S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[misha412]

Dear Byakuya and Ruika,

Welcome to our home. I am glad you two are joining our family. It has been awhile since this house has had felines in it. I love you guys even though its only been a bit of time since you came in.

But, we need to talk about the ground rules.

1. The dog was here first. Yes, he is a big slobbery dog. He barks really loudly. He smells like a dog, not a cat. He is not used to cats. Give him a break. He is curious about you two. He will try to put his nose in places it does not belong. Try not to remove his nose when he does this.

2. You guys are doing so good with the litter box. I am proud of you. Please keep up the good work.

3. Since you are only 9 weeks old, we are keeping you confined to a fixed space for your own good. I know you think you already rule the house, but until you are a bit older, you do not get run of the house.

4. When I need to pick you up, do not go running the opposite way. I have a reason for picking you up.

5. Curtains are for covering windows, not for scaling the walls.

Love, your new mommy.

Byakuya,

Please do not hold your sister down and bite into her leg so hard. You make her squeal and she gets mad. You are bigger than her and need to learn your own strength.

Love, Mommy

Rukia,

I know Byakuya is a bit of a bully, but he is your brother. Getting howly and growly at him will only make him worse. Try to have some dignity before you remove his head.

Love, Mommy

[JadeAngel]

Dear Gizmo,

I am making the bed, and yes I know you are sleeping on it, but I was working around you so there's really no call for that kind of language. Next time you spit at me and crawl behind the couch I'm barricading you in there with the cushions.

[MrsVandy]

Dear Jericho,

You went on a routine vet visit. Yes I know you don't do bum stuff, but really you could have handled it better. They had to get out the Hannibal Lecter mask out for you. Now the vet doesn't believe mommy when she swears that you are normally very friendly and nice.

Also swatting at me isn't cool. I know it hot but despite what you think I don't control the weather.
I am glad you like your new food though.

Love Mommy.

[Venus193]

Dear Figaro,

These early morning chases you do with Carmen may be good exercise for you, but please refrain from including the bed in your marathon course.  You scare Mommy and can potentially scratch her.

-- Your food provider

[Lynnv]

Dear Harry,

I know we just bought you a stroller so that we could take you for walks.  And I know you enjoy them and probably consider it part of your duties as Monarch of the Land to make a Royal Progress daily.  But it was up over 100F the last two days, and didn't cool down until about 4 am.  Sitting in the stroller yelling at me is hardly going to make me want to take you out.  And, as I am an (unpaid) servant and not a slave, no matter what you would prefer, you are just going to have to live with it.  And you need to quit yowling at the neighbor's black cats when we walk by them.  They are allowed to be out alone.  You are required to have an entourage.  Get a grip, dude.

Love,
Your Loyal Stroller-Pusher

According to my mom the only thing that proves that DH and I are not crazy cat people is that the stroller was a thrift store one and only cost $10.  We do leash him for his walks, but he won't really walk on a leash.  He does get out and plays up at the park or at the elementary school.   

[JennJenn68]

Dear Mehitabel The Brainless;

I am very sorry that you are now an only cat and may or may not miss your late brother.  (It is impossible to tell because there is such a vacancy inside your skull that it shines out for all the world to see.)  Mommy feels badly about this and has consequently decided to stop locking you in the basement at night.  Mommy, however, is starting to reconsider her position on this issue.  Performing your four a.m. rain dance on my chest and fighting madly with the bed mice (a.k.a. my feet) at five a.m. is not doing a whole lot for my quality of sleep, and I am becoming less well-disposed to your perceived loneliness in consequence.  For pity's sake, cut it out!  Or back to the basement you go, and you won't get any apologies from Mommy... and maybe not any Greenies, either!

Just you wait, Whirling Dervish girl... once school's out, we're searching for kittens.  You'll look back on these days with nostalgia... if your attention span lasts longer than microseconds.  (It doesn't.)

I should have named you "Meatball" instead of "Mehitabel"--it seems appropriate somehow.

Love you anyway, Foolish Feline.

Your Nutrition Dispenser And Jungle Gym

[Midnight Kitty]

<snip> fighting madly with the bed mice (a.k.a. my feet)

LOVE IT! 

[BarensMom]

Misha412, just wanted to say I love your cats' names.  It's rare to find another Bleach fan, at least one who'll admit to it.

[Girlie]

Dear Lucy and Max,

Those are mommy's feet at the end of the bed, not an evil Sheet Monster. Please do not attack them at 3:00am. I would be most obliged.

Love,
Me.

[snowfire]

Dear Smudge,

DH and I were TRYING to have a somewhat nice/romantic dinner tonight for our 25th anniversary.  We were very nice and even gave you a small portion of the beef tenderloin.  Did you have to thank us by horking it up in the hallway during our dessert???

Love,
Mom

(That distinctive *hork* *hork* noise is not conducive to a  relaxed dining experince.  )

[AnnaT]

(That distinctive *hork* *hork* noise is not conducive to a  relaxed dining experince.)

But my god does it make you move fast!  Even at 3am out of a sound sleep!

[blue2000]

(That distinctive *hork* *hork* noise is not conducive to a  relaxed dining experince.)

But my god does it make you move fast!  Even at 3am out of a sound sleep!

It does. Especially if it is right next to your ear. "Umm... sick? SICK! AUGHHHH! Not on the sheets! NOT ON THE SHEETS!!!!"

[Midnight Kitty]

Dear Bootsie;

I just want to thank you for jumping down from the bed to hork on the nice laminate flooring, not on the bed or library books like your dear departed sister, Midnight.  Also, I appreciate that you hork in the doorway/hall where we can find it, not under the bed where we store everything and it will be years before we find it.  Even more, I take responsibility for not giving you the hairball remedy (which you love so much) frequently enough.  I promise to give you more if it will prevent those hairballs.  At least you only hork a hairball once a week or so.  Not like Midnight who vomited frequently, especially towards the end, and for no discernable reason.

You are The Cat now and you're doing a good job!

Mommy

[misha412]

Misha412, just wanted to say I love your cats' names.  It's rare to find another Bleach fan, at least one who'll admit to it.

Yeah. My fiance got me hooked on it. the kittens came with the name of Bob and Rose. While those are nice names, they did not fit their personalities. So, out comes the Bleach reference.

 

[Snooks]

Dear Cat

It is lovely that you want to spend time with us in the morning before we go to work but for goodness sake watch where you're waving your tail.  Cleaning tea off the coffee table, the coaster, the carpet and you is no fun for anyone.

Snooks

P.S The same applies at dinnertime with the glasses