S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[Sirius]

Dear Matilda,

We are aware of the loose floorboard in the bathroom (after you hid prawns under it) and have filled in the gap under it. This should mean that it is of no further interest to you.

Instead, it means that throughout the day we are intermittently treated to thwap-wappawappawappa as you try out your new musical instrument. Sitting on one end, hooking your claws over the other and pulling up until the claws slip and the floorboard must be fun, from the number of times you do it a day.

However, one of these days you are going to shut your tail under it or the board will break.  Worse, it will catapult you into a wall, or even the BATH. So shutting you out is in your own best interests, and we are not torturing you.

Regards,
The staff

P.S. Stephen, that door is closed to keep your sister out, not because there is anything interesting behind it. Please stop opening it and letting her back in.

When we first moved to this apartment we had an elderly cat named Vega who discovered that the springy doorstops were the best toy ever.  It was quite annoying to be awakened by THOINGGGGG!!!  THOINGGGGG!!! THOINGGGGG!!! at 2 a.m. (and no, she didn't stop with three THOINGGGGGs.)  Fortunately, the cats we have now have no interest in playing with the springy doorstops.

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Beefy,

Please stop being so adorable. We're taking you to adoption on Saturday, and you're going to break my heart.

Love,
The Big Pink Thing

[blue2000]

Aww. Already? <sniff> They grow up so fast.

[BarensMom]

Misha412, just wanted to say I love your cats' names.  It's rare to find another Bleach fan, at least one who'll admit to it.

Yeah. My fiance got me hooked on it. the kittens came with the name of Bob and Rose. While those are nice names, they did not fit their personalities. So, out comes the Bleach reference.

 

So is Rukia feisty and Byakya disdainful and aloof?

Also, have you seen Deadman Wonderland and Casshern Sins?

[Dr. F.]

Dear Cormac,

I realize you like to run around the house after the dogs and I go to bed, so that they don't annoy you too badly. But is it really necessary to knock everything off of the basement shelves every night? If so, why did it just start in the last week or so? I don't begrudge you your fun, even tolerating the amazingly loud running up and down the stairs at 3am. But breaking my best Oaxacan vase was kinda over the top. Please stop.

Mommy

[AnnaT]

Yes Oscar, we are babysitting Ginger (my sister's cat). 

You never sit on my knee while I'm watching tv so the evil eye and sulks over the edge of the sofa are just going to make me laugh (honestly - just these eyes and a pair of ears laid flat - I nearly wet myself when I saw what he was doing!).

It's only for another 2 1/2 weeks, and you get your own special food, your own special place on the bed and your own sunlamp (when I'm in the shower) so I don't know what your nose is so far out of joint...

Love
Mum

[blue2000]

Yes Oscar, we are babysitting Ginger (my sister's cat). 

You never sit on my knee while I'm watching tv so the evil eye and sulks over the edge of the sofa are just going to make me laugh (honestly - just these eyes and a pair of ears laid flat - I nearly wet myself when I saw what he was doing!).

It's only for another 2 1/2 weeks, and you get your own special food, your own special place on the bed and your own sunlamp (when I'm in the shower) so I don't know what your nose is so far out of joint...

Love
Mum

I am laughing so hard here at that image!

My younger cat once had a fit when I was holding a visiting baby. I was not supposed to be cuddling anyone but him!

[Elfmama]

Yes Oscar, we are babysitting Ginger (my sister's cat). 

You never sit on my knee while I'm watching tv so the evil eye and sulks over the edge of the sofa are just going to make me laugh (honestly - just these eyes and a pair of ears laid flat - I nearly wet myself when I saw what he was doing!).

It's only for another 2 1/2 weeks, and you get your own special food, your own special place on the bed and your own sunlamp (when I'm in the shower) so I don't know what your nose is so far out of joint...

Love
Mum

I am laughing so hard here at that image!

My younger cat once had a fit when I was holding a visiting baby. I was not supposed to be cuddling anyone but him!

One of my Siamese got so jealous that I was petting a visiting cat that she bit me.  Not on the offending hand, but in the middle of my back.  Try explaining THAT to the medical clinic.

[atirial]

Dear Stephen,

Yes, Daddy was trying to keep you out of the kitchen. We don't really want you vanishing down the pipe cavities while the plumber works.

He unlocked the door and opened it. He looked round, no cat. He slid in, carefully not opening it wide enough for you to get through, and closed the door behind him. He made his cup of tea, keeping an eye on the kitchen door in case it should mysteriously open. It did not. He opened the door a crack and looked for cats. No sign. He rushed out, trying not to spill his tea, and closed and locked the door behind him again (by which point, yes Mummy was laughing).

So why, five minutes later, did we hear scratching coming from inside the kitchen door, and have to let you out?

Regards,
The baffled staff

P.S. By the way, Daddy now acknowledges that your ninjitsu is superior to his own. 

[HungryHungryKitties]

Dear Mica, Fred, Adam, Rocky and Antero,

Thank you for being gracious hosts to visiting kitties Grigio and Cheryl, who had to be evacuated along with their giver-of-food due to the fires here in Colorado.  All seven of you have been peacefully ignoring each tother - granted, there is a door seperating the two groups, but still...

Love,
Your grateful referee

[stargazer]

Dear Mouse and Smokey,

I don't know which of you did it.  I'm leaning towards Smokey just due to some suspicious behavior earlier this morning (i.e. RACING into the house, skidding on the kitchen floor, then continuing on when he has arthritis and usually moves at the pace of a turtle) - but Mommy does NOT appreciate finding a dead bird at the foot of the stairs, which I almost tripped over. 

Mouse, if you did it, I know you want to be a bird, but it is not going to happen.  Get over it.   Killing a bird in retaliation is not appropriate. 

As a side note - this was a REALLY dumb bird if one of you was able to catch it.

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Jack,

You're not going to catch a mockingbird. You're just not. Give it up.

Love,

Your amused hoomin

[Midnight Kitty]

Dear Stephen,

Yes, Daddy was trying to keep you out of the kitchen. We don't really want you vanishing down the pipe cavities while the plumber works.

Midnight used to go behind the washing machine frequently.  Sometimes she would yeowl and paw/scratch at the wall, so I would tell her to cut it out.  When the plumber removed the failing washer/dryer unit, we discovered a large hole in the wallboard behind the washer.  We're lucky Midnight didn't climb in!  I can just imagine the creepy crawlers she was chasing back there. <shudder> No wonder she insisted that was part of her realm which needed oversight several times a day.

[Midnight Kitty]

Dear Jack,

You're not going to catch a mockingbird. You're just not. Give it up.

Love,

Your amused hoomin

While not "mockingbirds," the local pigeons used to enjoy perching on our lanai railing taunting (dare I say, "mocking") Midnight.  She would chatter back, lash her tail, and jump on the bird's shadow, then look up at that "mocking" bird and chatter what she would do if he dared come down from that rail.  DH was worried that Midnight might try to jump to catch one of those birds and fall, but she wasn't that dumb.

[Dr. F.]

Cormac,

You are nearly 18! 18 is OLD for cats. Please stop beating up the dogs. They weigh 3x what you do!

Your personal chin-scritcher