Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 168853 times)

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JadeAngel

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #660 on: June 19, 2012, 09:27:18 PM »
Dear Gizmo,

I am making the bed, and yes I know you are sleeping on it, but I was working around you so there's really no call for that kind of language. Next time you spit at me and crawl behind the couch I'm barricading you in there with the cushions.

MrsVandy

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #661 on: June 19, 2012, 11:26:26 PM »
Dear Jericho,

You went on a routine vet visit. Yes I know you don't do bum stuff, but really you could have handled it better. They had to get out the Hannibal Lecter mask out for you. Now the vet doesn't believe mommy when she swears that you are normally very friendly and nice.

Also swatting at me isn't cool. I know it hot but despite what you think I don't control the weather.
I am glad you like your new food though.

Love Mommy.




Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #662 on: June 20, 2012, 05:50:24 AM »
Dear Figaro,

These early morning chases you do with Carmen may be good exercise for you, but please refrain from including the bed in your marathon course.  You scare Mommy and can potentially scratch her.

-- Your food provider

Lynnv

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #663 on: June 20, 2012, 11:35:27 AM »
Dear Harry,

I know we just bought you a stroller so that we could take you for walks.  And I know you enjoy them and probably consider it part of your duties as Monarch of the Land to make a Royal Progress daily.  But it was up over 100F the last two days, and didn't cool down until about 4 am.  Sitting in the stroller yelling at me is hardly going to make me want to take you out.  And, as I am an (unpaid) servant and not a slave, no matter what you would prefer, you are just going to have to live with it.  And you need to quit yowling at the neighbor's black cats when we walk by them.  They are allowed to be out alone.  You are required to have an entourage.  Get a grip, dude.

Love,
Your Loyal Stroller-Pusher

According to my mom the only thing that proves that DH and I are not crazy cat people is that the stroller was a thrift store one and only cost $10.  We do leash him for his walks, but he won't really walk on a leash.  He does get out and plays up at the park or at the elementary school.   8)
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

JennJenn68

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #664 on: June 20, 2012, 11:48:54 AM »
Dear Mehitabel The Brainless;

I am very sorry that you are now an only cat and may or may not miss your late brother.  (It is impossible to tell because there is such a vacancy inside your skull that it shines out for all the world to see.)  Mommy feels badly about this and has consequently decided to stop locking you in the basement at night.  Mommy, however, is starting to reconsider her position on this issue.  Performing your four a.m. rain dance on my chest and fighting madly with the bed mice (a.k.a. my feet) at five a.m. is not doing a whole lot for my quality of sleep, and I am becoming less well-disposed to your perceived loneliness in consequence.  For pity's sake, cut it out!  Or back to the basement you go, and you won't get any apologies from Mommy... and maybe not any Greenies, either!

Just you wait, Whirling Dervish girl... once school's out, we're searching for kittens.  You'll look back on these days with nostalgia... if your attention span lasts longer than microseconds.  (It doesn't.)

I should have named you "Meatball" instead of "Mehitabel"--it seems appropriate somehow.

Love you anyway, Foolish Feline.

Your Nutrition Dispenser And Jungle Gym

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #665 on: June 20, 2012, 01:17:37 PM »
<snip> fighting madly with the bed mice (a.k.a. my feet)
LOVE IT!  ;D
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

BarensMom

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #666 on: June 20, 2012, 01:38:35 PM »
Misha412, just wanted to say I love your cats' names.  It's rare to find another Bleach fan, at least one who'll admit to it.

Girlie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #667 on: June 20, 2012, 04:01:55 PM »
Dear Lucy and Max,

Those are mommy's feet at the end of the bed, not an evil Sheet Monster. Please do not attack them at 3:00am. I would be most obliged.

Love,
Me.

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #668 on: June 20, 2012, 10:26:43 PM »
Dear Smudge,

DH and I were TRYING to have a somewhat nice/romantic dinner tonight for our 25th anniversary.  We were very nice and even gave you a small portion of the beef tenderloin.  Did you have to thank us by horking it up in the hallway during our dessert???

Love,
Mom

(That distinctive *hork* *hork* noise is not conducive to a  relaxed dining experince.  ::) )

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #669 on: June 21, 2012, 02:44:24 AM »
Quote
(That distinctive *hork* *hork* noise is not conducive to a  relaxed dining experince.)

But my god does it make you move fast!  Even at 3am out of a sound sleep!

blue2000

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #670 on: June 21, 2012, 03:36:20 AM »
Quote
(That distinctive *hork* *hork* noise is not conducive to a  relaxed dining experince.)

But my god does it make you move fast!  Even at 3am out of a sound sleep!

It does. Especially if it is right next to your ear. "Umm... sick? SICK! AUGHHHH! Not on the sheets! NOT ON THE SHEETS!!!!"
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #671 on: June 21, 2012, 01:28:16 PM »
Dear Bootsie;

I just want to thank you for jumping down from the bed to hork on the nice laminate flooring, not on the bed or library books like your dear departed sister, Midnight.  Also, I appreciate that you hork in the doorway/hall where we can find it, not under the bed where we store everything and it will be years before we find it.  Even more, I take responsibility for not giving you the hairball remedy (which you love so much) frequently enough.  I promise to give you more if it will prevent those hairballs.  At least you only hork a hairball once a week or so.  Not like Midnight who vomited frequently, especially towards the end, and for no discernable reason. :'(

You are The Cat now and you're doing a good job!

Mommy
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

misha412

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #672 on: June 21, 2012, 02:42:04 PM »
Misha412, just wanted to say I love your cats' names.  It's rare to find another Bleach fan, at least one who'll admit to it.

Yeah. My fiance got me hooked on it. the kittens came with the name of Bob and Rose. While those are nice names, they did not fit their personalities. So, out comes the Bleach reference.

 ;D

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #673 on: June 21, 2012, 04:20:17 PM »
Dear Cat

It is lovely that you want to spend time with us in the morning before we go to work but for goodness sake watch where you're waving your tail.  Cleaning tea off the coffee table, the coaster, the carpet and you is no fun for anyone.

Snooks

P.S The same applies at dinnertime with the glasses

Sirius

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #674 on: June 21, 2012, 04:37:55 PM »
Dear Matilda,

We are aware of the loose floorboard in the bathroom (after you hid prawns under it) and have filled in the gap under it. This should mean that it is of no further interest to you.

Instead, it means that throughout the day we are intermittently treated to thwap-wappawappawappa as you try out your new musical instrument. Sitting on one end, hooking your claws over the other and pulling up until the claws slip and the floorboard must be fun, from the number of times you do it a day.

However, one of these days you are going to shut your tail under it or the board will break.  Worse, it will catapult you into a wall, or even the BATH. So shutting you out is in your own best interests, and we are not torturing you.

Regards,
The staff

P.S. Stephen, that door is closed to keep your sister out, not because there is anything interesting behind it. Please stop opening it and letting her back in.

When we first moved to this apartment we had an elderly cat named Vega who discovered that the springy doorstops were the best toy ever.  It was quite annoying to be awakened by THOINGGGGG!!!  THOINGGGGG!!! THOINGGGGG!!! at 2 a.m. (and no, she didn't stop with three THOINGGGGGs.)  Fortunately, the cats we have now have no interest in playing with the springy doorstops.