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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 657070 times)

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AlephReish

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #990 on: April 25, 2013, 10:14:50 PM »
Dear Roxie,

You know what to do.



Love!
Dorsey and Dizzy

OSUJillyBean

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  • Posts: 210
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #991 on: April 26, 2013, 09:05:50 AM »
Dear Lucy,

I know your dinner was late last night but climbing on top of the stove and licking the pan we used to make Mexican is not acceptable.  You are very lucky the stove was off and you didn't burn your paws!  Also, proving how hungry you are by chewing on my fingers is neither cute nor funny.

Love,
MommyBean

Mal

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #992 on: April 26, 2013, 09:10:03 AM »
Dear Lucy,

I have read your mommy's letter and I have to firmly agree, as I have once taken it upon me to lick a plate that had held Chili before and I couldn't do a decent meow for two hours afterwards. Hot things are not good things - for any of the two meanings of the word.

Love,
Melle's cat.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #993 on: April 26, 2013, 09:38:57 AM »
Dear Peggy:

Thanks so much for cleaning up the kitty food I spilled on the floor last night when I transferred the new bag into my Tupperware container.  I knew I could count on you.

However, trying to eat the muffin papers I forgot to throw in the garbage?  Yeah, not so much.

I seem to be on a seefood diet these days, too, and really, it isn't good for either of us.

Love,
Your fellow rotund one
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #994 on: May 05, 2013, 07:23:19 AM »
Dear Cat

Running into the neighbour's house and hiding behind their couch twice is not the best way to introduce yourself. It's lucky they were nice about it but please, I don't want to be 'that' neighbour, don't do it again.

Snooks

guihong

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #995 on: May 05, 2013, 09:52:19 AM »
Dear Izzy:

Cranking up a meow at 5:30 on a Sunday does not endear you to Daddy or me.  This is a weekend; you do not have to wake us up today.

And Daddy is especially not amused when you hide under blankets, then yowl when he bumps you in the dark.

Love,
Provider of cans



mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #996 on: May 05, 2013, 09:59:07 AM »
Dear Mo,

Dive bombing me from the overhang over the front door when I haven't had my coffee yet is a bad idea.  Please wait until a little later in the day to try these sorts of tricks.

Thanks,
She who makes sure you get your 5am ear scritchies.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Vicki

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #997 on: May 05, 2013, 03:16:37 PM »
Dear Polycarp,

You don't like people, other than me, you run for you life when the doorbell rings - so why, why, why, did you decide to make my lunch guest (also my boss) your best friend?  He's allergic to you and you wouldn't leave him alone. 

Puzzled,

she who provides the food and water

ladyknight1

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  • Not all those who wander are lost
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #998 on: May 06, 2013, 05:21:53 PM »
Dear Harley and Mischief,

Your human brother has found a kitten and he is going to bring it home next weekend. You need to be nice during your supervised visits, or she will live in his bedroom forever. I know you two are getting up there in age, but this kitty needs a home.

Love,

Mom
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

*inviteseller

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  • I am Queen Mommy
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #999 on: May 06, 2013, 07:04:09 PM »
Dear Kitties (as a group)
Every time I walk towards the kitchen does NOT mean I am going to feed you again.  You are old enough now to know you get breakfast in the morning, dinner at dinner time.  Also trying to outrun me down the steps when I am carrying a laundry hamper is not the fun game you think it is. 
Dear Mr. B- I have had you since you were 10 days old, raising you and your litter mates.  I know you love me and appreciate this, but honestly quit sleeping you fat butt on my face!  And the plastic bag fetish?  I am not happy when woken up at 3 am because you pulled one down and got it stuck on your neck and are now racing through the house in a panic.
Miss Sophie - I love you sweetheart, I really do and I know you appreciate me rescuing you, but you are not the only cat in the house.  You cannot be up my bum 24/7 and hitting the kids when I am interacting with them is just petty.
Miss Lola-You are never getting out of kittendom, are you???  You are so pretty and sweet, but at 3 can you stop acting like a doofus kitten?  Jumping out to scare the others, chasing them up and down the steps..they don't like it!!!  And the first trip in the morning when I get up is to the potty, not your food dish so please stop trying to walk in front of me to stop me...the end result isn't pretty.
Miss Jezebel - You are a cutie and quite possibly the most annoying cat I have ever had in my life (and there have been many)..Quit screeching at the door morning, noon and night!  You were an indoor only cat when I took you in and I am not changing that!  And when you sneak out, I don't like the get kitty from under the bushes game you play !  And quit being nice to the dog one minute, slapping her the next.  She is pretty easy going but she growled at you the other day..that may have been your warning!
The feral cat and her 2- 4 week kittens I am fostering in a spare room- Yes, someone dumped you and you have been having lots of babies, but I saved your kittens from mean people, found you and got you reunited with them  tried to save the sick ones, and now you have a warm place to stay and an endless supply of good food...would it kill you to quit making those noises at me every time I walk into the room?  I know you want to kill me, but geez louise, I am being nice!  The babies like me!

Love,
Your faithful servant
*inviteseller

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1000 on: May 06, 2013, 07:07:44 PM »
Dear Sassy:

It is not necessary for you to yowl and paw at my door every morning at 6:30.  I have an alarm set for 7:00; I can get up on my own.

Cut it out!  Or cat soup may soon be on the menu...

Your sleep deprived owner staff
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

MerryCat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1001 on: May 06, 2013, 07:41:41 PM »
Dear Polycarp,

You don't like people, other than me, you run for you life when the doorbell rings - so why, why, why, did you decide to make my lunch guest (also my boss) your best friend?  He's allergic to you and you wouldn't leave him alone. 

Puzzled,

she who provides the food and water

Dear Human Servant,

Because there's something so irresistible about a human who plays hard to get. Needy humans with their high-pitched baby talk and reaching, grope-y hands are a dime a dozen. But a coolly detached person unmoved by my many and obvious charms? I MUST make him love me!

The One Who Must Be Obeyed :P

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1002 on: May 07, 2013, 12:55:40 PM »
Dear Sassy:

It is not necessary for you to yowl and paw at my door every morning at 6:30.  I have an alarm set for 7:00; I can get up on my own.

Cut it out!  Or cat soup may soon be on the menu...

Your sleep deprived owner staff

Dear Sassy

I'm sorry to hear that your owner has their alarm set for the wrong time too.  My owners also mistakenly believe that the alarm should be set for 7am, I do my best to re-educate them but it's not sticking.  I have found that reminding them they have a door handle which can let them out of the bedroom helps, I do this by jumping at the handle on my side of the door.  They often go back to bed after opening the door but at least they are awake, so I see this as my job being partially done.  I ensure they don't go back to sleep by inspecting their faces with my nose.

I hope these tips work for you.

Best wishes

LordB

Cutenoob

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1003 on: May 07, 2013, 06:02:32 PM »
Dear Ivory:
Your "trick" of standing near the door, then running to your food area does not work with me. I'm going to get my keys near the front door, and I can see exactly what you're doing. I'm not a stupid human.
Plus you being a pillow thief really aggravates me. If I bought a pillow just for you..never mind.
Can you please stop begging for food every 10 minutes and just go take a nap?

Your food unit
Cutenoob

*inviteseller

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1004 on: May 07, 2013, 08:39:46 PM »
Dear Mr. B,
When I come home and find 3 large stuffed animals face down on the floor..I know why!  You are fixed so stop trying to have your way with them.  When I hear you yowling at the top of the steps I know you are bringing down a new paramour and it is just wrong that you sometimes want me to watch!  Although I will say I was pretty impressed that you managed to get the 3 ft tall frog off the bed, down the hall and down the steps.  When you 6 yr old human sister is older and figures out just what you are doing to her stuffies, she is going to be grossed out, so stop it!  They don't want it no matter how many sweet meowers you whisper in their ears!

Dear Sophie,
I know Mr. B and Lola pick on you..they can be such jerks.  But is it necessary to scream like you are caught in a lawn mower if they walk past your hiding spot???  They weren't paying any attention to you, but now they are feeling the need to mess with you and I have to break it up and everyone gets kitty time outs.   Just be quiet and they won't bother you.

Your ever faithful feed dish filler
*inviteseller