S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[Girlie]

Dear Max and Lucy,

You are pigs. Mommy and Daddy go to work every day to keep you in the lap of luxury, and you repay us by scarfing down four bowls of food a day. Please slow down. Otherwise, we will soon find ourselves out of house and home, with nothing but empty Blue Buffalo bags to keep us warm.

Love,
Mom

[bluhairfreak]

Dear Rocky
   Jumping onto the table and sitting on my keys is not going to keep my from going to work.  I will just move your furry butt and go on my merry way.

[MonteCristo]

Alexei,

I realize that somehow you missed out on the grace that is suppose to come naturally to a cat...but if you don't stop tromping so heavily all over me when I'm trying to sleep you are going to be locked out of the bedroom.  Your sister weighs a good 2 lbs more than you, but she manages to walk as light as a feather.  Try and learn from her.

Love,
Mommy

[misha412]

So is Rukia feisty and Byakya disdainful and aloof?

Also, have you seen Deadman Wonderland and Casshern Sins?

Actually, it is just about the opposite. Rukia is starting to emerge as disdainful and aloof. Byakuya is the more fiesty playful one. But, both are adorable and very sweet. At 11 weeks old, they are going vertical...ARGH  I love them

[JadeAngel]

Dear Gizmo,

I really enjoy our nightly battle for the hot water bottle, it's kind of fun to hide it under the covers in unexpected places (between my feet, under my armpit, behind my knee) and watch you nosing around the bed until you find it. And I'm sorry that you're now too round to curl up on top of it and it keeps rolling over and dumping you off (well actually I'm not sorry I'm laughing, but I can pretend to be sympathetic) but you have to choose. You can EITHER sleep curled up against the hot water bottle OR you can sleep smack in the middle of the bed but not both. I want you to choose the hot water bottle because then you sleep in a corner of the bed, but I can work around you.

Also the Bad-Man is coming over tonight, do you want your fluffy blanket under the TV table or on the couch?

Regards,

The Help.

[Snooks]

Dear Gizmo,
...
Also the Bad-Man is coming over tonight, do you want your fluffy blanket under the TV table or on the couch?

Regards,

The Help.

Dear Help

I think the Bad-Man would prefer the couch.  He's more than welcome to my blanket, I've got the hot water bottle.

Regards,

Gizmo

[JennJenn68]

Dear Mehitabel-The-Moron...

Please stay out of the bunny's cage.  You don't fit and you scare poor Sandy when you try to squeeze in, even when she doesn't happen to be in it at the time.  The bunny is a temporary visitor, and needs to be treated with the courtesy a guest demands, even one of another species. 

Oh, and don't try to eat Sandy's food.  It isn't good for you and I don't appreciate cleaning up cat yurp from the living room carpet.  You're an obligate carnivore; accept this fact.

Exasperatedly,

The Keeper Of The "Greenies" (And I can withhold them, too!)

[Bijou]

Just because you shouldn't eat onions and garlic doesn't mean that I can't.  I know you're trying to save my life, but really, they won't hurt me...I'm not a cat...I'm a person.  I LIKE onions and garlic and when  you jump in my dish, I have to throw the food away...because you can't eat it...because it has onions and garlic in it.
And, that stuff in the white bowl next to your food dish is water...same as comes out of the tap, so don't act like  you're dying of thirst if I don't turn on the faucet in the bathroom for you.

Just a thought.  I know no one here has a cat that drinks out of the toilet. but if a cat did do that, could you get a fake little toilet to put by the food dish so they would stop hogging the bathroom?

[Mental Magpie]

Just because you shouldn't eat onions and garlic doesn't mean that I can't.  I know you're trying to save my life, but really, they won't hurt me...I'm not a cat...I'm a person.  I LIKE onions and garlic and when  you jump in my dish, I have to throw the food away...because you can't eat it...because it has onions and garlic in it.
And, that stuff in the white bowl next to your food dish is water...same as comes out of the tap, so don't act like  you're dying of thirst if I don't turn on the faucet in the bathroom for you.

Just a thought.  I know no one here has a cat that drinks out of the toilet. but if a cat did do that, could you get a fake little toilet to put by the food dish so they would stop hogging the bathroom?

Leave the toilet seat up.  Once upon a time, Dark Cat, named Kasper, liked to drink out of the toilet bowl.  We didn't have dogs so the lids were up but the seats were down.  Dark Dad was tired of having the toilet seat always wet because the cat was drinking out of it, that he left the seat up.  Kasper jumped expecting 3" of landing space; when he was greeted with only 1", he fell in, splashed about, fled, and never drank out of the toilet again.

[Midnight Kitty]

The cat's water fountain is in the bathroom next to the toilet.  Cats (in general) like running water.  We bought the least expensive Petco model.  It's the smallest model and it barely fits.  Our condo is tiny.  We bought the water fountain when Midnight's kidneys began to fail and she compensated by drinking more.  The vet said "the more she drinks, the longer she'll live," so we bought the fountain to encourage her to drink more.

Bootsie loved drinking from the sink faucet until she got too fat and her arthritis got too bad for her to jump up.  Now she has the fountain with running water at her chin level.

[Elfmama]

Just because you shouldn't eat onions and garlic doesn't mean that I can't.  I know you're trying to save my life, but really, they won't hurt me...I'm not a cat...I'm a person.  I LIKE onions and garlic and when  you jump in my dish, I have to throw the food away...because you can't eat it...because it has onions and garlic in it.
And, that stuff in the white bowl next to your food dish is water...same as comes out of the tap, so don't act like  you're dying of thirst if I don't turn on the faucet in the bathroom for you.

Just a thought.  I know no one here has a cat that drinks out of the toilet. but if a cat did do that, could you get a fake little toilet to put by the food dish so they would stop hogging the bathroom?

Leave the toilet seat up.  Once upon a time, Dark Cat, named Kasper, liked to drink out of the toilet bowl.  We didn't have dogs so the lids were up but the seats were down.  Dark Dad was tired of having the toilet seat always wet because the cat was drinking out of it, that he left the seat up.  Kasper jumped expecting 3" of landing space; when he was greeted with only 1", he fell in, splashed about, fled, and never drank out of the toilet again.

One of mine stopped drinking out of the toilet when another cat pushed her into it.  First and only time I ever saw a cat play a practical joke.

[Sirius]

I used to have a cat who wasn't too sure-footed, and after having to fish her out of the toilet several times because she fell in I made a rule that the lid was to be kept down at all times when the toilet wasn't being used by a human, and anyone leaving it up would have to dry the cat off if she fell in.  The rule worked - she never fell in again.  She did, however, fall into the bathtub once when I was soaking in a bubble bath. 

[Venus193]

Dear Figaro,

You have all the personality in the world which is why I gave you that name.  So is that why when you lay in the bathtub you knock my razor off its ledge?

Love, Mum

[MonteCristo]

Dear Alexei,

I don't know what you were doing last night, but the sound of a 5lb ceramic plate full of crochet needles and remotes crashing off the piano at midnight is very disturbing.  If you must run around and play in the middle of the night, would you please try to sound less like a rampaging band of marauders? 

Love,
Mommy

[snowfire]

Dear Furballs,

Sharpening your claws on the carpet, felonious hot pursuits across the bed (and occupants) at 5AM and spilling DH's glass of ice water on him, which soaked all the bedding and onto the mattress is not how or when we want to start the day.  Further acts of this nature will get your sorry tails booted out of the bedroom or house.

Love,

Mom

(DH was NOT a Happy Camper this morning.)