My lithe and lovely Luna-balloona,
You are a beautiful, shiny, adorable kitten-pants, and we love having you in our house.
That said, Mommy would like to raise a couple issues with you:
1) The TV is not a frame for live-action kitty pictures. Your posing in front of Daddy's football games is just going to get you put upstairs for the duration of the sports season. Ditto video games and movies.
2) We do not want to squash you into cat paste, so please stop diving down the stairs beneath our feet. You are small and we are big, and that is eventually not going to end well.
3) The other two cats were here first. Please stop starting fights that you can't finish and then complaining at us when the big kitties thwap you back. That is your own darn fault.
4) Please check that the window is open before diving headfirst into it. As cute as the sight of a kitty in a neck stabilizer might be in theory, we really don't have the money to spend on treating any brain damage.