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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 793227 times)

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greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #705 on: August 24, 2012, 01:00:45 PM »
Dear Princess,

I appreciate your attempts at soothing my aches and pains, but massages should not be given using porcupines and it's ACUpuncture, not just puncture.

Love,

Your loyal subject.

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #706 on: August 24, 2012, 01:08:59 PM »
Fred,

Notice there's no "Dear Fred." What the heck happened this morning that you peed on the bed, with me still in it? You had food which you didn't touch over night. You had three water bowls that I refilled just before I went to bed. I scooped the litter box just before bed, too. It was half an hour before Wake Up Time, too, which just added insult to injury.

There's a slim chance you might be sick, but since you used the litter box successfully before and after The Incident, I'm inclined to think you are trying to send me a message.

Find another medium, young man, or beware the consequences. You would be wise to reconsider peeing on the hand that feeds you.

Do you really want another trip to The Vet?

Not very happily,

Your Human
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #707 on: August 24, 2012, 02:14:39 PM »
Fred,

Notice there's no "Dear Fred." What the heck happened this morning that you peed on the bed, with me still in it? You had food which you didn't touch over night. You had three water bowls that I refilled just before I went to bed. I scooped the litter box just before bed, too. It was half an hour before Wake Up Time, too, which just added insult to injury.

There's a slim chance you might be sick, but since you used the litter box successfully before and after The Incident, I'm inclined to think you are trying to send me a message.

Find another medium, young man, or beware the consequences. You would be wise to reconsider peeing on the hand that feeds you.

Do you really want another trip to The Vet?

Not very happily,

Your Human
OK, now I'm ROTFLMAO!  I know cats are not rational, but I'd be saying exactly what you said.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #708 on: August 24, 2012, 02:28:45 PM »
Dear Bootsie;

I know cats don't understand human words, only the tone and inflection.  I also know that cats are not rational creatures.  However, Daddy and I are very proud of your socialization efforts.  Coming out from under the bed to hang out with Cleaner Neighbor was very brave, especially with the vacuum cleaner running.

You are getting more Greenies, you good little kitty,
Mommy

BG:  Bootsie is very timid.  For 18 years, hiding has worked well for her.  Let sister Midnight greet the strange people, Bootsie's staying under the bed where it's safe.  Now Midnight is gone over the Rainbow Bridge and Bootsie is getting bolder.  Still, Bootsie has always viewed the vacuum cleaner's appearance as her signal to hide in the darkest corner of the closet.  Our condo neighbor (right across the hall) is a "cat lady" who no longer has a cat.   She lost her cat of 20+ years a couple years ago and misses her still.  She would love to be able to love on Bootsie. She is starting up a cleaning business.  She watched Bootsie for us when we went on vacation, but Bootsie wouldn't let her come close enough to touch her. /BG

As we left the house last Sunday, we told Bootsie that Cleaner Neighbor is coming over to clean.  Don't be frightened and don't hide because Cleaner Neighbor wants to love her up. I told Bootsie she could be a "therapy cat" and share some purrs with Cleaner Neighbor.

We came home to a note saying that Bootsie supervised the condo cleaning and allowed herself to be pet.

No one but us has pet Bootsie in 16 years.  Cleaner Neighbor is very happy to have a kitty to cuddle.  We are thrilled that we have someone to watch our timid little girl when we go on vacation.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Girlie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #709 on: August 24, 2012, 02:33:36 PM »
Dear Max,

Mommy would appreciate it if you would stop looking at her as though she is some kind of crazy axe-murderer just for walking in the room.

Love,
Me.

reddevil

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #710 on: August 24, 2012, 02:37:19 PM »
Dear Nero-dog:

You do not like oranges.

You just DO NOT.

I know you like the smell of them, but not the taste.  Please do not glare suspiciously at me when I offer you a slice and you taste it and hate it.  I swear, it is the SAME THING that you were just sniffing.  I did not pause time and swap it out with something else to trick you.  Repeatedly begging for a taste, and then making that hilarious "I hate this" face when I give it to you seems like the very definition of insanity. 

Love,
Your Citrus Craving Mama

Really?

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #711 on: August 24, 2012, 03:22:22 PM »
Dear G,

Yes it was lovely that you had a bath, but mommy doesn't need one also. Please stop licking me.

ONlyme

siamesecat2965

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #712 on: August 24, 2012, 03:28:44 PM »
For all the naughty dogs and cats out there, I present cat shaming - http://cat-shaming.tumblr.com/
and dog shaming - http://dog-shaming.com/

Absolutely hilarious!  Although I'm not sure if the owners submit photos with teh notes, or the site provides them - but either way, they are pretty funny!

guihong

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #713 on: August 24, 2012, 03:46:35 PM »
Oh great.  Between the dogs and cats, I'll never move  ;D.  Way too funny.

Have you noticed yet that it's impossible for a cat to look ashamed?



siamesecat2965

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #714 on: August 24, 2012, 04:21:20 PM »
Oh great.  Between the dogs and cats, I'll never move  ;D.  Way too funny.

Have you noticed yet that it's impossible for a cat to look ashamed?

Yes.  They just look superior, even when caught doing something they shouldn't be. 

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #715 on: August 24, 2012, 04:24:43 PM »
For all the naughty dogs and cats out there, I present cat shaming - http://cat-shaming.tumblr.com/
and dog shaming - http://dog-shaming.com/

Absolutely hilarious!  Although I'm not sure if the owners submit photos with teh notes, or the site provides them - but either way, they are pretty funny!
It looks like most of the notes are written by the owners.

My favorite:  I pretend I want you to pet me, then I bite you like an Evil B***h Kitty from He11! (signed) LucyFur.

Quote from: guihong
Have you noticed yet that it's impossible for a cat to look ashamed?
I don't know if it is impossible or if cats are just unfamiliar with the concept of "shame."

OTOH, almost all of the dogs have "I'm so very, very sorry" written all over their faces.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

siamesecat2965

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #716 on: August 24, 2012, 04:39:53 PM »
For all the naughty dogs and cats out there, I present cat shaming - http://cat-shaming.tumblr.com/
and dog shaming - http://dog-shaming.com/

Absolutely hilarious!  Although I'm not sure if the owners submit photos with teh notes, or the site provides them - but either way, they are pretty funny!
It looks like most of the notes are written by the owners.

My favorite:  I pretend I want you to pet me, then I bite you like an Evil B***h Kitty from He11! (signed) LucyFur.

Quote from: guihong
Have you noticed yet that it's impossible for a cat to look ashamed?
I don't know if it is impossible or if cats are just unfamiliar with the concept of "shame."

OTOH, almost all of the dogs have "I'm so very, very sorry" written all over their faces.

I love the dog who says he flaps his ears at 4am and wakes everyone up, and the one with teh sign that says "0 days since I ate cat litter"

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #717 on: August 24, 2012, 04:45:07 PM »
Dear adorable Moose the Kitten:

When I shower, I am not steaming myself for your consumption.  The licking and biting that inevitably follows my shower really needs to stop before you turn into the enormous monster of a cat your feet are promising me that you'll be.

Love,
The human whose leg you are currently snuggling.

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #718 on: August 24, 2012, 04:54:41 PM »
Dear Magic,

I enjoy lap time too, that's why I encourage you to curl up on me.  But for the love of Bast, please do not use your hind claws for traction when jumping off if I am wearing shorts. 

Sincerely,

The Bed Warmer

misha412

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #719 on: August 24, 2012, 11:53:18 PM »
Dear Renji,

The counter top is not your play area. Yes, when I catch you up there, you will be getting a bath with the spray bottle.

You are such a sweet baby. I am loving watching you grow into a young cat. But, keep a couple things in mind. The drapes are not ladders in disguise and the dog's tail is not for chewing. And stop making your little sister squeal by playing rough.

Love, Mommy.

Dear Rukia,

Sigh. You look so innocent. You are not fooling mommy though. I know you are the one who pounces on your brother whenever possible. I know you like to instigate things. Plus, squealing does not make you innocent. It just means you like to complain when your brother is kicking your tush.

You are my little sweetie girl. Plus, you are the only other female in this household. (We've got to watch each other's backs).

Love, Mommy