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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 793252 times)

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guihong

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #735 on: September 01, 2012, 09:20:02 AM »
Dear cats - all four of you,

May I please use the bathroom by myself?


An addendum to the dog:
I know you like to sleep in there, but can you not sleep right in front of the toilet?  I need to put my feet there.

Dog=portable bathroom rug  ;D



Elfmama

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  • Derailing threads since 2001!
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #736 on: September 01, 2012, 11:41:33 AM »
Dear cats - all four of you,

May I please use the bathroom by myself?


An addendum to the dog:
I know you like to sleep in there, but can you not sleep right in front of the toilet?  I need to put my feet there.

Dog=portable bathroom rug  ;D
But not very useful when you're stepping out of the shower. :D 

Tasha HATED the bathroom -- it was where you got BATHS, for heaven's sake! She would never go in there on her own, not even to drink out of the toilet.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #737 on: September 01, 2012, 01:50:51 PM »
Dear cats - all four of you,

May I please use the bathroom by myself?


An addendum to the dog:
I know you like to sleep in there, but can you not sleep right in front of the toilet?  I need to put my feet there.

Dog=portable bathroom rug  ;D
But not very useful when you're stepping out of the shower. :D 

Tasha HATED the bathroom -- it was where you got BATHS, for heaven's sake! She would never go in there on her own, not even to drink out of the toilet.

My dog usually hates baths, although every once in awhile I guess his skin itching gets to the point where he decides it's a good idea.  He usually gets up and leaves when I turn the shower on for my own use though.

He is also not a good bathroom rug/foot warmer - he usually wakes up and seems offended by my feet being on him, and it's really hard to balance on the toilet when your feet are suddenly elevated from a foot above the floor to above your waist!

greencat

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  • Trap...Neuter...What was that third thing again?
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #738 on: September 01, 2012, 03:15:48 PM »
Dear Princess:
You are as stealthy as a windchime in a gale.  Cuddling up to my plate and then pretending you're using it as a pillow is not going to get you a bite of my food - besides, I'm not really sure what part of my lunch you're actually interested in eating, since you turn your nose up at hot dogs and bread, and I'm also pretty sure you don't like sauerkraut.

Love,
Your loyal subject.

P.S. getting the sticker off a peach stuck to you made me laugh for the nerd factor.

MrsVandy

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  • Formally futurelillady
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #739 on: September 01, 2012, 11:58:19 PM »
Dear Gunter,
Your new so here are some rules:
1. Cats don't go in the fridge.
2. Same applies for the cupboards.
3. Mommy will not wake up at 6 am to pet and cuddle you.
4. Play with Jericho, he likes you, Perl does not.
5. You will get fed breakfast at the hour of my choosing.
6. Don't eat my socks.
7. Don't break bottles.

Love CatMommy.




ZaftigWife

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #740 on: September 02, 2012, 02:26:46 PM »
Dear cats - all four of you,

May I please use the bathroom by myself?



greencat

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  • Trap...Neuter...What was that third thing again?
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #741 on: September 02, 2012, 03:15:58 PM »
Dear cats - all four of you,

May I please use the bathroom by myself?




I ROFL'd.   ;D

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #742 on: September 02, 2012, 11:46:31 PM »
No bathroom privacy with only one cat let alone four!

Mine also likes to come running and skid on the shower rug, which makes it hard to step on when getting out of the shower - but absolutely priceless to watch!

Lynnv

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #743 on: September 03, 2012, 10:08:43 AM »
Dear Harry & Bob (especially Harry),

Having cats means having to tape roll any clothing you own if you want it to be mostly hair-free when you leave the house.  I can live with that.  I have to say that your ability, Bob, to shed such that every kind of clothing shows your fur (since you are black AND white) is somewhat annoying.

But Harry, the fact that I have to tape roll my pillows is just wrong.  And it is your fault.  We have ceded an entire pillow to you, but you insist on sleeping on my pillow when I am not around to shoo you off.  Believe me, the fur on the pillow gives you away.  Stop it.  Just stop it.

Thanks.

She who feeds you and clips your claws (and tape rolls her pillows)
Lynn

"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."  Robert A. Heinlein

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #744 on: September 04, 2012, 09:32:59 AM »
Dear Harry & Bob (especially Harry),

Having cats means having to tape roll any clothing you own if you want it to be mostly hair-free when you leave the house.  I can live with that.  I have to say that your ability, Bob, to shed such that every kind of clothing shows your fur (since you are black AND white) is somewhat annoying.

But Harry, the fact that I have to tape roll my pillows is just wrong.  And it is your fault.  We have ceded an entire pillow to you, but you insist on sleeping on my pillow when I am not around to shoo you off.  Believe me, the fur on the pillow gives you away.  Stop it.  Just stop it.

Thanks.

She who feeds you and clips your claws (and tape rolls her pillows)

Dear Koa,

This is why I insist that you nap on the old sheet that I spread over the bed each morning.  Please don't pull it off.

Thank you,

The bedwarmer.

Amara

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #745 on: September 04, 2012, 10:16:07 AM »
Dear Harry & Bob (especially Harry),

Having cats means having to tape roll any clothing you own if you want it to be mostly hair-free when you leave the house.  I can live with that.  I have to say that your ability, Bob, to shed such that every kind of clothing shows your fur (since you are black AND white) is somewhat annoying.

But Harry, the fact that I have to tape roll my pillows is just wrong.  And it is your fault.  We have ceded an entire pillow to you, but you insist on sleeping on my pillow when I am not around to shoo you off.  Believe me, the fur on the pillow gives you away.  Stop it.  Just stop it.

Thanks.

She who feeds you and clips your claws (and tape rolls her pillows)

Dear Koa,

This is why I insist that you nap on the old sheet that I spread over the bed each morning.  Please don't pull it off.

Thank you,

The bedwarmer.

Dear Girls,

And this is why I feel I must keep the comforter on the bed upside down. It is cream. You are all black. Do you have any idea how hard it is to vacuum a comforter without sucking it up? Why would you? You are all under the sofa. And all the fur is out here.

Grumpily,

Mom

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #746 on: September 04, 2012, 11:24:00 AM »
Dear Harry & Bob (especially Harry),

Having cats means having to tape roll any clothing you own if you want it to be mostly hair-free when you leave the house.  I can live with that.  I have to say that your ability, Bob, to shed such that every kind of clothing shows your fur (since you are black AND white) is somewhat annoying.

But Harry, the fact that I have to tape roll my pillows is just wrong.  And it is your fault.  We have ceded an entire pillow to you, but you insist on sleeping on my pillow when I am not around to shoo you off.  Believe me, the fur on the pillow gives you away.  Stop it.  Just stop it.

Thanks.

She who feeds you and clips your claws (and tape rolls her pillows)

Dear Koa,

This is why I insist that you nap on the old sheet that I spread over the bed each morning.  Please don't pull it off.

Thank you,

The bedwarmer.

Dear Girls,

And this is why I feel I must keep the comforter on the bed upside down. It is cream. You are all black. Do you have any idea how hard it is to vacuum a comforter without sucking it up? Why would you? You are all under the sofa. And all the fur is out here.

Grumpily,

Mom

Dear Fred,

This is why there are two pillowcases on every pillow. The outer one's for you to shed all over, and the inner one's for me to sleep on. And why there is a strategically placed throw on your favorite corner of the bed, where you can see out both windows and also keep an eye on traffic in the hallway and monitor what's going on in the kitchen.

You have three cat beds. I've protected 3/4 of my bed. Could you please stop throwing up hair balls on the remaining uncovered 1/4 of the comforter?

Thank you,

The laundress.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Amara

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #747 on: September 04, 2012, 12:00:45 PM »
Dear Harry & Bob (especially Harry),

Having cats means having to tape roll any clothing you own if you want it to be mostly hair-free when you leave the house.  I can live with that.  I have to say that your ability, Bob, to shed such that every kind of clothing shows your fur (since you are black AND white) is somewhat annoying.

But Harry, the fact that I have to tape roll my pillows is just wrong.  And it is your fault.  We have ceded an entire pillow to you, but you insist on sleeping on my pillow when I am not around to shoo you off.  Believe me, the fur on the pillow gives you away.  Stop it.  Just stop it.

Thanks.

She who feeds you and clips your claws (and tape rolls her pillows)

Dear Koa,

This is why I insist that you nap on the old sheet that I spread over the bed each morning.  Please don't pull it off.

Thank you,

The bedwarmer.

Dear Girls,

And this is why I feel I must keep the comforter on the bed upside down. It is cream. You are all black. Do you have any idea how hard it is to vacuum a comforter without sucking it up? Why would you? You are all under the sofa. And all the fur is out here.

Grumpily,

Mom

Dear Fred,

This is why there are two pillowcases on every pillow. The outer one's for you to shed all over, and the inner one's for me to sleep on. And why there is a strategically placed throw on your favorite corner of the bed, where you can see out both windows and also keep an eye on traffic in the hallway and monitor what's going on in the kitchen.

You have three cat beds. I've protected 3/4 of my bed. Could you please stop throwing up hair balls on the remaining uncovered 1/4 of the comforter?

Thank you,

The laundress.


Dear Girls,

Fred reminded me that is why I have a plain cream comforter on the bed, one I got used for $20 off CL. The really nice gold and black one I had--remember, the one that cost me almost $150--was the one you used to throw up on. Sometime when I was at work. So it had all day to marinate. I almost added to it when I got home, tried to wash it out, realized the smell would never come out, and threw it along with the perfectly good bedskirt and decorative pillow coverings and just went cheap after that.

Of course, if you ever do that to my expensive, much-treasured sofa you are ... dead meat.

Let's-be-clear-on-this Mom

Sirius

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #748 on: September 04, 2012, 12:29:49 PM »
Dear Max,

I realize you're still getting the hang of how we do things around here, and that when you came Mr. Sirius was off work for the summer so we went to bed at the same time.  However, now he's gone back to work and has to get up very early in the morning, whereas I don't have to get up and work until much later.  Therefore, if I don't go to bed at the same time he does, it's okay.  It's not license for you to sit outside the office door and fuss at me.  And yes, I know you don't like coming into the office because Daisy and Minnie hang out here, but either you make up your mind to join us in the office or lay on the bed like you have been; sitting outside the office door and meowing at me gets old fast.

Your bed warmer

(I wanted him to be quiet so he wouldn't wake Mr. Sirius up, but fortunately Mr. Sirius can sleep through an explosion.)

RebeccainGA

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #749 on: September 05, 2012, 11:32:12 AM »
Dear cats of the world,

I know my grandmother is a soft touch. There's probably a sign on every corner of her yard that cats can read that says so. But, for the love of Pete, can you please limit yourself to ONE batch of foundling kittens a year in her yard? She's getting up there in years, and the stress of deworming, defleaing, feeding, fixing, and rehoming two batches this year has knocked her on her fanny. Skip the year next year, maybe?

Sincerely, the granddaughter ready to plant catnip plants to put in the neighbors yards