incarnate.

And no, you're not getting fed the gooshy, you've got perfectly good kibble. I don't care if you think you're starving because you had to exert yourself to smack wee poodle.

Dear Sophie,

So help me deity, I am going to figure out a way to close off my pantry. It's bad enough you sit on the shelves now, but dragging the packet of catnip-flavor treats out and trying to chew it open? That is not on. That is so not on. Desist, kitten.

Sigh,
the Not-Furry One.

Dear Sophie,

Our human started storing anything catnip-containing in the refrigerator after we were successful in opening the packages on our own.  It is best to sneak away with the packages and hide them so the human just thinks she already used the package and forgot about it.

Love,

The menagerie

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1749 on: July 30, 2014, 09:11:25 PM »
Dear Mocha,

The manicure and pedicure were necessary as you were sticking to the furniture and the floor. Your boneless act, looks of rage and droopy ears notwithstanding, you survived. And you no longer stick to things!

Love,

Mom

PS: Readers might be interested to know that Mocha completely lost her cattitude during the mani/pedi, but regained it within 10 minutes.

Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1750 on: July 30, 2014, 10:29:01 PM »
Dear Salem

It was actually a real, live bird stuck in the wood heater, not a special ultra-live reality show with 3D tactile involvement.

I'm glad the poor little thing managed to fly out without being ambushed.  It was frightened and panicky, and probably hungry and thirsty too - it had been stuck in the flue for two days, and it took another day before it finally ventured out of the box.  You yowling at it didn't help.

Fortunately I caught it before you did, and Birdy made a clean getaway when I took it outside.

Love

Your spoil-sport Mum

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1751 on: July 31, 2014, 04:10:29 AM »
Dear Stephen,

Believe it or not, the room we just refurbished was not intentionally made cat-paradise. Certain rules need to be observed.

1) Stop jumping on the new furniture and skidding backwards. You can get up some speed, but your claw stops are not helping the finish. We know this is deliberate: even though you wait until our backs are turned, we can hear you. (Just as you can hear us coming so we keep finding you six feet away looking innocent).
2) This is a cupboard, not a launchpad for dive-bomb attacks. From eight feet up.
3) You worked out push openers. Congratulations. Please stop opening all the cupboards. At 3.a.m. Because you're bored.
3b) And don't shut your sister in one again, either. She's not as bright as you, and the wailing was unearthly. Guarding the cupboard you shut her, by leaning on the door, in is also not funny (well, not at 2am).

Regards,
Mummy.

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1752 on: July 31, 2014, 05:48:42 AM »

1) Stop jumping on the new furniture and skidding backwards. You can get up some speed, but your claw stops are not helping the finish. We know this is deliberate: even though you wait until our backs are turned, we can hear you. (Just as you can hear us coming so we keep finding you six feet away looking innocent).


When the Demons were growing into being tall and lanky, they went through a phase were they'd go into the bedroom, then race down the hallway and leap onto the mat in the loungeroom door so they could slide along and crash into the tv cabinet. They trained the Humans to give them a light scolding and reset the mats, and then they'd do it again.

This went on for some hours before they were rumbled.

Fliss
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

gingerzing

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1753 on: July 31, 2014, 09:19:08 AM »
Catsitting this week for two different friends who are at meetings.

Dear Annie Oakley -
You are spoilt, but I love that you want snuggles from me.  But stop opening cupboard doors in the two bathrooms and now in the kitchen.  The treats are kept in a drawer not the cupboards. 
And no, you are NOT allowed human food.  My mac and cheese is off limits. 
Love -
Aunty Ginger


Dear Ruby (the well known hisser of all things) -
Oh, so NOW I am okay.   I was concerned the first night when you wouldn't let me even pick up the feather wand without hissing at me.  Uour mom left out for me because she knows you like it. 
I have been watching you for several years, I know all your tricks now.  You can rub against me, but I am not going to pet you since you throw a hissy fit when I gently put my hand down. 
I was happy to report to your mom last night (2nd night) that you were much nicer and had eaten ALL your canned food and most of the dry food.  Made her very happy.  I will be letter her know how I added a teaspoon of water to keep it moister longer AND sprinkled with a tiny bit of nip.  Because she is worried that you aren't eating this new food that the vet gave you. 
Silly girl.  Mom loves you much and will give you many snuggles tonight. 
The not-the-momma

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1754 on: August 02, 2014, 06:39:40 PM »
Domino, I know you are getting old.  I know you have Issues.  But darn it, this is the third pee deposit I've cleaned up today!

(According to the vet, Domino is remarkably healthy for a cat that is almost 18 years old.  However, he is high-strung to the point of neurosis, and expresses it by spraying.  Most of the time I can control it by keeping the litter boxes very clean, keeping absorbent materials off the floor, and using a Feliway dispenser.  At least one deposit, possibly two are probably due to the Feliway running out.  The third looked pretty old.  Still, his emotional problems seem to be getting worse.  It makes me wonder how badly the house smells.   :-[   )