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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 386165 times)

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Tea Drinker

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #855 on: January 08, 2013, 03:48:02 PM »
Dear Julian,

I know you want me to make tea so you can have a drop of cream, but don't try to stand on the stove to watch the kettle boil.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

Silversurfer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #856 on: January 08, 2013, 05:55:38 PM »
Dear Yoshi,
Please dont ever use the back of my head as a springboard when you jump of the bathroom windowsill while i am cleaning my teeth again. Ever.

Grumpy owner.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #857 on: January 10, 2013, 10:25:57 AM »
Dear Sassy:

Thank you so much for not scratching at my door and yowling last night.  I'm sure putting the spray bottle of water in front of the door last night had nothing to do with it.

Signed,
The Intimidator, who got her first decent night's sleep in weeks.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Cutenoob

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #858 on: January 10, 2013, 07:25:04 PM »
Dear Ivory:
I'm so glad that you snuggle with me. Your fur is so so soft and clean. But you are taking my best pillow. Cease and desist.
I promise I'll give you this pillow when I get my new one.

Love,
Pillow Supply Unit

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #859 on: January 10, 2013, 08:28:09 PM »
Dear Smudge,

You had already been out this morning, you knew it was cold and snowing.  I wanted you to stay inside and warm while I was gone for a couple of hours.  Why did you persist in darting out and refusing to be caught?  It's not my fault that you were freezing your little kitty butt off when I got home. Giving me the "poor little frozen kitty" look doesn't work too well.  It was YOUR idea.  (Note, she was sitting on the covered porch on the entry mat when I came home, so she was out of the weather.)

Love,
Mom

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #860 on: January 10, 2013, 11:41:04 PM »
Dear kitties,

I can generally only pick up and carry one of you at once, due to squirming/fighting.  Ergo, if you'd like some dinner, please move yourselves into the house under your own power when I open the door for you.  Kitties who remain outside run the risk of having their share of the food eaten by the dog.

Love,
The food supplier.

PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #861 on: January 11, 2013, 03:41:42 AM »
Dear Gretchen,

There is only one Brush of Love.  You have to share it.  Please do not sit all 17 pounds on your sisters head when she is getting her share of love.  You have to wait your turn like everyone else.

Love,

Your Staff
Maryland

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #862 on: January 11, 2013, 04:21:13 AM »
Dear Smudge,

You had already been out this morning, you knew it was cold and snowing.  I wanted you to stay inside and warm while I was gone for a couple of hours.  Why did you persist in darting out and refusing to be caught?  It's not my fault that you were freezing your little kitty butt off when I got home. Giving me the "poor little frozen kitty" look doesn't work too well.  It was YOUR idea.  (Note, she was sitting on the covered porch on the entry mat when I came home, so she was out of the weather.)

Love,
Mom

Mine does that, but it tends to be rain rather than snow.  I usually get met at the corner of the house (heading for the back door) with the angry "Where do you think you've been?" yowl.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #863 on: January 11, 2013, 05:18:42 PM »
Dear Sassy:

When you feel the need to cough up a hairball, could you please do ALL your yaking in the same general vicinity?  Cleaning up 3 separate piles was not fun.  And maybe this should go in the gross out thread, too, because I almost added to the worst pile.   :P

Also, please respect the spray bottle of doom and stay away from my bedroom door at night.  It worked the first night; why didn't it work last night?

Signed,
The nauseated and sleep deprived one
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #864 on: January 12, 2013, 03:36:13 PM »
Dear Willow

It is January 12th.  The Christmas tree has been up since December 8th. It is time for it to come down.  You will just have to go back sleeping under my bed. Chewing us out because we took it down will not have any effect whatsoever.

Love,
the staff
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #865 on: January 15, 2013, 06:33:04 PM »
Dear Mischief,

I am sorry you are suddenly not feeling well. I didn't realize that whistling sound was coming from you and I apologize for laughing.

The human
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

geekette

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #866 on: January 16, 2013, 03:26:00 AM »
Dear Kitty #3,
I know you dislike going to the vet, but that's no excuse for using her shoulder as springboard to get to the windowsill. Its giving Kitty #2 ideas, and he's big enough that he can probably push out the flyscreen after you've pried the window open.

Love,
Human #1

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #867 on: January 17, 2013, 01:12:13 AM »
Dear Moose,
I promise I didn't die last week.  I was just sick.  You can detach from my leg sometime soon, please.  I really cannot emphasis how much I don't need your company in and immediately after the shower, as the addition of wet cat hair to my bathing routine is counterproductive. 

Love,
Mommy.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #868 on: January 17, 2013, 02:03:07 PM »
Dear Moose,
I promise I didn't die last week.  I was just sick.  You can detach from my leg sometime soon, please.  I really cannot emphasis how much I don't need your company in and immediately after the shower, as the addition of wet cat hair to my bathing routine is counterproductive

Love,
Mommy.
Before we lost the real Midnight Kitty, she loved to come into the bathroom right after I got out of the shower.  She liked licking my wet legs (which felt weirdly wonderful), then rubbing against them.  DH said she was adding a light dusting of cat fur to make sure any cats I met throughout the day would know that I already belonged to another cat.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #869 on: January 17, 2013, 06:22:01 PM »
Dear Moose,
I promise I didn't die last week.  I was just sick.  You can detach from my leg sometime soon, please.  I really cannot emphasis how much I don't need your company in and immediately after the shower, as the addition of wet cat hair to my bathing routine is counterproductive

Love,
Mommy.
Before we lost the real Midnight Kitty, she loved to come into the bathroom right after I got out of the shower.  She liked licking my wet legs (which felt weirdly wonderful), then rubbing against them.  DH said she was adding a light dusting of cat fur to make sure any cats I met throughout the day would know that I already belonged to another cat.

I wish Moose would stick to licking me - he also nibbles a little when I'm wet.  And that whole sentence belongs in the "Things that sound dirty but aren't" thread.