Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 199048 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #615 on: March 07, 2012, 05:44:38 AM »
Dear Shadow,

My sister did tell me a few hours ago that you are wont to come scratch at her door to let your kids (sister's neighbors) know to let you back in their house.  I did not think that would happen at 3:40am.  You scared the living crap out of me when you scratched at the door.  My nerves are already frayed...but I will still give you scritches if I see you in the future.

Love,
Your neighbor's sister
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #616 on: March 07, 2012, 12:06:34 PM »
Dear Jack,

It was so sweet this morning, how you walked up to me, rubbed your cheek against my shin, circled and stroked my ankles, sniffed my toes, then ever-so-daintily bit the top of my foot.

This is how you earned your full name, you know - Princess Jack the Buttheaded.

Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

MerryCat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #617 on: March 07, 2012, 12:08:01 PM »
Dear Cassie,

Yes, it's a new flavor of cat food. Yes, it's even a whole different brand than you've ever had before. But I promise you, it's not poison. See how Mitten scarfs it down? It doesn't seem to be doing her any harm, now does it? I know you're hungry, baby girl, so please eat. It's good for you. I promise.

peach2play

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #618 on: March 07, 2012, 01:22:10 PM »
Dear Yuki,

You go to the vet for the cone of shame tomorrow (getting spayed, but every cat I've ever had always looks ashamed to be wearing the cone).  Please do not be too angry with Mommy.  She's doing it for your own good and for her sanity at 3AM when you are howling for a man. 

Dear Midnight, Shadow and Lyoko,

Do not tease your sister about the cone or Mommy will make you wear one too. 

Love,
Mommy

Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #619 on: March 07, 2012, 04:53:27 PM »
Dear Carmen,

Guinevere is very elderly at almost 20 years old.  You are a little whippersnapper of 3.  Leave her alone because she deserves peace and quiet.  Especially at 3AM.

The bed is big enough for all four of us and you would be welcome to sleep there if that is what you would do.  But you need to learn respect for your elders first. 

Is that why you're sleeping on my clean laundry?



Your Momcat

DistantStar

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #620 on: March 07, 2012, 08:08:05 PM »
Dear Sapphire,

I must apologize for the shove off the bed I gave you in the middle of the night; yes, I know that hideous hork is out of your control but I don't want you producing whatever's coming out on my your bed either.  I must thank you for not doing so right where I put my feet on the floor first thing in the morning before I find my slippers.  I truly appreciate this!

Seriously...eww.  Horking in the wee hours.  Bleah.

LadyJaneinMD

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #621 on: March 08, 2012, 09:35:45 AM »
Now, Misty is just into cultural diversity!

 ;D ;D ;D

At least her eccentricity doesn't make a mess, like some of the other cats here  ;D.  We actually call her the "Cog"-the cat who thinks she's a dog.

My friend called her cat a "puppy cat" for the very same reason. 

LadyJaneinMD

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #622 on: March 08, 2012, 09:41:42 AM »
Dear Princess Rita, great furry love of my life,

You've lived with me 6 years, ever since I got you out of the shelter.  You rule my life with an Iron Paw, but you really need to learn that when the alarm goes off at 4am, limbs WILL flail, and you WILL be knocked off the bed where you are watching me sleep peacefully.  It's best that you learn to move very fast when that alarm goes off!

And let me explain this again:   The little bag is YOUR treats.  The big bag is MY treats (dried apricots).  I know they have the same form and the same crinkle, and I even let you sniff one of MY treats, but you still looked shocked and horrified when I popped one into my mouth.  They are not your treats!  You didn't like them! I gave you some of yours, and still you got all upset when  you saw me eating out of the bag.   
*sigh* Okay. I'll put them in a bowl next time.

Your staff

peach2play

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #623 on: March 09, 2012, 08:41:01 AM »
Dear Shadow,

My water cup is not your 3 water bowls, the sink or your water fountain.  Mommy doesn't have to share her water and it tastes the same as the water bowl I just put on the floor, ice cubes and all.  Now your little sister has stolen my straw and I have to go get another one.  Please use your own water bowl.

Dear Midnight,

I know you don't like the harness, but none of your siblings get to go outside for a walk.  Please don't give me the glare of death when I put it on you.  You gained two pounds during the two months of hell, and Mommy is trying to keep you from getting sick and cutting short your lifespan.  You do get really excited once we are outside and you can explore and Mommy appreciates the lovins you give me.

Your Mommy

mechtilde

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #624 on: March 09, 2012, 02:24:29 PM »
Please keep your tail out of the butter. Please.
NE England

MonteCristo

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #625 on: March 12, 2012, 10:06:03 AM »
Dear Alexei & Lyla,

I realize that my ostrich feather duster is the closest thing to a bird that you or Sydney (the dog) have ever seen.  However, it is not for playing...I'm actually trying to clean the house.  It was one thing when you figured out how to get on top the refrigerator and dragged the duster to the bedrooms to play with...it was a whole other story when you managed to get inside the kitchen cabinets and steal the duster, then dropped it down to Sydney.  If I had wanted an ostrich assassinated in my kitchen I would have let you know.  If anything happens to the new duster, I will hold you responsible.

Your frustrated mommy

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #626 on: March 12, 2012, 10:14:26 AM »
Quote
If I had wanted an ostrich assassinated in my kitchen I would have let you know.
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Amara

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #627 on: March 12, 2012, 06:23:26 PM »
Dear Mommy,

You have no idea how much danger you were in. We saved you from the most horrible things that could ever happen when you bring an ostrich into the house. You are most welcome, by the way. Now please learn about dangers before you bring home dangerous animals. But since you are human and prone to forgetting don't worry too much. We are happy to take on the role of protector and will fiercely defend you against any and all dusters predators.

Alexei & Lyla

WhiteTigerCub

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #628 on: March 12, 2012, 06:29:16 PM »
Dear Fuzzy,

I know you love that new puppy play toy thingie and you have done very well at not clawing her when she tackles you to the ground and then proceeds to lick you within an inch of your life, but please for all kitty dignity and to teach the puppy that it is not ok to tackle the other kitties in the house, please give her a few hard swats and then move away from her play space so she doesn't tackle you again. Kitties are not supposed to let puppies tackle them and like it!

The Referee

Arizona

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #629 on: March 12, 2012, 06:50:31 PM »
Dear Fuzzy,

I know you love that new puppy play toy thingie and you have done very well at not clawing her when she tackles you to the ground and then proceeds to lick you within an inch of your life, but please for all kitty dignity and to teach the puppy that it is not ok to tackle the other kitties in the house, please give her a few hard swats and then move away from her play space so she doesn't tackle you again. Kitties are not supposed to let puppies tackle them and like it!

The Referee

Dear Referee,

Do not worry. Is all part of master plan. Lure evil dog-creature in by making it think kitties are good. Kitties are nice. Kitties are fun to play with.

Once secondary objective is reached, primary objective will come into play. Puppy will rue the day it thought kitties were nice when all of us attack at once! We will send the dog running! He will not know what is happening! Kitties rule!

Your overlord,
Fuzzy
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn