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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 80807 times)

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mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #855 on: January 08, 2013, 02:17:25 PM »
Dear Tigger, Scout and Mo,

You are working cats.  Your job is to keep pesky critters out of the house.  We appreciate the good job you do when it comes to mice, rats and small iguanas, however, you need to do a better job with reptiles.  I never, ever want to have to trap a snake again.

Love,

Your provider of ear scritches and food.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #856 on: January 08, 2013, 02:56:02 PM »
Dear Peggy:

I know you got overfed while I was away over Christmas.  I promise I will feed you twice a day, like always.  You don't need to scarf all the food down the second it hits the bowl.

Dear Sassy:

If you can't be nice, leave Peggy alone!  I'm tired of picking up large tufts of fur.

The one with the food and the broom
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Love is better than anger
Hope is better than fear
Optimism is better than despair
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Shoo

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #857 on: January 08, 2013, 03:03:31 PM »
Dear Sissy Cat (aka Buddy),

You are a masterful pianist, but we may need to get you a booster chair.


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Tea Drinker

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #858 on: January 08, 2013, 04:48:02 PM »
Dear Julian,

I know you want me to make tea so you can have a drop of cream, but don't try to stand on the stove to watch the kettle boil.
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Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

Silversurfer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #859 on: January 08, 2013, 06:55:38 PM »
Dear Yoshi,
Please dont ever use the back of my head as a springboard when you jump of the bathroom windowsill while i am cleaning my teeth again. Ever.

Grumpy owner.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #860 on: January 10, 2013, 11:25:57 AM »
Dear Sassy:

Thank you so much for not scratching at my door and yowling last night.  I'm sure putting the spray bottle of water in front of the door last night had nothing to do with it.

Signed,
The Intimidator, who got her first decent night's sleep in weeks.
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Love is better than anger
Hope is better than fear
Optimism is better than despair
Jack Layton
Ontario

Cutenoob

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #861 on: January 10, 2013, 08:25:04 PM »
Dear Ivory:
I'm so glad that you snuggle with me. Your fur is so so soft and clean. But you are taking my best pillow. Cease and desist.
I promise I'll give you this pillow when I get my new one.

Love,
Pillow Supply Unit
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snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #862 on: January 10, 2013, 09:28:09 PM »
Dear Smudge,

You had already been out this morning, you knew it was cold and snowing.  I wanted you to stay inside and warm while I was gone for a couple of hours.  Why did you persist in darting out and refusing to be caught?  It's not my fault that you were freezing your little kitty butt off when I got home. Giving me the "poor little frozen kitty" look doesn't work too well.  It was YOUR idea.  (Note, she was sitting on the covered porch on the entry mat when I came home, so she was out of the weather.)

Love,
Mom
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greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #863 on: January 11, 2013, 12:41:04 AM »
Dear kitties,

I can generally only pick up and carry one of you at once, due to squirming/fighting.  Ergo, if you'd like some dinner, please move yourselves into the house under your own power when I open the door for you.  Kitties who remain outside run the risk of having their share of the food eaten by the dog.

Love,
The food supplier.
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PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #864 on: January 11, 2013, 04:41:42 AM »
Dear Gretchen,

There is only one Brush of Love.  You have to share it.  Please do not sit all 17 pounds on your sisters head when she is getting her share of love.  You have to wait your turn like everyone else.

Love,

Your Staff
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Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #865 on: January 11, 2013, 05:21:13 AM »
Quote from: snowfire on January 10, 2013, 09:28:09 PM
Dear Smudge,

You had already been out this morning, you knew it was cold and snowing.  I wanted you to stay inside and warm while I was gone for a couple of hours.  Why did you persist in darting out and refusing to be caught?  It's not my fault that you were freezing your little kitty butt off when I got home. Giving me the "poor little frozen kitty" look doesn't work too well.  It was YOUR idea.  (Note, she was sitting on the covered porch on the entry mat when I came home, so she was out of the weather.)

Love,
Mom

Mine does that, but it tends to be rain rather than snow.  I usually get met at the corner of the house (heading for the back door) with the angry "Where do you think you've been?" yowl.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #866 on: January 11, 2013, 06:18:42 PM »
Dear Sassy:

When you feel the need to cough up a hairball, could you please do ALL your yaking in the same general vicinity?  Cleaning up 3 separate piles was not fun.  And maybe this should go in the gross out thread, too, because I almost added to the worst pile.   :P

Also, please respect the spray bottle of doom and stay away from my bedroom door at night.  It worked the first night; why didn't it work last night?

Signed,
The nauseated and sleep deprived one
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Love is better than anger
Hope is better than fear
Optimism is better than despair
Jack Layton
Ontario

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #867 on: January 12, 2013, 04:36:13 PM »
Dear Willow

It is January 12th.  The Christmas tree has been up since December 8th. It is time for it to come down.  You will just have to go back sleeping under my bed. Chewing us out because we took it down will not have any effect whatsoever.

Love,
the staff
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ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #868 on: January 15, 2013, 07:33:04 PM »
Dear Mischief,

I am sorry you are suddenly not feeling well. I didn't realize that whistling sound was coming from you and I apologize for laughing.

The human
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Bilbo: Can you promise that I will come back?
Gandalf: No, and if you do, you will not be the same."
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geekette

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #869 on: January 16, 2013, 04:26:00 AM »
Dear Kitty #3,
I know you dislike going to the vet, but that's no excuse for using her shoulder as springboard to get to the windowsill. Its giving Kitty #2 ideas, and he's big enough that he can probably push out the flyscreen after you've pried the window open.

Love,
Human #1
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