S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Jack,

It's adorable how much you look like Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon. But please try to remember that technically, your name is more like Toothful.

Signed,
Your pillow/snack.

[happygrrl]

Dearest purring mounds of cathair--

Seriously, what gives? I have bought you all $300 worth of cat toys and you insist on hockey-pucking a dried turd down the hall and into the kitchen when we have company. I'll give you some major props for originality, but your timing stinks. And what's up with sleeping in the bathroom sink? Between the 3 of you, you have 8 cat beds (and some that are heated). Why the cold marble sink? And then you get mad when I need to brush my teeth; do you want me to use your water bowl?

With much love from your humble servant (who also wants to lead a mob with torches and pitchforks  )

[LeeLee88]

Dearest purring mounds of cathair--

Seriously, what gives? I have bought you all $300 worth of cat toys and you insist on hockey-pucking a dried turd down the hall and into the kitchen when we have company. I'll give you some major props for originality, but your timing stinks. And what's up with sleeping in the bathroom sink? Between the 3 of you, you have 8 cat beds (and some that are heated). Why the cold marble sink? And then you get mad when I need to brush my teeth; do you want me to use your water bowl?

With much love from your humble servant (who also wants to lead a mob with torches and pitchforks  )

YES!!!  Thank you!  The same exact thing happened to us when our brand-new neighbors first came over to check out the house.  And there was Chaz and Bandita (aka Meep-Meep and Hoss, aka Chairman and Chairwoman Whiskers) playing with an old turd that I still, to this very day, do not know where it came from.  And it looked a little large to have come from them.  Must have been ghosts.   

[Outdoor Girl]

Ack!  At least my Tuffy's favourite skid across the floor toy was a peach pit, not a turd!

Several years after Tuffy died, we were replacing the stove.  When we pulled the old one out, there were 2 or 3 peach pits under there.

[mechtilde]

Horace- the marble on the stairs routine in the middle of the night has got to stop.

[bluhairfreak]

Dear Carrie
    Why did you decide I suddenly needed a bath at 8am while I was trying to sleep and start licking my face.  I love you baby girl, but I assure you I am capable of cleaning myself.

[stargazer]

Smokey,

We JUST had a talk about not throwing up on the carpet.  And I mean just.  That did not mean instead you should toss a hairball onto your favorite chair and not tell me until I find it this morning.  How am I supposed to clean that up, huh?  Mommy is not amused.  I am also sorry for yelling at you this morning, but peeing on my clothes is not, and never will be, acceptable.  I thought you were just finding a comfy spot to spend the day until I noticed the tail being lifted slightly.  That is why you were put outside (for all of the 10 minutes after I felt guilty).  I cleaned both litterboxes.  Again.  Happy now? 

Mouse never gives us these problems, you know.

[BluePuppy]

Dear Satine:

I know you are a rescue cat and really dependent on affection and reinforcement from your mom, and her skipping town for that business conference is being really hard on you. She knows it too, which is why she asked me to sleep over while I cat-sit.

I know I had to go out last night but I promise I'll make it up to you with extra cuddles and will wear a thick top so you can sit on my chest and knead to your heart's content. But please don't spend another night sitting outside the bedroom door wailing like you're stuck in a bear-trap. Your mom's already told me you're not allowed in there anyway.

With love
BluePuppy

[soetkin]

Dear Weird White Woobie,

You've been sleeping at the footend of my bed for about four years now, you KNOW I move my feet a lot in my sleep so you KNOW if you lie within toe reach, your belly will be rubbed and you hate that. So really there was NO reason at all to bite my big toe so hard. It bled, you know.

I still love you but kinda don't like you right now.

[MMHou]

Dear Silly Maddie,

You're a dog, not a flower. Please stop sleeping in my newly-planted flower beds. You smush the flowers and come in the house smelling like mulch. I still love you, though.

[Snooks]

When I'm looking for a pair of socks in my top dresser drawer Minnie likes to sit on top of the dresser and do a "Snoopy-vulture" pose with her nose down lower than the top of the dresser.  I just know that one time she's going to fall into the drawer. 

She once fell asleep on top of a box next to a trash can, rolled over, and fell into the trash can.  Mr. Sirius and I were terrible - we laughed as he fished her out of the trash can.  She had this bewildered look on her face like "What happened?"

Our old cat Buster fell off the back of the sofa (more than once) then sulked when we laughed at him (it didn't get any less funny).

[Germane Jackson]

LOL I always feel a little guilty when I laugh at Mazie for falling off the couch or shelf. He gives me that look too like it was somehow my fault.

[Craftyone]

Just had our purr kid want to go outside for her morning ablutions (she has a kitty litter tray but prefers outside if possible).  Now she's not a small cat, medium size, and there were some doves outside eating our woof kid's leftover biscuits (from his dinner last night).  These birds were half her size, and I don't want her stalking or killing them, but she was scared to go outside while they were near the door, she wouldn't just walk past them.  Of course they flew away as soon as they saw someone at the door and she quickly raced outside down to the back of the backyard.  It was funny to see, since as far as I know they've never attacked her.  Our woof kid will stand back and let the doves eat his biscuit and look at us as if to say mum/dad do something the mean & nasty birds are eating my biscuits.  They fly off if he gets too close.  This is the same dog who will chase them if he sees them in the backyard as it's fun to see them scatter.   

[LadyL]

Dear Samberton,

I know from your wild eyes and tail whipping back and forth that you would REALLY like to go hunt those birds in the tree. I'm sorry we can't let you because you're an indoor cat, but please don't take it out on me by hunting ME instead.

Signed,

Mom

[blue2000]

Dear Pris,

I know you love to play. And it is amusing to see you gallop through the house like a dog, rather than run like the cat that you are.

But then you jumped on the window ledge and slammed your paws into the window. If it was open you would have been flying through. It is bad enough to clean nose and paw prints off the window. I don't want to have to pick up bits of you off the lawn. OK?

Love, your worried Mommy.