S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[Midnight Kitty]

Dear Misty:

Someone needs to remind your dim self that you are a Feline, species Domestic House Cat.  Cats don't bring their toys up to Humans, mrowr, and wait expectantly to play "fetch".  That is a dog's game.

It's even more embarrassing when you corner a visitor with your mousie, and I have to explain that you want her to play fetch  .

Love,
the fetch-playing staff

Our original kitty, Spooky, loved to play fetch* with whole pecans in the shell.  They bounce crazy like a football and fit in her little mouth.  She was so cute when she crouched at our feet, wiggling her little butt, waiting to chase the pecan.


*I know it looks like "fetch," the game that dogs play, but that is not the same game that cats play.  The cat game is "throw it for me so I can chase it."  The "fetching" part is the cat telling the human to throw it again.  The difference is in how the game ends.  For dogs, the game ends when the human gets tired of throwing and holds onto the toy/object being thrown.  For cats, the game ends when they watch their human throw the object, look up at their human as if to say, "Nice toss," then saunter off.

[blue2000]

Dear Pris,

My mommy says if I keep yowling, no more tasty yogurt which is the bestest ever.  She's so mean, but I've been very quiet because she would.

Yuki

Yuki,

Wow. That IS mean! My mama gives me treats. She says I can't yowl with my mouth full, hehe.

Pris

[blue2000]

Dear Misty:

Someone needs to remind your dim self that you are a Feline, species Domestic House Cat.  Cats don't bring their toys up to Humans, mrowr, and wait expectantly to play "fetch".  That is a dog's game.

It's even more embarrassing when you corner a visitor with your mousie, and I have to explain that you want her to play fetch  .

Love,
the fetch-playing staff

Our original kitty, Spooky, loved to play fetch* with whole pecans in the shell.  They bounce crazy like a football and fit in her little mouth.  She was so cute when she crouched at our feet, wiggling her little butt, waiting to chase the pecan.


*I know it looks like "fetch," the game that dogs play, but that is not the same game that cats play.  The cat game is "throw it for me so I can chase it."  The "fetching" part is the cat telling the human to throw it again.  The difference is in how the game ends.  For dogs, the game ends when the human gets tired of throwing and holds onto the toy/object being thrown.  For cats, the game ends when they watch their human throw the object, look up at their human as if to say, "Nice toss," then saunter off.

My younger kitty plays 'kitten tennis'. If you throw it at him, he will hit the ball back to you with his paw, and you have to run and get it and throw it again. If he is tired of the game, sometimes he will simply keep the ball. So I suppose it is kind of like fetch in reverse.

Yes, my cats have me well-trained.

[Mental Magpie]

Dear Shadow,

My sister did tell me a few hours ago that you are wont to come scratch at her door to let your kids (sister's neighbors) know to let you back in their house.  I did not think that would happen at 3:40am.  You scared the living crap out of me when you scratched at the door.  My nerves are already frayed...but I will still give you scritches if I see you in the future.

Love,
Your neighbor's sister

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Jack,

It was so sweet this morning, how you walked up to me, rubbed your cheek against my shin, circled and stroked my ankles, sniffed my toes, then ever-so-daintily bit the top of my foot.

This is how you earned your full name, you know - Princess Jack the Buttheaded.

[MerryCat]

Dear Cassie,

Yes, it's a new flavor of cat food. Yes, it's even a whole different brand than you've ever had before. But I promise you, it's not poison. See how Mitten scarfs it down? It doesn't seem to be doing her any harm, now does it? I know you're hungry, baby girl, so please eat. It's good for you. I promise.

[peach2play]

Dear Yuki,

You go to the vet for the cone of shame tomorrow (getting spayed, but every cat I've ever had always looks ashamed to be wearing the cone).  Please do not be too angry with Mommy.  She's doing it for your own good and for her sanity at 3AM when you are howling for a man. 

Dear Midnight, Shadow and Lyoko,

Do not tease your sister about the cone or Mommy will make you wear one too. 

Love,
Mommy

[Venus193]

Dear Carmen,

Guinevere is very elderly at almost 20 years old.  You are a little whippersnapper of 3.  Leave her alone because she deserves peace and quiet.  Especially at 3AM.

The bed is big enough for all four of us and you would be welcome to sleep there if that is what you would do.  But you need to learn respect for your elders first. 

Is that why you're sleeping on my clean laundry?



Your Momcat

[DistantStar]

Dear Sapphire,

I must apologize for the shove off the bed I gave you in the middle of the night; yes, I know that hideous hork is out of your control but I don't want you producing whatever's coming out on my your bed either.  I must thank you for not doing so right where I put my feet on the floor first thing in the morning before I find my slippers.  I truly appreciate this!

Seriously...eww.  Horking in the wee hours.  Bleah.

[LadyJaneinMD]

Now, Misty is just into cultural diversity!

 

At least her eccentricity doesn't make a mess, like some of the other cats here  .  We actually call her the "Cog"-the cat who thinks she's a dog.

My friend called her cat a "puppy cat" for the very same reason. 

[LadyJaneinMD]

Dear Princess Rita, great furry love of my life,

You've lived with me 6 years, ever since I got you out of the shelter.  You rule my life with an Iron Paw, but you really need to learn that when the alarm goes off at 4am, limbs WILL flail, and you WILL be knocked off the bed where you are watching me sleep peacefully.  It's best that you learn to move very fast when that alarm goes off!

And let me explain this again:   The little bag is YOUR treats.  The big bag is MY treats (dried apricots).  I know they have the same form and the same crinkle, and I even let you sniff one of MY treats, but you still looked shocked and horrified when I popped one into my mouth.  They are not your treats!  You didn't like them! I gave you some of yours, and still you got all upset when  you saw me eating out of the bag.   
*sigh* Okay. I'll put them in a bowl next time.

Your staff

[peach2play]

Dear Shadow,

My water cup is not your 3 water bowls, the sink or your water fountain.  Mommy doesn't have to share her water and it tastes the same as the water bowl I just put on the floor, ice cubes and all.  Now your little sister has stolen my straw and I have to go get another one.  Please use your own water bowl.

Dear Midnight,

I know you don't like the harness, but none of your siblings get to go outside for a walk.  Please don't give me the glare of death when I put it on you.  You gained two pounds during the two months of hell, and Mommy is trying to keep you from getting sick and cutting short your lifespan.  You do get really excited once we are outside and you can explore and Mommy appreciates the lovins you give me.

Your Mommy

[mechtilde]

Please keep your tail out of the butter. Please.

[MonteCristo]

Dear Alexei & Lyla,

I realize that my ostrich feather duster is the closest thing to a bird that you or Sydney (the dog) have ever seen.  However, it is not for playing...I'm actually trying to clean the house.  It was one thing when you figured out how to get on top the refrigerator and dragged the duster to the bedrooms to play with...it was a whole other story when you managed to get inside the kitchen cabinets and steal the duster, then dropped it down to Sydney.  If I had wanted an ostrich assassinated in my kitchen I would have let you know.  If anything happens to the new duster, I will hold you responsible.

Your frustrated mommy

[Elfmama]

If I had wanted an ostrich assassinated in my kitchen I would have let you know.