Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 204439 times)

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M-theory

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #60 on: October 18, 2009, 05:14:40 AM »
Dear Haiti,

I love that you come into the bedroom for cuddles first thing in the morning. However, the claws are not necessary.  If you would let me trim your nails, we wouldn't have this problem. Maybe we can work something out...?

Also, shame on you for teaching your foster-sister bad habits!  Ahh, who I am kidding. I can't stay mad at you, you fluffy little monkey.


Love,
Mom

Quote
Dear Monica,

While the facepats are very endearing, I prefer them without claws.

Love,
Civil Disobedience

Dear Monica,

Please be nice to your foster mom; if you don't keep the claws in, I'm going to knit you little mittens.  ;)

Love,
Mom



Dear Mom,

May I have pink and blue mittens, please? They would set off my grey colour oh-so-fetchingly.

Love,
Monica

GotSquatch

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #61 on: October 18, 2009, 05:16:02 AM »
Dear Callie Bear,

You know the nigh stand is off limits!  If you are hungry, I'm happy to wake up to feed you but if you break the antique lamp, its generic kibble for you!

Love,

Mama
  The Bear and The Bee 

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #62 on: October 18, 2009, 11:46:56 PM »
BigOzzy you crack me up!

dirtyweasel

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #63 on: October 19, 2009, 01:39:36 AM »
Dear Rat Dog-

    Stop trying to chase the kitties...you are a 3lb Chihuahua and they will eat you.  Also, stop eating the cat food.



Kaora

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #64 on: October 19, 2009, 01:43:38 AM »
Dear Andy

I love you and you're my favorite old man kitty on the planet, but please, stop waking me up at 6 to feed you.  You are a lovely, sweet old man cat, but I love my sleep.  ;)

In The Breeze

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #65 on: October 19, 2009, 02:43:56 AM »
Dear Sammie

While you are so cute and mischievous, you have to calm down or DaddyBreeze will cover you in stamps and post you to Timbuktu.

He gets quite agitated in his sleep and your attempts to sleep on his head like a fur turban and push your face into his ear canal as far as it can go, do not endear you to him.  Or to me, when he thinks the aliens are trying to probe him through his ear, and he turfs me out of bed.

He is not a mad cat poisoner either, so when he feeds you dinner, please eat it.  Do not come crying to me so I think he has forgotten you, only to find a full bowl of kitty food.  It is exactly the same food I would have given you. 

Please donít listen to your pudgy belly. We feed you quite well.  Too well, if you listen to the vet.  Your belly keeps telling you that we starve you.  It is a big fat liar.

Your sister is allowed to sit with us without you keeping tabs on her.  Yes, she is on my lap. No, you donít need to sit next to me and pat her face.  She will get cranky, and swipe at you.  Having a cat fight in my lap is not my idea of a fun Sunday afternoon.

I donít care if there is a poop in your litter at 3.56 in the morning.  I am not getting up to clean it.  There is a whole other clean litter tray for you to use.  Donít try and convince me that you canít use it, I have seen you.  At that time in the morning, sleep is way more important to me than cleaning up one baked bean sized poop.

Love and fishy kisses

MummyBreeze


Dear Pretty Sal

You are with out a doubt the strangest cat I have ever met.  I love your soft, soft coat and your little beeps and trills.  You are so polite and well mannered, a perfect little lady.  You are also quite neurotic.  When you wake up in the spare room alone, you have to remember that you went to sleep in there alone.  We did not abandon you, so you donít need to walk the halls warbling and looking for us. 

You can join in the fun when we are playing with Sam.  When you sit on the sidelines with a wistful look on your little face, it makes me feel sad.  But it is a two way street.  When we try to include you, donít throw a snit and gallop off like a horse.  What did we do?

I am sorry if I offended you by saying that I can see your bosom.  You are a white cat.  Your bosoms are pink, so they stand out.  I was only joking.  There was really no reason to glare at me and turn your back to me.  It was a joke, Miss Huffy!

DaddyBreeze says you are the prettiest cat he has ever seen.  He has always wanted a pure white cat, so he is extra specially in love with you.  *whispers* I think you are his favourite.  Donít tell Sam.

Love

Mummy Breeze.

Jessie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #66 on: October 19, 2009, 04:55:49 AM »
Dear cats,

I am super glad that you guys are friends most of the time. However, the kitty olympics can happen places other than the dining room table. I promise.

Love,

mommy

thatBakerwoman

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #67 on: October 19, 2009, 05:30:53 PM »
Dear Thomas,

Thank you so much for giving Mommy what should have been heart failure, if her heart had only slowed down enough to fail.

I realize that under the farthingale of my RenFaire costume, as it stands on the tailor's dummy, is a wonderful place to nap, however, the sight of the front of the skirt belling out as though about to take a step towards me caused all of my innards to unhinge and head in unnatural directions.  I now know that it was only you doing the usual wake-up stretching.

Please forgive me for yelling that as soon as my legs were in good working order again, one of your nine lives was forfeit.  I wouldn't hurt a hair on your head.  Still, you had ample time to find a dozen hiding places before I had all my parts back in their proper places and functioning normally.

Love,

tbw (she who wields the magic can-opener)

Hushabye

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #68 on: October 19, 2009, 06:00:51 PM »
Dear Pumpkin,

My legs, especially when not encased in leather, denim, chain mail, or other protective materials, are not climbing posts, just as my feet are not chew toys.  We will be bringing you home soon, and I do not plan on investing in plate armor in order to love on you.

Also, please remember that little brother Tesla is younger and smaller than you.  He is not quite up to your rambunctious playfighting yet, so please stop pouncing on him from high places like you did today.

We're looking forward to seeing you on Thursday, provided you do not shred the veterinarian into tiny bits come Wednesday.

Love,
FutureMommy


Dear Tesla,

I know that Pumpkin is a handful.  Therefore, when she starts gnawing on your ears, it *is* perfectly acceptable behavior to gnaw back or swat at her.  It is not, however, necessary to climb up my arms, neck, and chest and perch on my shoulders to obtain safety.  Especially not if you insist on clawing my ... delicate frontal real estate.  I promise, she'll bother you less if you kick her orange butt a few times.

Love,
FutureMommy

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #69 on: October 19, 2009, 06:20:46 PM »
Dear Thomas,

Thank you so much for giving Mommy what should have been heart failure, if her heart had only slowed down enough to fail.

I realize that under the farthingale of my RenFaire costume, as it stands on the tailor's dummy, is a wonderful place to nap, however, the sight of the front of the skirt belling out as though about to take a step towards me caused all of my innards to unhinge and head in unnatural directions.  I now know that it was only you doing the usual wake-up stretching.

Please forgive me for yelling that as soon as my legs were in good working order again, one of your nine lives was forfeit.  I wouldn't hurt a hair on your head.  Still, you had ample time to find a dozen hiding places before I had all my parts back in their proper places and functioning normally.

Love,

tbw (she who wields the magic can-opener)

This reminded me of a funny bit in one of the Little House books, where a kitten, chased by a dog, climbs up the inside of Laura's hoop skirt. In church.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, ďIím possible!Ē ĖAudrey Hepburn


Dazi

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #70 on: October 19, 2009, 06:23:45 PM »
Dear Thomas,

Thank you so much for giving Mommy what should have been heart failure, if her heart had only slowed down enough to fail.

I realize that under the farthingale of my RenFaire costume, as it stands on the tailor's dummy, is a wonderful place to nap, however, the sight of the front of the skirt belling out as though about to take a step towards me caused all of my innards to unhinge and head in unnatural directions.  I now know that it was only you doing the usual wake-up stretching.

Please forgive me for yelling that as soon as my legs were in good working order again, one of your nine lives was forfeit.  I wouldn't hurt a hair on your head.  Still, you had ample time to find a dozen hiding places before I had all my parts back in their proper places and functioning normally.

Love,

tbw (she who wields the magic can-opener)

That is hysterical   ;D
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Bluenomi

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #71 on: October 19, 2009, 08:45:29 PM »
Dear Isis,

I was really glad to manage have my 4th morning in a row of not having morning sickness this morning. So why oh why did you feel the need to throw up? I was hopeing to have a throw up free day today  :-[ Thank you for staying out of the way while I cleaned it up though, it is easier without you trying to walk in it.

Love Mummy

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #72 on: October 20, 2009, 06:16:15 PM »
Dear Smokey,
It is time to face facts.  You are fat.  Fluff can only get you so far (and you are indeed my fluffy kitty!).  It doesn't help that you eat Mouse's half of breakfast and dinner since he's more interested in going outside.  We are guessing he is mostly surviving on bugs and lizards he finds out there because you don't let him eat too much.  I am going to start putting his half up on the counter so you can't overindulge anymore.  Don't give me those sad eyes - you are NOT starving.

Dear Mouse,
It is NOT my fault that it has been raining - I can't make it stop and I am not going to let you out while it's raining, even though you are an odd cat to not mind getting wet.  Your tortured cries at staying inside are becoming ear piercing.  Could you tone it down - the neighbors are going to think we are torturing you.   

P.S.  Please try to not wander so far from home.  I heard about your latest escapade - Mommy is NOT pleased! 

Kisses to you both!

MissRose

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #73 on: April 11, 2010, 03:33:53 PM »
I know the 2 cats I am referring to are long gone but still something I would write to them when I owned them:  ;D

Dear Miss Puddy (black and white cat looks like Sylvester from Looney Tunes),

No it is not cute to wake us with meowing because you found a stuffed mouse toy of yours that we failed to hide before bed time.  Please don't sit on my pillow just because my head came off it sometime during the night and then give me a dirty look when I wish to use my pillow.  No its not cute to tease the dog because he has to stay outside, and you can be inside LOL.

Love,

MissRose

Dear Boomalatti (i didnt name this cat LOL - he was a orange cat that may have been part Maine Coon, and weighed about 20 lbs & had to be given up for adoption),

No its not cute when you hang by your front paws & claws on the screen door.  What surprises me is that you haven't shredded it either!!  Also, please stick around in your own yard, and think the neighbor's pine trees are a nicer hiding spot.  Yes, the little human is my nephew, and he's not going anywhere anytime soon, and he will be nice to you even though he is 1 year old & we are trying to keep you two apart (my nephew is nearly 11 now!).  Also, your claws do not feel nice on our arms or legs.

Love,

Miss Rose
(who took you in a nice carrier to people who gave you a nice forever home free to roam outside freely without a toddler around)

bluhairfreak

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #74 on: April 11, 2010, 03:50:46 PM »
Dear Smudge
    I swear the water in the shower doesn't hurt or bother me.  In fact I quite enjoy it.  There's no need to pace outside the shower curtain meowing at me to get out of the water.  The same applies when I am taking a bath.