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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 682236 times)

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Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1740 on: July 31, 2014, 04:48:42 AM »

1) Stop jumping on the new furniture and skidding backwards. You can get up some speed, but your claw stops are not helping the finish. We know this is deliberate: even though you wait until our backs are turned, we can hear you. (Just as you can hear us coming so we keep finding you six feet away looking innocent).


When the Demons were growing into being tall and lanky, they went through a phase were they'd go into the bedroom, then race down the hallway and leap onto the mat in the loungeroom door so they could slide along and crash into the tv cabinet. They trained the Humans to give them a light scolding and reset the mats, and then they'd do it again.

This went on for some hours before they were rumbled.

Fliss
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

gingerzing

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1741 on: July 31, 2014, 08:19:08 AM »
Catsitting this week for two different friends who are at meetings.

Dear Annie Oakley -
You are spoilt, but I love that you want snuggles from me.  But stop opening cupboard doors in the two bathrooms and now in the kitchen.  The treats are kept in a drawer not the cupboards. 
And no, you are NOT allowed human food.  My mac and cheese is off limits. 
Love -
Aunty Ginger


Dear Ruby (the well known hisser of all things) -
Oh, so NOW I am okay.   I was concerned the first night when you wouldn't let me even pick up the feather wand without hissing at me.  Uour mom left out for me because she knows you like it. 
I have been watching you for several years, I know all your tricks now.  You can rub against me, but I am not going to pet you since you throw a hissy fit when I gently put my hand down. 
I was happy to report to your mom last night (2nd night) that you were much nicer and had eaten ALL your canned food and most of the dry food.  Made her very happy.  I will be letter her know how I added a teaspoon of water to keep it moister longer AND sprinkled with a tiny bit of nip.  Because she is worried that you aren't eating this new food that the vet gave you. 
Silly girl.  Mom loves you much and will give you many snuggles tonight. 
The not-the-momma

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1742 on: August 02, 2014, 05:39:40 PM »
Domino, I know you are getting old.  I know you have Issues.  But darn it, this is the third pee deposit I've cleaned up today!

(According to the vet, Domino is remarkably healthy for a cat that is almost 18 years old.  However, he is high-strung to the point of neurosis, and expresses it by spraying.  Most of the time I can control it by keeping the litter boxes very clean, keeping absorbent materials off the floor, and using a Feliway dispenser.  At least one deposit, possibly two are probably due to the Feliway running out.  The third looked pretty old.  Still, his emotional problems seem to be getting worse.  It makes me wonder how badly the house smells.   :-[   )

PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1743 on: August 04, 2014, 05:26:36 PM »
The following complaint has been noted and filed in the proper location  ::)

Thank you,

The Staff


"Deer hoomins of the interwebs,     
It is I Gretchen.  I haz come to yoo on behaf of my frendz Zoe and Grace.  We is not geeting the attenshun that wee needs and would lik to air our objec- afllic- complaints against da mama.  We haz the following complaints:
Itís hot
Iím tired
I wanna go out
Itís too hot outside
I wanna go out
What is that noiz?
DOGS!
CRUD MONKEYS! WE IS DED!
I wanna go out
I wanna come back in
Ooh a fly
I wanna come back in
I iz hangry
Why wonít you feed me
EWWW FISH AGAIN
WE IS STARVING TO DED!
Zoe is eating before me
Gretchen pushed me out of the way
Iz this all da food?
I iz thirsty
Move Grace
I want you to pet me
Stop petting me
I want you to pet me
Mom Stop!
I want to lay on the bed
No, I want to lay on the bed
How come there is no room for me
MOM, SHE TOUCHED MY TAIL!
Why are you going upstairs?
Can I haz peepl food?
I wanna go outside
Why are you moving again?
Fine Iím going to go and sleep in da cat bed
Are you noticing me?
PAY ATTENSHUN TO MEEEEEE!

We haz tried for furever to get da mama to pay attenshun to us. Pleez help, we is dieing of attenshun starvashun.
Gretchen, Grace, and Zoe"
 

blue2000

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1744 on: August 04, 2014, 06:19:56 PM »
I just about snorted at "She touched my tail!" My two play that game as well. :P
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1745 on: August 04, 2014, 10:18:08 PM »
Dear Xena,

I think your offspring are well and truly weaned now.  Lynx doesn't even try to nurse on me anymore.  Please and kindly stop being mean to them when they try to be friendly.  I am tired of the hissy-slappy noises.  Just be glad I got you spayed so we don't have to go through that again.

Love,

The human you foisted all your offspring off on.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1746 on: August 05, 2014, 04:26:46 AM »
Dear Stephen,

Mommy has to go out. Why is it only when I have to go out that you decide you are a lapcat?

Likewise, please tell your sister to stop stealing and sleeping on my front door keys. I know you love me, but I do have to go to work to feed your greedy gullets. It's a hard choice, but you have to make it: tickles or food.

Regards,
Mommy

P.S. Stephen, both is not an answer. Matilda, you can't live on air and tickles alone.

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1747 on: August 07, 2014, 05:36:40 PM »
Dear Redford and Mr. Kitty,

The wrestling matches in the foyer have got to stop.

PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1748 on: August 07, 2014, 05:47:14 PM »
Dear Redford and Mr. Kitty,

The wrestling matches in the foyer have got to stop.

Thunder THUNDER THUNDER CATS!

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1749 on: August 07, 2014, 08:36:53 PM »
Dear Redford and Mr. Kitty,

The wrestling matches in the foyer have got to stop.

Thunder THUNDER THUNDER CATS!

 ;D

gingerzing

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1750 on: August 08, 2014, 12:13:10 PM »
Dear Cats  (though I think it is probably more to Darcy the Petite)

You are no longer allowed in the back bedroom.  At least not unsupervised.  The yak attack that covered not just one section of the bed but two large sections of a full size bed is destressing.  Besides that you got sick, but how is your little stomach able to hold THAT much? 
Oh and when you do yak, please stop telling the Sadie-dog. Because really that is just yucky as well. 

Love
The Momma

*Note, our Darcy cat has always had a bit of an issue.  Not really acid reflux but sort of.  She is healthy, just barfy sometimes.

Craftyone

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1751 on: August 08, 2014, 06:27:06 PM »
Dear Coco
Thank you for listening to mum and not doing the psycho kitty run at 12:11am again this morning.  You understood my threat of turning you into a handbag, even though you know this is an idle threat and in reality you've got mum & dad wrapped around your little paws  ;D.

Saving it until 4:40am this morning is appreciated but why didn't you do that on the nights that mum and dad have to get up for work (I get up at 6am so, for me, being woken at 5am isn't as bad as being woken half way through the night and having an interrupted night's sleep).



atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1752 on: August 28, 2014, 02:53:47 AM »
Dear Matilda.

I would like to remind you that you are a cat. While I know cats will sample anything unguarded, this tea-thieving has now reached the point where you stuck your head in your Dad's tea cup while he was holding it (and gave him a shock when he tried to drink it). You've even developed discerning tastes. While the expression when tea is not to your taste is amusing I'm not supposed to know my cat takes tea, far less that she takes it milk, two sugars.

But tea and scones? Really? Most cats steal the cream and leave the licked scone behind. Stealing and eating the scone and leaving the cream in a sad, white, pat on the carpet? It did take me a moment to work out what it was, and a lot longer to clean it up.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but please eat your 'kills'.

Regards,
She-who-makes-tea

gingerzing

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1753 on: August 28, 2014, 07:57:23 AM »
Dear Darcy-cat,
For a very picky eater, you are very weird. 
I come to expect that the dog will eat basically anything except green beans and most green vegetables. 
That your feline sister is practically a dog and will eat most meats and even popcorn and bread.
But since you turn up your nose at most red meats and even occasional chicken.  (Loves most fish) You can understand why I was a bit weirded out when I dropped a spinach leaf and you ate it. 


Love
The momma/feeder person


Dear Rosie-cat,
I am glad that DH and you have mended your rift from earlier this week.   
Here's a nifty idea to keep in mind when jumping around. 
When jumping around the chairs like a crazy cat, watch to make sure that it is the arm rest of the chair and not a human's arm resting. 
You have all your claws and DH was not happy with the huge scratch you left on him.  And I wasn't happen having to run around and get all Florence Nightingale to keep the from getting infected. 

Love
The momma who saved your skin this time.

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1754 on: August 28, 2014, 09:56:26 AM »
Dear Ciaran-cat,

I wish you to take note: You are not sneaky. In the least. Your attempts to be sneaky however do make me laugh.

Sincerely,

Mama