Dear fluffballs - yes, all four of you.
Yes, I am changing your food. You guys eat ridiculous amounts of food and the stuff I HAD you on is far too expensive, especially considering it doesn't even last an entire month with four little piglets in fur coats noshing on it. Get used to the new stuff. (This means you, Rika. You are far too picky for your own good. I don't care if you don't like fish. You WILL eat the new stuff.)
And whoever's horking all over the carpet, stop that. I have no idea if you're gorging yourself or just have a hairball, but I am getting really sick of cleaning up your hork. Literally. You don't want to make me be violently ill from dealing with mass amounts of cat barf, now do you?
Also, Rika? How the eHell did you manage to get the insides of your back legs so matted up?? I brush you daily! Now I'm going to have to pin you in the most awkward position ever and shave your underside! Don't you dare bite me, cat.
Love, though some days I'm not sure why,
the Not-Furry One.