A) You are absolutely not allowed outside. I know I let Princess out, but that's because she avoids cars like the plague and comes when I call her to come back in. Stop crying in your loud Siamese voice to be released into the wild - it's just not happening.
B) Although the other dog loved you and let you roll all over her, she does not live here anymore. The current canine is kind of afraid of cats because Princess terrorized him when he was a puppy, and I also think he remembers you sinking all four paws full of claws and your teeth into his tail when he was sleeping, so he REALLY doesn't want to have anything to do with you. Rolling on the floor at his feet just makes him look sad and confused. Really, seriously, he's not going to give you a bath or let you chew on his ears like the other dog did.
A) You, too, need to leave the dog alone. Stop eating his food. I know it smells like salmon but it's not cat food. Definitely stop guarding the water bowl from him. You couldn't drink that much water in a month. Also, he doesn't possess the equipment to pet OR feed you, so rubbing yourself against his legs does nothing but make him look sad and confused, because you used to beat him up when he was a puppy.
B) What mad scientist managed to cross cats with sandspurs? You are like the world's most painful Velcro. Stop trying to climb my leg; especially when I'm wearing shorts. Actually, stop trying regardless of what I'm wearing - I don't own the requisite armor to keep your claws from reaching my skin. Tribble can keep his claws out of my skin, so it's not an impossible task.