S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[ladyknight1]

My Harley (all 9 pounds of him) must have Lonely Butt Syndrome ^tm. LBS causes one to lie at a 45 degree angle from one's human companion at that time. The butt in question must be within one inch of that companion.

[Midnight Kitty]

Two out of three of mine insist on sleeping on me somewhere.  The adult cat just drapes herself over me wherever she feels like it - the kitten paws and meows at me until I arrange my position to his liking.

The real Midnight Kitty let me put my head on a corner of my pillow.  She was quite generous for a Princess.  Bootsie, her sister, lay at my feet.

After the real MK passed in Dec. 2011, Bootsie stepped up to be "The Cat."  Now she sleeps on my pillow.  Bootsie will wrap herself around my head, then lay her head on top of my head and purr.  We call her my "cat hat."  It felt funny at first to be used as a cat pillow, but I am starting to to enjoying it.

[Outdoor Girl]

Dear Sassy:

You are not that big of a cat; you only weigh about 11 pounds.  How do you manage to sound like a herd of elephants is running through my house at way too early in the morning?

Signed,
The Sleep Deprived One.

[Tea Drinker]

The real Midnight Kitty let me put my head on a corner of my pillow.  She was quite generous for a Princess.  Bootsie, her sister, lay at my feet.

After the real MK passed in Dec. 2011, Bootsie stepped up to be "The Cat."  Now she sleeps on my pillow.  Bootsie will wrap herself around my head, then lay her head on top of my head and purr.  We call her my "cat hat."  It felt funny at first to be used as a cat pillow, but I am starting to to enjoying it.

Julian does that. It's fine except when he decides to wash me in the middle of the night. A purring cat may be soporific: a raspy cat tongue on my forehead is not.

[snowfire]

Julian does that. It's fine except when he decides to wash me in the middle of the night. A purring cat may be soporific: a raspy cat tongue on my forehead is not.

I'll up the ante on that one.  My "cat hat", the late lovely Tasha Kitty, liked to lick eyelids...and nostrils.  I miss her a lot. 

[Snooks]

My boy licks elbows, occasionally DH's back, but always elbows.  We don't let the cats sleep in our room because they think 3am is an appropriate time to wake us/me up with a nose in the mouth.

I'm sure I've told this before but when I lived at home I would kick the cat out before I went to bed (no idea why because he'd wake my parents before me) but when my parents were away I'd sleep with the door open just incase the cats wanted out in the night.  One morning one of the cats came into my room and started meowing for his breakfast, having already opened my eyes once I knew I had 5-10 minutes before my alarm went off and I was not getting out of bed/opening my eyes again before it went off.  The meowing continued and eventually I gave in and opened my eyes to give the cat a talking to expecting to find him sitting on the floor only to find him nose to nose with me sitting beside me on the bed (I swear he threw his voice).  I exclaimed in shock, he jumped off the bed equally shocked to have been "aarghed" at at close range, then sat down in the middle of the floor and meowed again, I admitted defeat and got up two minutes before my alarm and fed him.

That cat's brother would yowl outside the room DH slept in when he came to visit, DH would get up to let him in and the cat would dash past him and fall asleep in the middle of the single bed.  Frequently we'd get up and find DH contorted in all sorts of positions so as to not disturb the cat. 

[MonteCristo]

Dear Lyla,
My opening a book is not an invitation for you to climb up my chest to try and sit on my face.  You have always been the kitty I have to chase down just to give you a daily pet, but something about me reading a book seems to attract you.  Mommy would be thrilled to have you curl up on her lap for pets while reading, but please stay out of my face. 

Alexei,
I know you like to join in whenever I do something, but sometimes it is just ridiculous.  No, you will not be able to catch Mario, so you might as well stop trying.  Also, it is very hard to play the piano when you keep jumping on the keys.  And I certainly don't need your help while cooking...I'm perfectly capable of stirring soup without your assistance.  Go play with Sydney for a bit.

Sydney,
Ok, so you are a dog, but seriously stop stepping on me while I'm doing shavasana...it makes it really hard to relax when a 40lb lab might step on your stomach at any moment! 

Love,
Mommy, the provider of treats.

[Layla Miller]

Dear Bamf,

You spend 97% of every day ignoring us unless you either want a lap to sit on or think you're getting a treat out of it.  So why, oh why do you start wailing for attention the moment we shut the door and go to bed?  You had fifteen hours to spend time with us, and you chose not to.  Pardon me for not being sympathetic for your sudden need to see us.

Also, stop pawing at the door the moment the sun comes up.  The only thing coming out that door if it opens is the squirt bottle.  So stop already.  We'll all be happier.

Love,

The One With a Warm Lap and Opposable Thumbs

[mmswm]

Dear Mo,

I know you find it hysterical, but it's really not funny when you climb up a tree then jump on the back of the passing Mastiff.  Mastiffs don't usually like cats, but for some reason he tolerates you and your brothers, so lets not ruin this.

Love,
The person who's trying really hard not to laugh at your antics.

[geekette]

Dear Kitty#1,
Your "oh dear, I am a poor, old arthritic cat who can only climb the stairs very. very. very. slowly and need someone to pick me up and carry me" routine would be much more convincing if I did not see you leap 1.5 meters from your cat tower (after climbing said cat tower) to the top of the kitchen table - which is higher than your cat tower, I might add - last night when Geek-bro left his dinner on it.

Much love,
Human #1

[Julian]

Dear Milly, it is now one year since you left us.  One year in two days till I found you again, although by then you were beyond help, which is what I think you wanted.

You're still very much missed, baby girl.  You will always be my sweet little Princess.

your sad mum. xx

[Midnight Kitty]

(((Millie's Mom)))

We will always miss the real Midnight Kitty and Novalee, my husband's therapy horse who died 2 weeks ago.  We try to remember how blessed we were to have them in our lives.  Midnight was with us for almost 18 years; Novalee for only one.  It's always too short.

Remember the good times and don't close your heart to the possibility of another love.

[Julian]

(((Midnight Kitty)))

I'm so sorry to hear of your recent loss.

It's hard when our little furry ones (and larger furry ones) cross the rainbow bridge.  I've been blessed with the animals I've had.  Dear old Bruce, the Bestest Cat Evah, passed around 13 years ago, and I still miss him and his antics.  He was a stray that turned up one day and stayed.  Milly was another stray who was adopted after Max, a dear little black kitty, died in a tree fall.  His brother, Morty, who I still have, was stressing and grieving.  Milly helped him move on.  She fell in love with him at first sight and pursued him till he caved.  Took about 36 hours before she held him down and bathed him, and he was twice her size. 

I'm lucky enough to still have Morty and Salem, and my two gorgeous naughty dogs, Molly and Suzi.  There's always room in my heart for more critters, I'd be the mad cat lady in a flash!  In fact, I feel especially honoured by the fact that my furry babies allow me to share their my house with them!

[Lynnv]

Dear Arthur,

 I know you are the new guy around here.  So let me explain a few things:

1). We feed you a good quality food.   We do not share our food with you.  You were clearly fed from the table wherever you were before.  That will not happen here. 
2). Related to item 1.   We feed you good quality food.  Every other cat we have owned has been less stinky on this diet.  If you are currently a less stinky boy, you must have cleared entire counties when you were living on the street and when your previous people fed you people food.  And not burying things does not help.
3). Harry is endlessly patient with you.  He still misses his friend Bob.  But he gets fed up with you trying to tell him what to do and sits on you.  Seriously Big Guy, quit ticking off the really big guy. 
4). The scratching posts are not evil.  Try them.  I am glad you don't scratch the furniture-but I would be a lot more comfortable that things are going to stay that way if you would use the stuff we have bought for that purpose.
5). Every cat I have ever lived with has kind of a low moan of a meow when they are about to hack something up.  The fact that your normal meow sounds like that kind of freaks us out!
6). Other than the stinky butt and the attempts to dominate Harry (which are failing miserably), you are a very good boy and we are glad you have come to live with us (though how such a good boy ended up on the street is a mystery) even if Harry isn't quite sure yet.   

Love,
She Who Doesn't Give You People Food

PS-Artie has been with us since November.  He is a complete lovebug, and he and Harry mostly ignore each other.   Harry just gets annoyed when Artie tries to run things. 

[ladyknight1]

Dear Harley,

You are senior cat, first in charge. Daddy was very hurt that you refused to even try the cat water fountain he bought you. Instead, you yowled at our bedroom door for us to fix you a plastic cup of water. One week later, he gave in and got you a gravity feeder that is only for you. I am glad you deign to use it.

Mommy