S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[Outdoor Girl]

Dear Sassy:

Although you have a lovely singing voice, I'm not interested in being serenaded at 3:00 am.  Please limit your concerts to the hours of 9 am to 9 pm.

The sleep deprived one

Ah, yes.  Concert again last night.  Anyone have a good recipe for cat soup?   

[Wonderflonium]

My darling Wendy,

I love when you want to be close. I love when you put your little kitty face right up to mine. I do NOT love when you put your little kitty face up to mine and start coughing up a hairball.

Love,
Mom

P.S. Please don't try to convince me that you are starving to death when there is still food in the dish. Eat that first, THEN ask for a refill. Tell your sister.

[still in va]

dear Gizmo the Wonder Kitty,

yes, you have beautiful long silky fur.  yes, the beautiful long silky fur leads to hairballs.  yes, hairballs must come up.  but why, WHY, do the hairballs have to come up on my carpet?  80% of this house has hard surface flooring.  you actually have to travel to puke on my carpets.  do you enjoy watching Mama gathering the equipment and scrubbing the carpet? 

let's review here.  hard surface floor: two wads of paper toweling and a little water, time elapsed about 30 seconds.  carpet: paper towels, carpet cleaner, damp sponge, towel, and Febreeze, time elapsed about 20 minutes.

do the math and KNOCK IT OFF!

[That Anime Chick]

Dear fuzzy cat,

While we know you like your toys and even the new ones we've gotten you, walking all over us at 2 in the morning to get to your toys in the dresser is not acceptable cat-child behavior. You were booted from the bedroom for that reason. Sitting outside our door and howling is not acceptable either. Behave or Santa will be taking back the new cat tree for you, and that wouldn't be fair to your sister, would it?

[Reader]

Dear dog:

Please stop relieiving yourself in the basement.  You get plenty of potty breaks during the day, in fact I let you outside 6 times last night between 5:30 and 1am and still you did it.  Your mom is tired of pouring vinegar all over your messes (after trying bleach with no effect) then hauling the mop bucket up and down a full flight of stairs each weekend to mop the floor after the vinegar has dried.  Especially since it's been 2 weeks since your last mess.

Dear cats:

Do not howl at me for more food as you are starving when I get off my second job.  Your bowls aren't even close to empty.  For Deliah, please stop opening the cupboard under the sink (where the trash is kept) when your yowling at me does not work.  I really don't want to have to baby proof that cupboard since all I have is furbabies.

Love, mom.

[finecabernet]

Dear Lucinda,

I adore you, you former feral cat you! However, please stop sneezing on me, and objecting when I try to wipe your nose. I can't keep the bed linens clean unless you cooperate. Also, I'm sorry that I picked you up and it freaked you out. The cold shoulder is not necessary. Plus we both know you'll come around again eventually.

Love, your ignored human

[MonteCristo]

Dear Lyla,

Mommy is so sorry she accidently locked you in the bedroom when she went to work.  But she is very very grateful that you didn't go to the bathroom on anything, even though you couldn't get to the litterbox for almost 10 hours.  I see a new catnip mouse in your future!

Love,
Mommy

[Lynnv]

Dear Harry,
I know that going to the pet store to get your photo taken with Santa was fun.  But randomly meowing at everyone who walked by without petting you is rather petulant and rude.  And trying to jump out of mobile kitty jail (aka the cart) onto the kitty tower display was just way, way out of line.  Also, meowing at the dog obedience class when we walked by just to get all those dogs in trouble wasn't very nice. 

But good job in not letting the little brat pet you-and then jumping in the lap of the kid who was getting teased!  You do show good sense sometimes.  :>


Dear Bob,
I know you didn't enjoy the trip as much as Harry.  But escaping into the kitty tower display so that we had to dig you out of the back of it, and nearly causing us to lose Harry while we tried to rescue you, was a bit of an overreaction.  Thank you for letting Santa pet you.  And for coming out to talk to the little kid who was so upset-who thought you and Harry were the coolest things ever (especially when you wouldn't come out for the brat who had been teasing him).  Good job!

Love,
She who buys the kitty towers

[valkyrie]

Dear Grey Fuzzy Overlord,

My boyfriend is friendly.  Really.  He thinks you are a gorgeous cat.  I know he ignored you a little when he first met you -- he was trying to be polite.  Please start giving him kisses and hugs.  He misses his old cats.

The foodgiver.

P.S.  You hardly ever see my landlord, and you give him hugs!  You fuzzy little weirdo you.

[Nikko-chan]

Dear Mika,

I know you can't help it so I don't even know why I am writing this, but can you please please keep it down tonight, and tomorrow? Grandma needs her rest and so do I.

Sincerely,

Your Slave

[JadeAngel]

Dear Gizmo,

Thank you, really. Because I SO wanted to be woken this morning by a cold wet nose pressed into my armpit.

Couldn't you just miaow in my ear like a normal cat?

Love,

Me.

[WhiteTigerCub]

Dear Fuzzy

I know the evil towel monsters must be defeated from taking over the world, however, that towel you brought me last night was meant to sop up the water dripping from under the kitchen sink that mommy has not been able to get fixed yet. Bringing the COLD evil towel monster into bed at 3AM this morning was not appreciated. It was quite a shock to think I was curling up to you, only to find a wet stinky towel had gotten my side of the bed soaking wet! Additionally mommy was not happy to stumble into the kitchen this morning for coffee and have her socked feet step directly into a big wet puddle by the sink. Next time, could you please do us both a favor and just kill the evil towel monster I leave hanging on the oven door. It's smaller and lighter because it's not wet and that is why mommy leaves it there for you every night because the sound you make when you bring it to her warms her heart.

Sleepy grumpy and cold mommy.

[Midnight Kitty]

Midnight was trying to tell us something: That she did not have much time left and why were we wasting it sleeping?  I started my new job on Dec. 1st and came home to a dying kitty.  She was running around like normal the day before.  We put her down December 2nd.  I think it was the hardest thing DH ever did. He had never put a pet down before and she was his baby for over 17 years.  He held her when the vet gave her the first shot, but he couldn't handle the possibility of convulsions or losing control of her bladder so he waited in the car.  I stayed with Midnight until she gave her last sigh.  Bootsie (her sister) was there on the table in her carrier with the door open so she could see Midnight.

We still have Bootsie, Midnight's sister.  She's doing well and trying to fill in for her sister.  She doesn't walk around looking for Midnight because Bootsie knows Midnight is gone.  Bootsie has lived in Midnight's shadow her whole life; Now she's coming into her own and becoming more verbal and interactive.

Our vet and her entire staff were so compassionate.  They let us use an exam room for the entire afternoon.  They didn't rush DH when he needed to make a decision.  Our vet stayed with me for 10-15 minutes after Midnight passed on.  The office sent us a condolence card signed by everyone who had touched or been touched by Midnight.

Some day I will be able to think about Midnight without tears.  In the meanwhile, we have given ourselves permission to mourn our baby.  We had her cremated.  Her ashes are on the shelf she wasn't allowed on during her life, so she always wanted to be there.  Here are some pictures of Midnight and her sister, Bootsie.

Can you see Bootsie's "heart"?

We will miss Midnight for the rest of our lives.

Dear Midnight;

What is your problem?  For over 17 years you have been our "stealth Siamese," a black feral cat who vocalizes like a Siamese.  You never kept us up all night until the last couple months.  Now you yeowl all.night.long.  I need to sleep at night.  I have to work during the daytime, when you apparently get all your shut eye time.  Since you haven't let me get more than half an hour of sleep at a time for 2 nights now, I am becoming demented.  My reasoning is faulty.  Quit it or Ima gonna wring your scrawny neck and you will become a culinary treat; Maybe Kitty Manapua or Pussy Cat Adobo. (j/k)

I procured weapons (squirt guns).  I tried shooting Midnight in the face when she yells at me at O'dawn thirty.  Not much of a deterrent.  So I pull out all stops and shoot her continuously until she runs from the room.  She is now taking the squirt gun more seriously.  Either that or it takes her 10-15 minutes to lick all the water off before she can yell at me again.

Honestly, I'm on the brink.  Sleep deprivation is insidious.  I have much more sympathy for parents of newborns.  DH said we need to take Midnight & Bootsie to the vet to see if there is something wrong.  I don't know what she's yelling about, but it needs to stop.

Sincerely,
The Staff

[GreenEyedHawk]

Oh, that's terrible, I'm so sorry to hear!  It's never easy to lose a family member.  Do try to take comfort in the fact that Midnight was a well-loved member of your family for 17 years.  And certainly give yourself permission to mourn.  Sympathy from me and kitty headbutts from Samba, Tango and Mambo.

[Amara]

Midnight, baby, tell your daddy and mommy how much you miss them. Reach out and touch them so they knew you are with them now and forever.