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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 679171 times)

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Bijou

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1005 on: May 07, 2013, 08:56:13 PM »
Dear Kitty,
Thank you for loving me unconditionally.
Thank you for saving me from overeating by jumping into my dish when I'm eating at the computer.
Thank you for letting me sit with you in the bathroom while you take 15 minutes to drink out of the faucet. 
Love mama
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Bijou

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1006 on: May 07, 2013, 09:01:31 PM »
Dear Lassie,
You've been gone since I was 17, but still, whenever I see a black and white springer spaniel with little curls on top of her head I wish it were you.  I miss you, Lassie.
Love and kisses from your girl
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

JennJenn68

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1007 on: May 07, 2013, 10:42:44 PM »
Dear Buzz:

Stop.  Just stop.  Mama has decided that 3 a.m. is NOT an appropriate time to feed you, and you're just going to have to survive until six.  Using me as a human trampoline repeatedly doesn't make me more inclined to get up and feed you.  What it does do is make me more tempted to commit felicide in a rather violent manner.  Let's also discuss last night's little trick of continually yelling in my ear for a full hour, with me gritting my teeth and earnestly wishing one (or both) of us dead, until I finally gave in at five.  You can survive longer than four hours without food; you manage quite well not being fed until three in the afternoon, so I know that you're just lying your little heart out.  I hesitate to lock you in the basement with your brother and sister, mostly because I'm afraid of the mess you'll make of your father's HO scale layout if I do so, but I'm getting close to the limits of my endurance for not getting any sleep--five days and counting now, you little twirp!

Quit.  Or I'll lock you up all by yourself, and reserve a box outside the basement for your brother and sister, who do not seem to think that I ought to be feeding you at an unearthly hour.  (Or if they do, they're sensibly keeping very quiet about it!)

Exasperatedly,
She Who Knows That You Aren't Actually Starving To Death

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1008 on: May 07, 2013, 11:54:58 PM »
Dear cats, all three of you:

Yelling at me at the unpleasantly high volumes and pitches attainable by a Siamese mix, a half-grown kitten, and the living avatar of Basement Cat until I stop what I'm trying to do to pet you is highly disturbing.  Princess, your habit of climbing on my back if you can't sit in my lap is especially hampering, especially since you are apparently made of sandspurs.  I intended to catch up on my housekeeping tonight, but instead I spent it rotating between petting the three of you attention hogs.  I'm surprised I even got a load of laundry in!  The dog is sulking.

Love,

Your mother (to the boy kitties)/temple slave (for the Princess/evil kitty)

peach2play

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1009 on: May 09, 2013, 04:04:04 PM »
To my wonderful furbabies,

No, I can not turn off the big faucet in the sky so you can go outside*.  I know the sky is spitting water, and mommy can usually turn the water off, but I am unable to control the weather.  Please stop scratching at the cabinet door, sticking your head out and then running to me howling to let me know your head and paws are wet.  It should stop raining soon.  Until then, you will have to amuse yourselves with your 4 6' cat trees, 20' perches, enough cat toys to fill a decent sized toy chest, furniture positioned so you can see out of every window and food better than 33% of the world. 

Love,
The maker of Chicken

*They aren't actually allowed outside to roam.  We have a 6'x6'x10' dog run on the back porch which connects to a dog door on the back wall.  They go nuts if they can't get out to it.  There have been days I've opened the door to let them run into 3' of snow, just to get them to shut up.  It's highly entertaining except when I'm trying to work and they won't settle down and stop howling.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1010 on: May 09, 2013, 10:07:56 PM »
Dear Moose,

Stop eating the dog food.  Your cat food is arguably of much better quality due to the economic cost of buying premium food for three cats vs a giant dog.  Not that his isn't good grain-free food, but it's cheap premium and you guys get the really good stuff.  Not to mention, it puzzles the dog to find you in his food bowl.

Love,

Your quartermaster

esteban

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1011 on: May 11, 2013, 08:17:30 PM »
Dear Darth, Stormy, and Lily,

The new noisy thing is here to stay.  His name is Nibbitz and you have a lot in common, like you are all cats.  I am aware that he is very noisy, and kind of an attention hog right now, but he will grow out of it (you all did).  So you can stop growling at him anytime now.


Dear Nibbitz,

Clawing my leg is not appreciated.  I am aware that the fat cats are growling at you, but climbing my leg is not a proper response.  Mostly because I am wearing shorts.

The one who feed all of you
The artist formerly known as deadbody

amylouky

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1012 on: May 11, 2013, 11:28:01 PM »
Dear Gizmo,

Last night when I went out to unlock the gate for the bad man you zipped between my ankles and took off into the garden. After a merry fifteen minute chase (in the freezing cold) I finally cornered you in a pot plant and got you inside.

THIS MORNING, I came down and opened up the outside door so you could go sit outside in the sunshine and you took one look and went 'Uck, fresh air, don't want' and took yourself upstairs.

I know you only like outside when it's cold and dark and I'm going to have to chase you around (because we live behind the pub and Friday night is not a good time for kitties to be wandering about) but surely we can come to some kind of agreement about this?

And don't even think about whipping outside when I'm about to leave for lunch. I'm not chasing you in heels.

You have pot plants in  your neighborhood?   ???

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1013 on: May 12, 2013, 12:54:55 AM »
Dear Tribble,

Where were you the past couple of weeks?  No one responded to my signs nor did anyone put any up, and you're still wearing the collar I had on you so I doubt you were "visiting" with any humans.  I am glad you came back, but mystified about where you went. 

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1014 on: May 12, 2013, 11:10:24 AM »
Dear Gizmo,

Last night when I went out to unlock the gate for the bad man you zipped between my ankles and took off into the garden. After a merry fifteen minute chase (in the freezing cold) I finally cornered you in a pot plant and got you inside.

THIS MORNING, I came down and opened up the outside door so you could go sit outside in the sunshine and you took one look and went 'Uck, fresh air, don't want' and took yourself upstairs.

I know you only like outside when it's cold and dark and I'm going to have to chase you around (because we live behind the pub and Friday night is not a good time for kitties to be wandering about) but surely we can come to some kind of agreement about this?

And don't even think about whipping outside when I'm about to leave for lunch. I'm not chasing you in heels.

You have pot plants in  your neighborhood?   ???
In some places pot plant = house plant, because they're in pots.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

bluhairfreak

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1015 on: May 14, 2013, 11:07:43 AM »
Dear Rocky
  What happened?  You used to be such a polite little man who would sit and wait to be invited into a lap.  Now it's all "oooh open lap? MINE!" and will paw, climb and jump in without any regard to what I'm doing or working on.(or is I'm sitting in a position conducive to you large fluffy butt fitting in)

Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1016 on: May 14, 2013, 04:40:48 PM »
Dear Carmen,

Why are you suddenly hiding in the vanity in the bathroom?  The top of the cable box is the warmest spot in the apartment.

Must be the afternoon sun you're avoiding.  I don't blame you.

Love, She Who Buys You Fancy Feast.





stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1017 on: May 17, 2013, 11:44:02 PM »
Dear Rockie,

What is with you?  You LOVE attention and purr like crazy if you're on the bed or hanging out anywhere in the bathroom.  In fact, you sometimes purr violently to the point where I'm wondering if it can hurt you.  I listened to you purr to yourself for half an hour in the bathroom today after getting some pets.  But then practically anywhere else in the house, you want very little to do with us.  What's up with that?

And I can't help it that the cat makeup brush didn't smell right.  Please stop stealing mine!!!!

PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1018 on: May 23, 2013, 10:18:30 PM »
I thought this would give everyone a laugh  ;D



guihong

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1019 on: May 23, 2013, 10:55:35 PM »
 ;D With the cat speaking in a Stewie voice, naturally!