A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

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Dear Mouse,

I'm sure you did not understand and it was scary.  But did you have to cry the ENTIRE time we were gone to get you a microchip?  If you insist on getting outside, you get a chip.  Period.  But you did your best to break my and your dad's hearts with your scared crying.  Please try to not be such a wimp.

Dear Gizmo,

I know, stairs right? They're so awesome!! You can gallop up, and then down, and then up, and then down, and then halfway up, and then halfway down, and do a spin or two on the second landing and then back to the top and gallop to the bottom! Hours of entertainment! Why don't we have these at home?

Because you sound like a herd of buffalo on rollerskates and I'm really hoping you're going to get tired soon... please?



I'm loving the recent posts and recognising Oscar in a couple of them (he lives to 'surf' the bathmat when I'm in the shower and galumphs across the bed with a wired look on his face).

Dear Oscar

I know I call you my little man, but you're not really little are you?  I'm so sorry I laughed when you made a break for it and discovered you couldn't get your bulk through the wrought iron gates but the sudden screeching halt was hilarious (and I did check afterwards to make sure everything was still in its rightful place on your face).  Again, and for the record, you are an inside cat - you have always been an inside cat - you have a predilication for lying in front of the glass doors and sunning your butt - you are a floofy indoor cat who couldn't cope with the mean outdoors.  Stop trying to escape!!!

She who sets the bathmat up closer to the door than the wall so that you get a longer skid...

Dear Princess,

I closed the bedroom door for a reason.  That reason being that when you were granted the privilege of bedroom access, you spent the night attempting to take over my pillow, and when that failed, you switched to sleeping on my head.  As I have a natural dislike for the sensation of suffocating, that is simply unacceptable.  Additionally, you kept waking me up when you hissed at the Moose.  He was mostly just laying there asleep, and looked rather puzzled at your belligerence. 

The actual owner of the bed.

Dear actual owner of the bed toiler of tasks and feline slave:

Obviously my generosity in allowing you to occupy a good amount of bed space is a wasted idea. You are getting too big for your britches as Grandma Princess would say. Still, she did teach me that hoomans are good for certain things and therefore we must humor them. So in honor of her memory, I will allow you to remain in bed with me as long as you understand which corner of the bed you (and Moose) are permitted to occupy. And that is: Any corner I don't want!

Bwahahaha. Prepare to curl up or enjoy the furry suffocation!


Princess and Ruler of the Bed


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