Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 191278 times)

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Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1260 on: October 27, 2013, 02:32:05 PM »
Dear Lord B

I know you think you need to inspect everything in the kitchen but really getting in the oven which was full of cleaner really wasn't necessary.  I wouldn't even have known if I hadn't spotted the greasy paw prints. Ok I shouldn't have left the door off the oven but you're lucky the oven cleaner is non toxic. You didn't even have to good grace to clean it for me.

Love Snooks

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1261 on: October 27, 2013, 02:40:16 PM »
Dear Kittens:

Stop making crash noises in the bathroom.  Stop playing in the bathtub at 4AM.  Actually, I'd appreciate it if you'd generally only use the bathroom for sleeping (but please not in the sink anymore!).  I wish I could close it up all the time and just keep you out of it!

Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1262 on: October 27, 2013, 09:52:55 PM »
How To Wash A Cat
       
 
This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up. And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse.'

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely, The Dog

 
 
 

RebeccainGA

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1263 on: October 29, 2013, 09:38:49 AM »
We used to bathe Mary Alice, our gigantic long hair, by putting DP into the shower, getting the water warm, and then setting Mary Alice in the shower, under the water. She was so shocked, every time, that she just stayed put and howled. Got her clean every time, and DP (naked!) never got a scratch. Still baffled that it worked, but it did - shock and awe reaction, I think.

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1264 on: October 29, 2013, 08:24:29 PM »
Dear Lily,

Thank you for behaving and not biting me, and I'm sorry that bath was actually for nothing, as there was not a single flea on you. Now can you please stop getting my feather blanket wet? I kind of need to sleep under that.

Dear Sophie,

@$*@*$*@()(%&*(#$(@**@&$*&*(&$%&*#(.

Grumpily,
The Not-Furry One.

(Note to self: do not bathe the kitten. It is entirely impossible.)
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Figgie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1265 on: October 29, 2013, 09:17:17 PM »
Dear Mike,

It is bad enough that you steal anything that isn't nailed down and that you know how to open up childproof latches that the kids weren't able to figure out until I showed them at age 8.  But the continual flushing of the toilet must.stop.NOW!

And I am not at all happy that not only have you learned how to flush the toilet, you also know how to open up the lid so that you can stand there and watch the water go down and refill. 

Love,
                       Mike's Mom

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1266 on: October 29, 2013, 09:25:44 PM »
Dear Mike,

It is bad enough that you steal anything that isn't nailed down and that you know how to open up childproof latches that the kids weren't able to figure out until I showed them at age 8.  But the continual flushing of the toilet must.stop.NOW!

And I am not at all happy that not only have you learned how to flush the toilet, you also know how to open up the lid so that you can stand there and watch the water go down and refill. 

Love,
                       Mike's Mom


Smartest cat ever.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1267 on: October 29, 2013, 09:31:11 PM »
Dear Mike,

It is bad enough that you steal anything that isn't nailed down and that you know how to open up childproof latches that the kids weren't able to figure out until I showed them at age 8.  But the continual flushing of the toilet must.stop.NOW!

And I am not at all happy that not only have you learned how to flush the toilet, you also know how to open up the lid so that you can stand there and watch the water go down and refill. 

Love,
                       Mike's Mom

You are missing a golden opportunity here!  Teach him to sit on the toilet instead of the litter box, and since he already knows how to flush, you'll never have to change the litter box again!

Figgie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1268 on: October 29, 2013, 09:43:48 PM »
Dear Mike,

It is bad enough that you steal anything that isn't nailed down and that you know how to open up childproof latches that the kids weren't able to figure out until I showed them at age 8.  But the continual flushing of the toilet must.stop.NOW!

And I am not at all happy that not only have you learned how to flush the toilet, you also know how to open up the lid so that you can stand there and watch the water go down and refill. 

Love,
                       Mike's Mom

You are missing a golden opportunity here!  Teach him to sit on the toilet instead of the litter box, and since he already knows how to flush, you'll never have to change the litter box again!

He has a litter mate brother who, while quite sweet, is dumb as the proverbial box of rocks.  I've actually never known a cat who runs into the wall, sits down and shakes his head and then slams into it again because he can't figure out that the wall isn't going to move for him.

Mike is extremely intelligent and an exceptionally annoying cat to live with.  While he would be easy to train to use the toilet, he lives for his idiot brother using the box, because idiot brother has never learned how to cover up anything.  Mike hangs around the box basically waiting impatiently for brother Spike to finish so that Mike (the groundskeeper is what my spouse calls him) can jump in and bury everything, smoothing it over so well that I can't always tell a cat has been in there.

Mike is the reason that all of the remotes are in a drawer.  He figured out that if he (and lord, he is a patient cat), pushes buttons, eventually the tv will turn on.  Scared the holy hell out of us several times at 2 a.m. when all of sudden the tv starts blasting some infomercial. 

I have to put them in a drawer that doesn't have knobs as the little blankety blank has figured out how to hook his teeth around the knobs and pull open drawers with knobs. 

He is always watching everything we do so that he can figure out how to do it himself.  As stupid as it sounds, I shut him in the bedroom if I am going to be doing something that I don't want him to learn how to do by watching.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2013, 09:45:48 PM by Figgie »

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1269 on: October 29, 2013, 10:10:54 PM »
Dear Mike,

It is bad enough that you steal anything that isn't nailed down and that you know how to open up childproof latches that the kids weren't able to figure out until I showed them at age 8.  But the continual flushing of the toilet must.stop.NOW!

And I am not at all happy that not only have you learned how to flush the toilet, you also know how to open up the lid so that you can stand there and watch the water go down and refill. 

Love,
                       Mike's Mom
Turn the water off to the toilet, and only turn it back on when YOU need it.  If the tank doesn't fill, he can't flush it.  It takes more hand-strength than a cat has to move that valve handle.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2013, 10:12:43 PM by Elfmama »
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Figgie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1270 on: October 29, 2013, 10:27:20 PM »
Dear Mike,

It is bad enough that you steal anything that isn't nailed down and that you know how to open up childproof latches that the kids weren't able to figure out until I showed them at age 8.  But the continual flushing of the toilet must.stop.NOW!

And I am not at all happy that not only have you learned how to flush the toilet, you also know how to open up the lid so that you can stand there and watch the water go down and refill. 

Love,
                       Mike's Mom
Turn the water off to the toilet, and only turn it back on when YOU need it.  If the tank doesn't fill, he can't flush it.  It takes more hand-strength than a cat has to move that valve handle.

Right now I am just keeping the door shut.  He hasn't figured out how to turn door knobs, since they are too big for his mouth to fit around and he doesn't have paws big enough.  :) 

My spouse had to learn the hard way to shut the bathroom door tightly.  He was showering when the toilet flushed and the water turned very hot.  He looked out to see Mike standing up at the toilet watching the water in the bowl.  :)

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1271 on: October 29, 2013, 11:26:01 PM »
Dear Mike,

It is bad enough that you steal anything that isn't nailed down and that you know how to open up childproof latches that the kids weren't able to figure out until I showed them at age 8.  But the continual flushing of the toilet must.stop.NOW!

And I am not at all happy that not only have you learned how to flush the toilet, you also know how to open up the lid so that you can stand there and watch the water go down and refill. 

Love,
                       Mike's Mom
Turn the water off to the toilet, and only turn it back on when YOU need it.  If the tank doesn't fill, he can't flush it.  It takes more hand-strength than a cat has to move that valve handle.

Right now I am just keeping the door shut.  He hasn't figured out how to turn door knobs, since they are too big for his mouth to fit around and he doesn't have paws big enough.  :) 

My spouse had to learn the hard way to shut the bathroom door tightly.  He was showering when the toilet flushed and the water turned very hot.  He looked out to see Mike standing up at the toilet watching the water in the bowl.  :)

Check your door knobs - one of my smart cats once realized that on some of them, he could hook his claws into the little seam in the metal on the part that extends the knob away from the door, and therefore turn the knob.  Locking the bathroom door became mandatory after that discovery.

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1272 on: October 29, 2013, 11:50:44 PM »
Leslie Fish's cats: http://www.lesliefish.com/cats.htm

She bred a line of cats strictly for intelligence, over several decades, and she got military genius cats.   >:D
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It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
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greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1273 on: October 30, 2013, 12:08:38 AM »
Leslie Fish's cats: http://www.lesliefish.com/cats.htm

She bred a line of cats strictly for intelligence, over several decades, and she got military genius cats.   >:D

I'm going to go pet my cats, and be grateful that they're not that smart!

diesel_darlin

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1274 on: October 30, 2013, 02:26:21 AM »
Bubba, I normally adore your meows because they are usually quite rare. You almost never meow. Please tell me why you have decided to start meowing your furry little head off at 2am?