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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 601119 times)

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greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1140 on: August 05, 2013, 04:10:51 AM »
Dear kitties,

Food distribution for you has become a logistical nightmare.  Princess, learn to share.  Kittens, it is time for you to amp the cute up to 11 for some glamour shots so I can find your little fuzzy behinds new homes.  Also, I was wrong to blame the dog for eating all the food - not that he didn't eat some of it, but you guys have become EXPENSIVE to feed. 

Love,

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1141 on: August 05, 2013, 04:03:39 PM »
Dear Rika and Branwen,

I'm very amused at how much you guys just don't care about the new two. It's perfectly acceptable to hiss back at them when they start being peeved at you. I can't say I'm disappointed that you just tend to stand there and glare without making a sound, though.

Dear Lily and Sophie,

You two. *shakes head* Equal opportunity suck-ups, aren't you? You don't care who pets you. Aren't you supposed to be MY cats? ;) And by the way, Sophie, clawing the bed is NOT gonna fly. You have a scratching post. I don't care if it smells like Rika and Bran. Use it and I won't have to scruff you and pull you off the side of the bed.

And PLEASE stop teasing the dog! ::)

Head butts and scritches,
The Not-Furry One.
"This is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put."


*inviteseller

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1142 on: August 05, 2013, 09:20:57 PM »
Dear Phinneus & Madelyne,

     You 2 weigh a combined 5 lbs..how is it you sound like an invading army when you are racing through the house?  Do you 2 ever sleep???  The wrestling and chasing is absolutely unnecessary due to the fact you are systematically destroying my house.  If you both don't soon get some manners, I will never find your furr ever homes and I will be stuck with you .  You are sweet and adorable, but I am getting the crazy cat lady reputation (4 indoor cats, 1 reclusive basement cat I am trying to socialize, 2 indoor fosters, and 9 ferals in my colony).  Also, Miss Madelyne, you are an absolute sweetie, and we love your cuddles and kisses, but licking my forehead at an ungodly hour when I am sleeping cause me to slap my forehead and wake up, which cause you a trip out of the bedroom.  Please stop with middle of the night kisses.

Sincerely,
The woman getting strange looks at Walmart for buying 40lbs of cat food and 3 mega boxes of cat litter each week

twiggy

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1143 on: August 06, 2013, 02:04:59 AM »
Dear Ninja,

I love you, I really do. I have given up my ability to breathe in favor of having you as part of our family. Right now my eyes are so itchy I'm sorely tempted to head to the kitchen for the melon baller, just to save time. Ninja, I love you to pieces, and I promised you a forever home, so don't worry on that front. But if you could stop batting my allergy meds around and losing them, that would be great. I know that the bottle makes a fun rattling noise as you bat it under the cupboard, but honestly you have toys that make the same sound!

Love,

The one on her way to buy more allergy meds and toys offerings
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1144 on: August 06, 2013, 12:34:28 PM »
I am getting the crazy cat lady reputation
You say it like it's a bad thing. >:D

I love the name Phinneus.  When I was in junior high, I had a 2 pound albino Norwegian rat named Peter Ratit.  My friend had two female black and white rats - sisters named Phinneus and Phlower.  I "rat sat" for my friend when she went on vacation once ... just once.  Peter was kinda old and crippled.  He normally did not move very fast.  Until I let all 3 of them loose in my bedroom.  I thought all were safe because I closed the bedroom door.

Phinneus and Phlower ran under the bed.  Peter ran after them.  Seconds later, two recently impregnated rat sisters ran out from under the other side of the bed.  I think Peter stayed underneath the bed to smoke a cigarette and congratulate himself on his studly-ness, 'cuz he nailed those girls.

My friend never let me rat sit again.  In fact, she never let the girls play with Peter ever again. :-[
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1145 on: August 06, 2013, 12:38:49 PM »
Phinneus and Phlower ran under the bed.  Peter ran after them.  Seconds later, two recently impregnated rat sisters ran out from under the other side of the bed.  I think Peter stayed underneath the bed to smoke a cigarette and congratulate himself on his studly-ness, 'cuz he nailed those girls.

My cubemates are looking in my direction because I'm laughing.  Thanks for that.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1146 on: August 06, 2013, 01:00:03 PM »
Phinneus and Phlower ran under the bed.  Peter ran after them.  Seconds later, two recently impregnated rat sisters ran out from under the other side of the bed.  I think Peter stayed underneath the bed to smoke a cigarette and congratulate himself on his studly-ness, 'cuz he nailed those girls.

My cubemates are looking in my direction because I'm laughing.  Thanks for that.
You're welcome. My pleasure :) 

I think that is the only time in his life that Peter got lucky.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

*inviteseller

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1147 on: August 06, 2013, 05:49:32 PM »
The neighbors all stare as they walk by my house and I am sitting on my front porch surrounded by strays.  My friend got me the crazy cat lady play set..I resemble the lady! 

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1148 on: August 07, 2013, 02:56:19 PM »
Oh Mr B, you are not going out again, I've already let you out at least three times this evening and all bar the first time has been within five minutes of you coming in.  Stop whining and come and sit on the balcony if you want some fresh air.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1149 on: August 15, 2013, 04:22:15 AM »
Dear Stephen,

I'm sure you want to see what Mummy is doing on the computer, but you are also a yard long. When you curl up on my lap I can't reach the keyboagazxdf - and patting my hands because they aren't both stroking you doesn't help.

You've never lived down bookmarking XKCD on your dad's computer.

But the purr is lovely. Now please stop hitting me in the face with your tail, and get your claws out of my leg.

Regards
She-who-should-be-working

P.S. When did you develop such a drooling habit?
« Last Edit: August 15, 2013, 04:26:02 AM by atirial »

Cherry91

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1150 on: August 15, 2013, 06:30:50 AM »
Dear Cocoa,

Please stop trying to kill the birds. And if you must try for another robin, please don't do it at Xmas. CherryMom hasn't forgiven you for that one yet. That is not what we meant by getting into the spirit of Christmas.

If we are not letting you in or out, it is usually for good reason. Do not insist on coming in and then look at me all betrayed when the vacuum cleaner turns on. I tried to warn you.

Please stop pressing your butt against my leg. I'm sure you mean well, but it's a bit off.

I know you love the stairs, but if I am trying to go down them, you become a trip hazard. And especially don't attack my feet.

Love your sister Cherry
All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1151 on: August 15, 2013, 10:28:30 AM »
Dearest Smudge,

I really love having you snuggle and cuddle with me in the morning.  However, I would appreciate it if you would wait until the alarm starts to light up.  I NEED that extra half hour/hour of sleep.

Love,
Your sleep deprived Mom.

twiggy

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1152 on: August 15, 2013, 01:11:43 PM »
Dear Ninja,

I warned you that the puppies were going to get bigger. Now that Cookie is twice your size, he doesn't have to put up with your antics anymore. Don't come crying to me when you jump on his back, he flips you over, pins you and his brother and sister all gather around to lick you into submission. Oh, and the puppies have been watching you from day 1. Yes, they're good at pouncing, you taught them everything they know. No, I don't feel bad for you. Yes, I got you another cat tree aka Fortress of Solitude.

Love,

The Ref
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Firecat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1153 on: August 15, 2013, 01:35:20 PM »
Dear Stephen,

I'm sure you want to see what Mummy is doing on the computer, but you are also a yard long. When you curl up on my lap I can't reach the keyboagazxdf - and patting my hands because they aren't both stroking you doesn't help.

You've never lived down bookmarking XKCD on your dad's computer.

But the purr is lovely. Now please stop hitting me in the face with your tail, and get your claws out of my leg.

Regards
She-who-should-be-working

P.S. When did you develop such a drooling habit?

Dear Stephen,

Clearly, you're doing this wrong. You have to wait until the not-furry one is absorbed in work. Sit oh-so-innocently on the arm of the couch until this occurs. Then gradually ooze yourself over until you are draped across the not-furry one's chest (pro tip: brace your back feet on the front edge of the computer. This is even easier if you can get the not-furry one to buy a lap desk.)

By the time the not-furry one realizes what you're doing, you can be comfortably settled and purring, with your head resting on the not-furry one's shoulder. And as a bonus, your front paws will be in a good position to pat arms just in case you're not getting enough pets.

Your partner in computer rivalry,

Gabrielle

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1154 on: August 15, 2013, 02:19:47 PM »
And especially don't attack my feet.
Our Buddy does this.  DH says he's trying to bring down the big game.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius