Dear Moose the Kitten:
You are the cutest thing in the world, and it's a good thing I rescued you from outside and made you an indoor kitty, because you have absolutely no sense of self preservation. You run towards loud noises. And then, there are your interactions with the other animals.
Specifically, stay away from Princess. She is Basement Cat incarnate, and does not like you. Or the other cats. She only tolerates the dog (because he leaves her alone) and accepts the worship of humans. Quit trying to play the same attack-the-fluffy tail and jump-on-the-head games you play with your mother and Tribble, my angelically patient tom cat. The ensuing screeching and the potential for damage to you is just not acceptable.
Furthermore, leave your poor mother alone. When the two of you are play fighting and one of you starts screaming because the other is being too rough, it's your mother nine times out of ten.
Also, just because I'm wearing a long dress, does not mean you can hide under the skirt in order to ambush the other cats and the dog when they approach me for petting. I now know how the Trojan horse felt. I mean, you don't just jump out from underneath - you attack through my skirt. Brat.