S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat

[blue2000]

Dear Pris,

It was an adorable (and emotional) moment when you sat in the kitchen doorway and talked to me on the second day I got you. It is still semi-sort-of-adorable when you sit and tell me about your day or the state of the water dish/cuddle situations.

It is not at ALL adorable when you scream in my ear when I am sleeping. Just not. The fact that you have not had a cuddle in the whole five freakin' minutes that I've been asleep does not justify the screaming. Nor does your inability to pick a cuddle spot!

For the thirty millionth time, why can't you just sit down and be quiet like a normal cat!?!?

Your loving, sleep-deprived mama

[snowfire]

Dear Scooter,

I am very honored when you decide to have a rare cuddle with me.  I even enjoy it when you curl up on my stomach when we are in bed.  Why on earth did you decide that you had to jump up on my bladder TWICE last night sometime after o-dark-thirty.
You have never done that before and I hope you don't do it again.  Cuddles are fine, four point landings....not so much.

Though DH does thank you for not hitting the bed at Mach 7 and not landing on his scrabble tiles, which you used to hit Every Single Time.

Love,

Your Mom

[Julia Mercer]

Dear Duster,

I know you want to be a mechanic like daddy, but MUST you practice under the bed where mummy sleeps, and at 5 IN THE MORNING, I would appreciate to sleep in a little bit thank you very much!

Love,

Mummy

[atirial]

Dear Matilda,

Ok, this one is partly my fault. You do love playing with your ball in the bath, because you can slide down the sides and watch it roll in odd directions. I have recently been joining in with the odd stroke or two. So when I started running the bath this morning, it is not surprising that you thought I was bent over it for an entire different reason, and stuck your head under the tap right as I turned it on.

Your composure was impressive. I was expecting levitation and vanishing. Instead you stood very still, stared at the  puddle by your paws, and then looked up and gave me the most vocal scolding I have ever had from a cat!

Can tuna earn forgiveness?

Regards,
Mummy.

[peach2play]

Though DH does thank you for not hitting the bed at Mach 7 and not landing on his scrabble tiles, which you used to hit Every Single Time.

scrabble tiles...that's just...made of awesome and I've been giggling for the last 5 min and the cats are all now looking at me like I'm a loon.

[magicdomino]

Dear Nani,

I'm sure that mattress pad in the laundry basket was warm and cozy; that's why you curled up in the middle.  You looked so cute and comfy, big golden eyes peeking out from the shadows, that I decided to leave you there for a while, even though the mattress pad had to be washed and dried before the bed could be made. 

I played a couple of levels on a computer game.  You were still there.

I made and ate lunch.  You were still there.

Had tea and a brownie for dessert.  You were still there.

Played another level or two on the computer game.  You were still there.

Picked up the camera, that I may share your overwhelming cuteness with the world.  You popped out. 

Ah well, at least I can finish the laundry and make the bed. 


Sincerely,
The household help.

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Paddy O'Cat,

You beg for food. You beg for attention. You beg to come in.

We give you food and water. We give you attention. We let you in.

Yet you wander aimlessly from room to room, still begging.

What do you WANT?

Love,
The Magically Manifest New Occupants of House

p.s.  shut UP!

[blue2000]

Dear MMNOofH,

Attention!!!! I want attention!! It has been FIVE WHOLE SECONDS since you petted me! For cryin' out loud, this cat ain't running a freebie operation here. You gotta pay the pets to get the cool location!

Sincerely,

Paddy O'Cat

[peach2play]

Dear Paddy O'Cat,

You beg for food. You beg for attention. You beg to come in.

We give you food and water. We give you attention. We let you in.

Yet you wander aimlessly from room to room, still begging.

What do you WANT?

Love,
The Magically Manifest New Occupants of House

p.s.  shut UP!

Litter box cleaned?  That's what my little girl wants and she won't shut up about it until i go clean her box.

[Ms_Cellany]

Dear Paddy O'Cat,

You beg for food. You beg for attention. You beg to come in.

We give you food and water. We give you attention. We let you in.

Yet you wander aimlessly from room to room, still begging.

What do you WANT?

Love,
The Magically Manifest New Occupants of House

p.s.  shut UP!

Litter box cleaned?  That's what my little girl wants and she won't shut up about it until i go clean her box.

Dear Hu-man,

The Visitors haven't even given me a littler box! They seem to think that just because I'm an outdoors cat, I should use the outdoors!

Grumpily,
Paddy.

[MonteCristo]

Dear Paddy O'Cat,

You beg for food. You beg for attention. You beg to come in.

We give you food and water. We give you attention. We let you in.

Yet you wander aimlessly from room to room, still begging.

What do you WANT?

Love,
The Magically Manifest New Occupants of House

p.s.  shut UP!

Litter box cleaned?  That's what my little girl wants and she won't shut up about it until i go clean her box.

Dear Hu-man,

The Visitors haven't even given me a littler box! They seem to think that just because I'm an outdoors cat, I should use the outdoors!

Grumpily,
Paddy.

Lol, when my kitties start acting crazy like that I just give them all the attention I can...brush, comb, nail clippings, washing their faces, etc...usually they are trying to get away by the time I'm finished.   

[Snooks]

I think this calls for some corporal cuddling!

[Craftyone]

Dear Mischka,
Yes, mum knows the difference in sound between you clawing the settee and your scratching post.  I know you're smart enough to only use your post when I'm in view but don't try to plead innocence when I tell you off.  Roewing and rolling on your back doesn't get you off the hook.

Love your scritch giver

[Julian]

Dear Morty

I appreciate that you're not a good traveller, and I did expect the 40 minutes of caterwauling* on the way to the vet on Saturday.  I very much appreciate that you didn't do it so much on the way home.  And I'm incredibly grateful that you only peed in your box instead of your usual messy, smelly trick.

Please understand though - you're 13, which makes you a bit of an 'old man' in the cat world, so getting your vision, blood pressure, blood and wee tests done are perfectly acceptable - don't want you getting sick like Milly did, now do we?  Thank you for being relatively patient and cooperative for most of the visit. 

The shaved spots will grow back, I promise!  And believe it or not, I think you actually shed more hair during that visit than got shaved off.

Love
the chief head scritcher.

PS please come home for dinner!

* Isn't caterwauling the most perfectly appropriate word?   

[AnnaT]

Dear Oscar

Please stop pulling books off the bookshelf at 3 in the morning (yes - I know its you!).  Aunty Jane thinks we have a poltergeist!!

Love
The one who buys you the good stuff, only to have you turn your nose up at it...