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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 794333 times)

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greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1065 on: June 24, 2013, 10:55:00 PM »
Dear BatKittens:

Your group decision last night to gnaw on my leg was unwise.  If you continue, I will be giving away four little fur hats instead of four kittens.  Seriously.  I can sleep through you playing on me, but not when at least three of you sit on my leg and scratch and chew.  I am pretty sure I was not sentenced to the Death of One Thousand Itty-Bitty Puncture Marks.  The subsequent nightmares that you had multiplied overnight and become NINE kittens were also terrifying. 

Love,
The Babysitter

Craftyone

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1066 on: July 13, 2013, 12:08:11 AM »
Dear Mischka
The pesky little humans will be gone on Monday night (we've got my 10 & 8 year old nieces staying with us, who like giving her copious amount of pats). But, until then, if you're going to hide in the curtain then make sure that you don't stick your tail out, it really gives you away. You know I tell them to leave you alone if I catch them near you but I can't protect you all the time so thank you for being good about it all. Just keep sleeping in our bedroom until they go.
Love mum

*inviteseller

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1067 on: July 13, 2013, 10:04:03 AM »
Dear Mischka,
  One swipe of the pointy things (just a swipe, not an actual hit) usually settles down the short two legged thing from giving squishy hugs.
Love
Mr. B & Sophie

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1068 on: July 13, 2013, 09:07:24 PM »
Dear Mischief,

Right now you are sleeping contentedly. In a few hours you will wake up and want to play... it will be the middle of the night and I would like to get some rest. Please sync up your schedule with mine. Thank You.

The temporary provider of housing and noms.

starofwinter

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1069 on: July 17, 2013, 08:44:09 PM »
Dear tiny feral outside,
Please be careful!  You're very small and very easily hurt.  I wish you would let me catch you and make sure you're alright.  I'm very sorry I frightened you earlier, but at least I now know all your pointy ends are working.  Ow.

*inviteseller

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1070 on: July 17, 2013, 10:02:52 PM »
Dear Phinneus (formerly mathilda  oops),
I was so glad that you took the time to stalk and get that moth at 4 this morning.  How ever would I have lived with it in my house?  And thanks for making sure I was awake to see this brave act,  sorry I came flying down the steps looking like a crazy lady..for all the noise your 4 lb self was making, I thought I was being invaded.  Of course, I am happy you saved your final acrobatic feat for me to see when you launched yourself at the moth, who made the mistake of landing on the curtain.  It was as if time stood still as I watched you go swinging on my favorite summer drapes, so Tarzan like, with the sound of it ripping straight across.  I appreciate the new look of one side being a drape, the other side, now just a valance.   The lamp is cracked, the drapes are shot, but gosh darnit, that evil moth was caught!

Sincerely,
The lady that thinks you are too crazy and I will never find you a permanent home

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1071 on: July 18, 2013, 12:19:28 AM »
[Like Button]  ;D

Venus193

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1072 on: July 19, 2013, 07:31:30 AM »
Dear Carmen and Figaro,

It's too hot to cuddle right now.  Please remember that because you get your shedding hair all over your human mum who then has to take a cold bath to get it off.

And Figaro, please don't object when Mum wipes you down with cool water on a paper towel.  It's too hot for any of us and that cools you off.  Just don't lick it off and you'll be fine.

Love,

Your unemployed mum who loves you very much





*inviteseller

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1073 on: July 19, 2013, 01:01:43 PM »
Dear Madelyne,
  I thought you were the good one!!!  I loved that lamp!  I was willing to pay big bucks just to have it!  I told my own children what horrible things would rain down on their heads if anything happened to it!  When you dove on the table and lost your footing (you are not a graceful kitten!)  I saw it tipping, and it was like a movie scene..everything went slow motion..the lamp wobbling, me yelling noooooooo and trying to get to it, then it hitting the floor, smashing into more pieces than I thought it could.  At least you didn't look proud as your brother did when he destroyed the drapes, but then you performed the encore of racing up stairs, diving on my dresser and wiping out all my Knick Knacks and picture frames.  I surrender..you 2 will have my house in a pile of rubble before I find you homes !

Signed,
The lady bubble wrapping everything

PS..It is 93 degrees, I don't have air..quit sleeping on my darn face!
« Last Edit: July 19, 2013, 02:31:26 PM by *inviteseller »

Amara

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1074 on: July 19, 2013, 02:01:57 PM »
Oooh, *inviteseller, that is bad! I am so sorry.

I recently found and bought a lovely lace tablecloth at my favorite thrift store. Never mind that it was only $10, I love it. But I didn't put it on the table for several days for exactly that reason until I remembered that none of my three have been on that table for a while. Not because they don't want to but because they have gotten older. They are now 12, 11, and 10 years old so they don't even try to jump that far anymore. Thank goodness; there are benefits to older kitties.

*inviteseller

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1075 on: July 19, 2013, 02:32:49 PM »
Yeah..no table clothes here..obviously I can't have drapes, lamps, picture frames, a good nights sleep...

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1076 on: July 19, 2013, 05:51:31 PM »
Dear Branwen the Awful,

Oh cat. Look. I love you to death, cat. Why else would I keep buying you expensive canned food to treat you in addition to the dry food that's always out? And I know you adore that food - you shove your face right in the dish and inhale it like you haven't been fed in weeks!

But while I love you dearly, I really don't love when you eat so fast that you then proceed to deposit your just-inhaled food on the floor in a disgusting heap. And I REALLY don't love when you stand over it, pawing disdainfully at the floor as if trying to cover it up, so I can't clean it up before it dries into the carpet. You only weigh twelve pounds, cat, and I weigh a hundred and two, so don't look so offended when I bodily move you away from the mess.

Get over it, cat. And please eat a little bit slower, will you?

Dear Rika the Angry Fluff,

Why in the seven bloody hells do YOU not eat canned food or treats?! I would be very happy if you would even deign to push it away with a paw and walk off! Or even sniff it! But no, you avoid it like it threatened to give you a bath! You picky little ball of angry fluff! You're just lucky you're adorable and I don't mind when you try to eat my spicy crisps...but please keep your head out of the bag next time, you little brat.

Love, that warm clumsy thing that feeds and brushes and pets you.
"Ah, yes. I forgot you've taken levels in Defeating Paperwork."


stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1077 on: July 19, 2013, 08:09:06 PM »
Dear Mouse,

What in the world did you get into last night?  Your poor paw pad is torn and bloody.  I'm sorry about the vet but it was necessary.  Nice guilt job with the crying though.   Luckily he doesn't think there is anything stuck in it and gave you a pain shot and antibiotics.  Don't give me looks when I don't let you outside for the next couple of days.  Until you stop limping or lifting your paw you are on lockdown inside.   

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1078 on: July 19, 2013, 08:47:39 PM »
Dear Sam

I realise that as a young rotty, you have lots of energy. Far more than I can burn off by taking walks every morning. However -- this does not mean you need to try and dig Australia's newest open sky mine in the backyard every morning.

So far, your deepest attempt in only a metre, and the rhumba that your tail and backside were doing as the only visible part of you out of the hole was cute. But it has to stop! If you dug up near the dead tree stump, we wouldn't mind, but you insist on digging right in the middle of the drive, and if I don't find and fill one in time, we're going to break an axle.

In short -- you aren't contracted to a mining company, and there's no ores of ANY sort in the yard. So please, enough digging already!

The shovel wielder.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1079 on: July 19, 2013, 10:49:24 PM »
Dear Princess,

My head is not for sleeping on.  For that matter, my pillow is for my head, not for you.  I'm already having respiratory issues (which are much better now after my first day on antibiotics and steroids!) and having a face full of cat does not help.

Love,

The person trying to breathe.