Dear Harley,
I love you. You are my favorite child, don't tell the human that. However, shouldn't you cover up your business in the litter box? Have you lost your natural instincts? I know Daddy has tried to teach you to cover it up, and you forget after a day.
Also, why do you sit in the middle of the bed and wipe your eyes so mommy gets hit in the eye with kitty eye snot? It grosses me out.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Mischief,
I get that you are scared of everything, but why do you lay in the bookshelf on top of the books and magazines? They are getting squashed under your significant weight.
Fondly,
Mommy
Dear Aragorn (our budgie),
I know you like to freak Daddy out by clucking at your water dish. Why are you using the blind cord to hammer against your water dish? While clucking? Also, why do you keep feeding your water dish? It is not going to grow.
Fondly,
Mommy