You are evil. No, let me rephrase that, you are EVIL
. And as you've noticed, the forty-pound poodle is too dumb to realize just how evil you are. So will you please quit luring him to the baby gate with your sweetest inviting meows so you can then smack him upside the nose and run for it? I understand it's hilarious, and yes I do crack up every time I catch you at it, and yes you're very careful not to use your claws, and no he never learns, but taunting the dog is just rude. Quit that.
Are you just trying to make me fall over laughing these days? I swear, every time I walk into another room it's like I'm playing a game of "what's wrong with this picture?" First the bathtub, now the stovetop.* I swear, if I find you in my sink one of these days...well, I'll probably just laugh some more. And then spend a half hour cleaning cat hair out of the drain.
You only weigh six pounds. Your growl is three times as big as you are. How does your little furry body hold that much
righteous anger? And for the record, you're not fooling anyone when you calmly walk by the other cats while distractedly grumbling kitty invectives to yourself. Give it up and admit you're getting used to them.
How are YOU the normal one??
The Not-Furry One.
* The stove is not getting used lately. FAR too hot up here. It's just got a nice cool glass cooktop that apparently attracts hot cats.