Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 178443 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Fee

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 160
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #90 on: April 12, 2010, 09:42:50 PM »
Dear Cat.

Why with the boxes? Especially the ones I am currently packing!! You aren't helping (unless helping me procrastinate is concidered helping). I can't take you with me either, and even if I could, for some reason I don't think that being packed into a box and hauled across country should be your first choice for travel.

Love your mummy.

Chinchillazilla

  • SQUEAK.
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 508
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #91 on: April 12, 2010, 10:46:54 PM »
Dear Manny,
Your big fluffy white tummy is irresistible. Please stop exposing it and then attacking people who innocently stroke it. What are you, a venus flytrap?
Love,
Me

Why are you writing to my cat? And why are you calling him Manny? His name is Mayonnaise  ;)

 :D Hahaha, Manny's actually a girl (her name was Maggie, but my baby cousin could only say "Manny" and she actually answers to it).

I think Mayonnaise is an adorable name for a cat.
No running with scythes.

jazzywoo

  • Guest
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #92 on: April 13, 2010, 06:10:06 AM »
Dear Puss,

You know I've put your litterbox in the bathroom because it's the only 'wet area' in my unit. 

When I'm using the facilities, I feel kind of creeped out when you waltz in, have a look at me, and think 'Hey, that's a good idea, I'll go too!'.

I'm also not much up for you jumping up on my lap in the same situation for a cuddle.  There are far more appropriate times.

Scratching the shower screen will not spread your litter.

I let you outside for a couple of hours EVERY day. You know that. If you could refrain from begging to come inside to use your litterbox, that would be appreciated as well.

And finally, I still cannot understand why the best face rubs you receive are from my steaming hot, completely full coffee mug.  Hot coffee hurts me!

Love, your slave.

sparklestar

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2257
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #93 on: April 13, 2010, 07:51:30 AM »
Dear Sparkle,

Mummy knows when you climb up the chimney.  I know you fastidiously go find the most expensive rug and roll on it till you are clean, but when you climb up and knock down soot, your little grimy footprints tell me exactly where you have been, as does the big smudge on the carpet! 

My next plea is for your own safety, please don't kill the wasps.  They will kill mummy if they sting her and I suspect make you very very ill.  We leave the wasps alone with the windows open and doors closed until they decide to fly out.  We do not pry the door open, launch ourselves at them, claws out, whilst yowling like a harpie.  Not only is it not very ladylike, it's also very dangerous. 

Lastly, don't bite daddy - he doesn't understand you are a lethal predator and liable to kill at any second.  He just gets cross and shouts at you.  And then you run to me for hugs and he shouts at me too!  Mark my words, there will be NO hugs when you bite daddy and he yells at you, it is your own fault.

Love,
your person

ginlyn32

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5664
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #94 on: April 13, 2010, 11:02:44 AM »
Dear Buddy the Cat:

Yes, Mommy loves you very much. But please to stop pouncing on me at o'dark:30 a.m.! Mommy loves her sleep and is very cranky to be woken up before she has to. You have a full food feeder and water feeder.

Please to stop checking what I am doing on the big round seat with the hole in it. No, you may NOT drink out of it!

My computer is not a cat toy. You have lots of mousies and bell-balls...go play with  those.

No, I am not going to abandon you every time I leave the house. You do not need to follow me around and get in between my feet. I almost tripped on you.

And I must apologize in advance...you are loosing your boy parts on Thursday! But I will buy you lots of kitty treats and give you lots of hugs and kisses.

Love Mommy

(ginlyn)
Don't Tread On Me!!!!!

StaciNadia

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1987
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #95 on: April 13, 2010, 01:47:48 PM »
Dear Manny,
Your big fluffy white tummy is irresistible. Please stop exposing it and then attacking people who innocently stroke it. What are you, a venus flytrap?
Love,
Me

Why are you writing to my cat? And why are you calling him Manny? His name is Mayonnaise  ;)

 :D Hahaha, Manny's actually a girl (her name was Maggie, but my baby cousin could only say "Manny" and she actually answers to it).

I think Mayonnaise is an adorable name for a cat.

Do we all have the same cat?  I'd swear you were writing to my Cookie!  The most precious belly, but he scratches and bites if you dare to touch it most of the time (sometimes he lets me)!

Hushabye

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7640
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #96 on: April 13, 2010, 02:26:00 PM »
Dear Tesla,

I know how much you'd love to sleep in the bedroom with us at night, all snuggled up like the little family we are, but it's really only going to work if you can tone down the purr from "jet engine" to "light rumble."  Otherwise you just keep waking us up, and that's not good for anyone.

Love,
SS

Dear Prometheus,

With you, it's not the purring.  You weren't doing any of that last night.  But the pouncing on any moving body part under the covers?  Uncool and unlikely to get you bedroom privileges.  Just sayin'.

Love,
SS

snowfire

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2241
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #97 on: April 14, 2010, 11:38:34 AM »
Dear Scooter,

I know that you are a very independent kitty.  That is why I really value the time you are willing to spend cuddling with me in bed. However, I would really appreciate it if you didn't hit the bed like a fighter jet coming in on a carrier.  Walking up is more likely to get a nice response.

Love,
Momcat

Dear Smudge kitten,

Doing a warp speed bank shot off my butt in the middle of the night will get you booted out of the bedroom. It will get you booted even faster if we are...otherwise occupied....

Love,
Momcat

P.S.  I really think it's adorable how you put your arms around my neck, bury your nose in my hair and purr your heart out.  I really love you, baby girl.

mechtilde

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5578
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #98 on: April 14, 2010, 11:42:14 AM »
Dear Magnus,

Please, please pretty please will you stop wandering around under my feet? I really don't want to tread on you.

It would also be appreciated if you would either  1) start washing again, or 2) let me cut the knots off your tummy without savaging me.

Oh and eat. Please.

Mechtilde
NE England

ChristiKayAnn

  • Guest
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #99 on: April 14, 2010, 11:50:48 AM »
Dear Neko and Kichi,

You are not starving. there is food in both, yes I said both, of the gravity feeders. Following me around yelling while I get dressed for the day because you want your treat food is annoying. It is even more annoying when I fix your treat food for you and you sniff it look at me like I am trying to poisin you and walk away. especially when I come home from work and both plates are licked clean so I know you actually like the treat food you just have to act like stuck up little snobs. I love you to pieces but really kitty-girls you are being irritating,

Love,
Mama

Ps. Kichi, I changed the food because Neko was growling at the old brand and wouldn't eat it. Unlike you she doesn't have any weight to loose in fact she could stand to gain about a pound. If you don't like the change eat the dry stuff or complain at your sister not me.

Lynnv

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2486
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #100 on: April 14, 2010, 12:00:46 PM »
Boy-cats,

We need to have a talk.  I know you like the screened in porch.  Really-yelling at the door will not convince me to let you out any faster.  In fact, it makes me want to avoid the door altogether.

Bob-we have bought you beds.  We have bought you kitty towers.  We have bought you toys.  You have now decided that a cardboard box is your favorite sleeping spot/toy.  And that is okay.  But you need to understand that, when you use a box as a toy, it falls apart.  Soon you will have neither bed nor toy.  And don't come complaining to me when that happens, okay?  Also-reaching out of the box to sharpen your claws on the computer chair is not as stealthy as you think it is.

Harry-you do not become invisible when you hide under things.  A 16 pound cat hiding under a little sleeping pad is NOT invisi-cat.  Honestly, you are hanging out at both ends.  And in the middle.  And you make a big lump.  Bob isn't fooled either-and he does know you are there if you take a swipe at his tail when he goes by.

Both of you-you sleep all day.  Then you want to spend all night playing and cuddling.  That doesn't work for us-we have to go to work every day.  Let's see what we can do about staying up a little more in the day, and sleeping a little more at night, okay?

I am glad that you came to live with us and, after your former home, it is wonderful that you have settled in with us so well.  I am amazed at how friendly you are, that you don't have litter box problems, and that you are just the sweetest kitties on the planet.  But please, please, please, let me go potty and shower alone.  I don't harass you when you go to the bathroom or bathe, do I?

(see page 2 of the newsletter for the boy-cats story, if you are interested).
http://www.tablemountainanimals.org/tablemountaintales.pdf

Lynn  (she who throws tennis balls for you to chase)
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

Hushabye

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7640
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #101 on: April 14, 2010, 02:29:34 PM »
Dear boys,

Yes, that substance that I tracked into the house from the flowerbed last night does indeed appear to be catnip.  No, you did not need to fight over who got to lay in the last spot of it there on the floor.  And yes, I am going to get you harnesses on my way home so that you can go out and roll in the gloriousness outside to get your fix rather than trying to lick it off the floor.  Who knows, maybe I'll even transplant some of it permanently into the flowerbed for you...  (But only for the lulz! ;D)

Love,
SS

8cowwife

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 247
  • Come to the dark side, we have cookies.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #102 on: April 15, 2010, 01:41:07 PM »
Dear Flower,

That thing at the end of your body is your tail.  It is now and will always be permanently attached to your body.  Chasing it won't make it go away, it only makes us laugh at you while you run in circles.  It's even more entertaining to hear you jumping around in the tub trying to catch your tail.

Dear Thumper,

Quit sitting at the door meowing sadly and looking at me with the kitty cat eyes.  I know you only want to go outside to eat grass, come back in and then barf it back up.  Usually right in my path to the bathroom from the bed, and always in the middle of the night.  Other than that we love your big cute fluffiness.

Love, me 
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "WOW!! What a ride!"

katcheya

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 713
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #103 on: April 15, 2010, 02:36:06 PM »
Dear B'deine,

I was very glad to learn that you accepted me back into your good graces after last night's unfortunate incident (i.e. bathtime.)  I do appreciate that you let me know right away, as opposed to letting things drag on forever while passive-aggressively eyeing me from afar.  However, may I kindly request that you improve upon the means to which you made your acceptance clear?  Being awoken at 4:00 AM by claws digging into my back wasn't exactly the best way to start the day.  I understand that, when we make up, you enjoy cuddling up to me.  Deciding that my back is the best place to lie down and demonstrate your cuddly affection, while I lay sleeping on my tummy, wasn't exactly the wisest choice as rolling over in bed is something that humans do very often.

Hugs and love,

katcheya

amandaelizabeth

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 783
    • Amanda's home based ece
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #104 on: April 15, 2010, 05:47:49 PM »
Dear Babbage

I am amazed to learn that you have been following this thread and now have a lot more bad habits in your repertoire.  My amazement is because when you bounce around on the keyboard, the screen whizzes before my eyes, so that I cannot read it, so I am a loss at how you managed.

By the way I do want to apologise for the kitchen incidence last night.  Yes I do know that you want to sample any food sitting around.  However I thought I was safe because the chill was a) hot - both physically and chemically, and b) it was vegetarian and contained only beans.  I did refrain from telling you 'I told you so", and your dad did feed you a large portion of ice cream in an effort to cool your insides down.  However did you have to sleep with us last night and express your displeasure so pungently?

she who paid money for you