Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 205037 times)

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finecabernet

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #795 on: October 19, 2012, 10:10:52 AM »
Dear Miranda,

I know you are still suffering from some kitty PTSD from your days as a street cat, but it is not necessary to follow me into the kitchen every time I walk in there and beg me for food. Especially after you've just eaten. And while your food dishes are full. Don't worry, you'll never go hungry again. It is also not necessary to taste test every single thing I eat. I prepare everything so I know each snack is safe.

Also, I love when you sleep with me at night, but please stop dive bombing on my chest at full force. You are no longer a kitten, and having your 8-pound cat running and jumping while your human is trying to read is distressing. And while we're at it, stop trying to knock the computer out of my hands. That thing is expensive!

Love, your human

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #796 on: October 25, 2012, 05:26:22 PM »
Dear Stephen,

I know you like butter. I know you love adore and worship buttercream. I know when I bake you meow at my feet for it. I know I should not have turned my back for a moment, even when I'd finished.

But how did you manage to fit your head in that bowl?

Detecting the remains before it went into the wash was a nice trick, since I could have sworn there wasn't a cat in the room a second ago. Licking it until it shone was disturbing. And no, this is not now the "Stephen bowl of buttercream", so stop begging for a refill.

Please don't be sick.

Your loving chef.

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #797 on: October 25, 2012, 07:59:28 PM »
Dear Oscar

I am very proud of you for fighting the monster cockroach last night, for over an hour, at 2am until I figured out what in heck you were doing and disposed of the problem.  Sorry to disappoint but the bug man is coming on Monday.

Love
Mum 

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #798 on: November 03, 2012, 11:37:33 PM »
Dear Tribble, Princess, Moose, and Mama,

Please stop plotting to kill me.  I haven't been home much lately, but I promise I still love you and you don't need to push stuff off the high shelves onto my head.

Love,
Your slightly paranoid provider of food and petting.

Delia DeLyons

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #799 on: November 13, 2012, 08:46:31 PM »
Dearest Lucy~

I love when you curl up under my arm and look up at me.. Extending your little paw to pat my chin so sweetly. It makes me wonder if you will be angry with me if I bring the kitty boy I saw at the shelter (and applied for) home this week... It has been just us for a while now... I wonder if you remember when you had another kitty boy roommate and friend..

I promise extra scritches every step of the way if/when you are a star feline citizen/welcoming committee memeber!

Your friend ~ Delia
« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 08:48:22 PM by Delia DeLyons »
Once in a while you get your delight, in the strangest of faces if you look at it right...

DistantStar

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #800 on: November 14, 2012, 11:13:45 AM »
Dear Sapphire,

First...please, please, please don't have the big C.  I will know probably for sure next week, but please please please don't.  The growth on your neck is going to go on Friday and I want that to be the end of this.  Please.

And if you are going to run under the bed when I am trying to pick you up to put you in your carrier, do yourself a favor and go under the middle of the bed to make it actually difficult to catch you.  If you lurk at the foot where you are right there when I yank up the blankets and don't even move when I kneel and grab the scuff of your neck, it's your own silly fault.  :)

(I know that's kind of serious for this thread, but the bed bit cracked me the heck up.)

rashea

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #801 on: November 14, 2012, 11:25:52 AM »
Dear Psy,

The door did too have to go on the house, it's getting cold. I'll put a cat door in soon. Until then, it should take you less time to go through the door than the 17+ year old dog who can barely walk. Hurry your little butt up.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

Vermont

JennJenn68

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #802 on: November 14, 2012, 01:44:13 PM »
Dear Buzz:

Please do not... um... pass gas directly into my face.  Please.  What did I do to deserve that? :o

Dear Deke:

They are not "bed mice".  They are my feet.  And it HURTS when you sink your teeth and claws in them--and it's even worse at 3 a.m..  No.  Just no.

Dear Mehitabel:

Can't you keep those two in line?  You're supposed to be top cat, for heaven's sake!  And it's MY bed.  You need to stop swearing at me when I have to change position because you've decided to park your humungous backside right between my legs.  Stop it now!

Love and rainbows,
She Who Needs To Get More Sleep

JennJenn68

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #803 on: December 22, 2012, 11:51:05 AM »
Dear Buzz Brain-Dead and Deke Dum-Dum:

It's an advent calendar, and I'm getting real tired of rehanging the teensy weensy ornaments back up when the two of you decide to knock the whole flippin' thing over.  Just stop.  There's a whole basket of toys in easy reach.  Why must you attack the advent calendar?  What heinous crime did it commit?  And no, you can't have the Smarties!

Dear Mehitabel:

Get out of my pajama drawer!  There's white hair all over my dark PJs and dark hair on my light ones.  You're the only one who is multicoloured enough to be able to pull off that particular operation, although how the heck you manage to get into that drawer in the first place is beyond me.  You already have a very comfy bed.  Why must you disarrange my drawers?

Love (perhaps)
She Who Is Not Amused

mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #804 on: December 22, 2012, 02:33:55 PM »
Dear Max,

I'm so glad I met you and was able to bring you home, but let's get something clear.  You weigh 130lbs and you are still growing.  You really are not a lap dog.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #805 on: December 23, 2012, 02:04:59 AM »
Dearest Princess,

I bought a dog bed.  For the dog.  It's adorable if you share it with him, but please, don't kick him out of it.  Again.

Love,

Your long-suffering servant




Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #806 on: December 23, 2012, 07:21:08 AM »
Dear Figaro,

I love you very much, but your tendency to run around like a wild creature in the middle of the night is dangerous for both of us.  Please stop.

And while you're at it, pocket tissue packs are not toys.  Please leave them alone.

Love,

She Who Buys You Fancy Feast

Amava

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #807 on: December 23, 2012, 08:54:00 AM »
Dear Figaro,

I love you very much, but your tendency to run around like a wild creature in the middle of the night is dangerous for both of us.  Please stop.

And while you're at it, pocket tissue packs are not toys.  Please leave them alone.

Love,

She Who Buys You Fancy Feast

Dear Figaro,

Your Fancy Feast Buyer has a point. Pocket tissue packs don't make very good toys: for some really good tissue entertainment, I would rather recommend those big boxes of them.  When you pull the tissue out, the next appears. And then the next, and the next, and the next. It is like magic, and so much fun!
If you don't have these around the house, you should make your Fancy Feast Buyer invest in a few of them as a Christmas present for you.
If the tissues are white, you can even use them to turn the house into a Winter Wonderland!

Have a great Christmas!

Love,

Helena the Labradoozy


misha412

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #808 on: December 23, 2012, 09:37:15 AM »
Dear furry hissy monsters (aka Renji and Rukia),

Do not land on my head when you two are playing. My food is my food, not yours. Stop getting all the attention from mom and dad. I was here first.

Not sure I love you,

Dagan, the top doggie

mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #809 on: December 23, 2012, 09:48:39 AM »
Dear Max,

I'm so thrilled to discover that you like fried egg sandwiches for breakfast as much as I do!

Love,
Your new short order cook.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)