S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[Outdoor Girl]

Dear Sassy:

Yes, I know the house is open concept.  Yes, I know it is cathedral ceiling at the front of the house, with a railing on the second floor, looking down over the first floor basement.  But that railing is NOT a balance beam.  You scare the carp out of me when you treat it as one.  I really hope that whole 'cats always land on their feet' thing is true.

Dear Peggy:

Just because I made a move in the vague direction of the stairs doesn't mean that I'm going down to the basement to feed you.  In fact, even if I do go down to the basement, it doesn't mean I'm going to feed you.  I think I'm going to mess with your mind and go down the stairs more, just so you get more exercise running to the food dish.  Trust me, you can use the exercise.

[greencat]

Dear Kitten:

I am reconsidering the compromise we negotiated re: you observing me from the ledge behind the sink while I wash dishes and cook, pursuant to your actions in relocating to the sink and attempting to lick the cornbread crumbs off the bottom of the pan I just baked it in.  I may have to redefine that area as part of the counter-that-you-are-not-supposed-to-be-on again.

Love,
The nanny.

Also, for those concerned about their cats falling - typically, if a cat takes a fall of 3 feet or more, they have enough time while falling to reorient their bodies to land safely on their feet, and it takes at least a 5-story fall for them to approach their terminal velocity (the maximum speed a falling body attains before air resistance counteracts additional gravitational acceleration) - and, if they're conscious, they actually act to reduce their terminal velocity!  My extra-stupid cat came away from not one but three falls off my indoor balcony railing - two of which were onto my all-glass dinner table.  After the second fall, I put the couch under that spot instead - and after the third one, I gave her to my parents who have a one-story house.  That cat and her twin brother are definitely the dumbest cats my parents and I have collectively owned.

[bluhairfreak]

Dear Cats(yes all 4 of your since I don't know the culprit)
    It's a good thing you're all cute.  One of you knocked my first and favorite doll off the wardrobe(and I have no idea how you did that) leading to a dent right above his eyebrow.    I've moved stuff around so the wardrobe no longer as room for you to jump on, but I'm still very displeased.

[StillandSilent]

Dear Lady Chesh,
That cat you like so much?  You know, your best friend that I always catch you trying to play with?  The one that lives in the dishwasher door?   Yeah, that's you.  You are flirting with your own reflection, you ding-dong.  Please stop, because people are laughing at you, and talking about you.
Mommy
PS Ditto for that cat in the toilet.

[Outdoor Girl]

Dear Peggy:

I hope I'm forgiven for shoving you away last night.  But you see, I'd just dropped a sewing needle and I didn't want you stepping on it, or worse trying to eat it, before I found it.  I hope the lovings I gave you after I got the button sewn on my pants made up for it.

My most humble apologies,
The giver of food.

[Midnight Kitty]

Dear Cats(yes all 4 of your since I don't know the culprit)
    It's a good thing you're all cute.  One of you knocked my first and favorite doll off the wardrobe(and I have no idea how you did that) leading to a dent right above his eyebrow.    I've moved stuff around so the wardrobe no longer as room for you to jump on, but I'm still very displeased.

Midnight used to love to lay on our dresser.  Then DH made the top of the dresser into a sort of memorial to his father, putting all our family pictures on the dresser top and the wall behind it.  He thought he could tell Midnight not to jump on top of the dresser.  That didn't work.  Midnight still jumped up, but it was hard to get comfortable with all the framed pictures in her way, so she would lay down, then kick anything that interfered with her stretching her legs.  The first frame to bite the dust was a crystal frame with our wedding picture.  It wasn't the last frame to be broken when Midnight kicked it off the dresser.

Midnight died December 2, 2011.  We had her cremated.  The little box with her ashes is on the dresser in her favorite place.  I told DH to put her ashes there because she always wanted to rest there and she can't kick any more pictures off the dresser, so she can stay there forever.

[LadyJaneinMD]

Midnight used to love to lay on our dresser.  Then DH made the top of the dresser into a sort of memorial to his father, putting all our family pictures on the dresser top and the wall behind it.  He thought he could tell Midnight not to jump on top of the dresser.  That didn't work.  Midnight still jumped up, but it was hard to get comfortable with all the framed pictures in her way, so she would lay down, then kick anything that interfered with her stretching her legs.  The first frame to bite the dust was a crystal frame with our wedding picture.  It wasn't the last frame to be broken when Midnight kicked it off the dresser.

Midnight died December 2, 2011.  We had her cremated.  The little box with her ashes is on the dresser in her favorite place.  I told DH to put her ashes there because she always wanted to rest there and she can't kick any more pictures off the dresser, so she can stay there forever.

One of my friends picked up a stray cat a long time ago, and the cat was FIV positive, but she lived a few years with them before she finally died.   They had her cremated and brought her home because 'she's never going to be homeless again!'.

And now there's something in my eye.  Anyone got a tissue? 

[Snooks]

Dear Boy Cat

I know it was confusing to see me outside of the house but did you really have to keep shouting at me as I was talking to the nice man who'd come to collect the car?  And honestly, walking over both the cars (DH's and the replacement car) was not appreciated, it made you look like a very naughty kitten and made me look like a bad owner.  While we're on the subject, why were you shouting?  It certainly wasn't because you wanted me to open the door because you refused to come in when I went back inside.

Yours in confusion

The Doorwoman

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Bug,

There's no food in there.



Love,
The Big Pink Thing

[Firecat]

Dear Gabrielle:

You're such a good kitty to have caught the mouse, and we're very proud of you. But was it really necessary to spit out most of the mouse on the living room floor? Right before your daddy and I were going to eat pulled pork for dinner? It's a good thing for you that a) we both have strong stomachs and b) you're cute.

Go ahead and continue to catch mice, but we'd much rather you just left them on the kitchen floor for us to find.

Love,

The Warm Lap and Provider of Food

[finecabernet]

Midnight used to love to lay on our dresser.  Then DH made the top of the dresser into a sort of memorial to his father, putting all our family pictures on the dresser top and the wall behind it.  He thought he could tell Midnight not to jump on top of the dresser.  That didn't work.  Midnight still jumped up, but it was hard to get comfortable with all the framed pictures in her way, so she would lay down, then kick anything that interfered with her stretching her legs.  The first frame to bite the dust was a crystal frame with our wedding picture.  It wasn't the last frame to be broken when Midnight kicked it off the dresser.

Midnight died December 2, 2011.  We had her cremated.  The little box with her ashes is on the dresser in her favorite place.  I told DH to put her ashes there because she always wanted to rest there and she can't kick any more pictures off the dresser, so she can stay there forever.

One of my friends picked up a stray cat a long time ago, and the cat was FIV positive, but she lived a few years with them before she finally died.   They had her cremated and brought her home because 'she's never going to be homeless again!'.

And now there's something in my eye.  Anyone got a tissue?

A total aww for this. I leave my cat Ally's ashes on the window sill in the bedroom because that was her favorite spot.

[Girlie]

Dear Max,

Not one person has ever come toward you swinging an axe, ready to chop off your head and place it in wall-mounted collection of other murdered Maine Coons. Please stop looking at everyone as though that's what you expect them to do.

Love,
Me.

[snowfire]

Midnight used to love to lay on our dresser.  Then DH made the top of the dresser into a sort of memorial to his father, putting all our family pictures on the dresser top and the wall behind it.  He thought he could tell Midnight not to jump on top of the dresser.  That didn't work.  Midnight still jumped up, but it was hard to get comfortable with all the framed pictures in her way, so she would lay down, then kick anything that interfered with her stretching her legs.  The first frame to bite the dust was a crystal frame with our wedding picture.  It wasn't the last frame to be broken when Midnight kicked it off the dresser.

Midnight died December 2, 2011.  We had her cremated.  The little box with her ashes is on the dresser in her favorite place.  I told DH to put her ashes there because she always wanted to rest there and she can't kick any more pictures off the dresser, so she can stay there forever.

One of my friends picked up a stray cat a long time ago, and the cat was FIV positive, but she lived a few years with them before she finally died.   They had her cremated and brought her home because 'she's never going to be homeless again!'.

And now there's something in my eye.  Anyone got a tissue?

That's sweet.  I feel the same about my kitties.  When we adopt each other, it is forever.  I have Tasha and Deanna's ashes on the bookshelf in my office because they both loved to help me when I was on the computer.  In fact, Deanna pouted for months when I got a new printer.  The old one had a top that was perfectly cat shaped, and warm.  The new one, didn't...

Dear Xena,

You have known me for over four years and I have never once tried to eat you.  Why do you dive under the bed every time I walk in the door?  You are so incredibly sweet and loving, but such a scaredy cat. 

Love,
Me

[snowfire]

Dear Tyra,

What is it with you and my harp??? I was just tuning it and you not only wanted to sing along, you were digging your claws into my leg.  I promise you that the strings are not made of catgut!!!

Love,
Mom

[Outdoor Girl]

Dear Bug,

There's no food in there.



Love,
The Big Pink Thing

It took a couple of looks before I found her!