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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 794677 times)

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AlephReish

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1275 on: November 10, 2013, 05:56:37 PM »
Quote
Is Gracie short for Graceless?

Sigh. It really really should be.

HenrysMom

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1276 on: November 10, 2013, 06:30:42 PM »
(snip)
 You look very beautiful, draped around my neck, and you're lovely and warm, but you are also heavy and I don't think you do my arthritic shoulder a lot of good.
(snip)

Dear Nice Stable Lady:

I should think you'd be honored that I am willing to wrap myself around your neck.  BTW, I hear from other humans that heat is supposed to be good for arthritis. 

Signed,

Stable Cat

nuit93

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1277 on: November 10, 2013, 07:01:56 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

Yes I know your man parts are gone. And I am sorry I have to shoot pain medicine down your throat via a syringe. Please quit glaring at me.

Sincerely,

Your Dutiful Servant.

Hey Dutiful Servant,

My twootters are gone, do you really think I'm not going to glare at you?

Regards,
Ciaran

*snortchokelaughgasp* Twootters *giggle uncontrollably*

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1278 on: November 10, 2013, 07:34:56 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

Yes I know your man parts are gone. And I am sorry I have to shoot pain medicine down your throat via a syringe. Please quit glaring at me.

Sincerely,

Your Dutiful Servant.

Hey Dutiful Servant,

My twootters are gone, do you really think I'm not going to glare at you?

Regards,
Ciaran

*snortchokelaughgasp* Twootters *giggle uncontrollably*

now you have me laughing!

readingchick

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1279 on: November 10, 2013, 07:49:29 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

Yes I know your man parts are gone. And I am sorry I have to shoot pain medicine down your throat via a syringe. Please quit glaring at me.

Sincerely,

Your Dutiful Servant.

Hey Dutiful Servant,

My twootters are gone, do you really think I'm not going to glare at you?

Regards,
Ciaran

*snortchokelaughgasp* Twootters *giggle uncontrollably*

Glad I could be of service! It's a family euphemism.....my mother came up with it when watching the Fox News ticker and there was something about two otters....no space between the "two" and the "otters" = perfect euphemism for the missing manparts :)

twiggy

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1280 on: November 12, 2013, 04:14:33 PM »
Dear Ninja,

I'm sorry Baby tried to baptize you this morning. I fully support your right to choose your own religion and I would never dream of forcing our beliefs on you. I'm especially sorry that he tried to baptize you in the toilet. Again, I'm very sorry.

Love, the buyer of Heathen Kitty treats
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1281 on: November 12, 2013, 04:19:20 PM »
Dear treat dispenser,

I forgive you.  The Great Goddess Bast, however, is going to leave a deposit of Sacred Barf somewhere you least expect it. 

Love, Ninja

blue2000

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  • Two kitties - No waiting. And no sleeping either.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1282 on: November 18, 2013, 05:15:40 PM »
Dear Mikey. Dear sweet, insane Mikey.

I know you are a chubby butt. There is a lot of lead in that back end. I also know you are not the most co-ordinated kitty. And you have not improved with age.That is why I rearranged the bedroom to give you a stairstep up to the bed, so you wouldn't fall and bruise your dignity again.

I don't know why I bothered. You have played on it, sat on it, sniffed it, and generally enjoyed it - and yet when you want up on the bed, you usually stand beside it and try to jump like always. ::) This is why your sister and I laugh at you.

Your exasperated Mama.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1283 on: November 18, 2013, 10:03:52 PM »
Dear kittenbeasts:

I have finally impressed upon my hemming and hawwing friends that if they do not accept some of you half-grown kittens shortly, then all of you will be heading to the no-kill shelter.  Therefore, some of you will be interviewing for permanent homes with my responsible friends in the next month.  Please be on your least annoying behavior during the interview process so they take you!

Love,

greencat, candidate for the neighborhood crazy cat lady position.

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1284 on: November 19, 2013, 06:30:19 PM »
Scooter,

I am willing to pet you and cuddle you.  You don't have to sit right in front of the monitor to get my attention. 

Your loving human.

Tea Drinker

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1285 on: November 19, 2013, 06:51:48 PM »
Scooter,

I am willing to pet you and cuddle you.  You don't have to sit right in front of the monitor to get my attention. 

Your loving human.

Dear Snowfire,

But you sometimes wait whole minutes before stroking me otherwise!

And there are otters and birds on the monitor.

*purr*

Snowfire
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1286 on: November 19, 2013, 07:08:33 PM »
Dear Mocha,

I understand your attempts to remind me what a mess my jewelry craft table is are important. However, knocking everything off the foam pad was not cool or conducive to your human getting her stuff together for work in the morning. Work, that thing that pays for your food, toys, scratch pads and place to live.

Love,

The human
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1287 on: November 19, 2013, 07:21:48 PM »
Dear Sophie,

Will you STOP trying to lull the dog into a false sense of security? It's not working. Nuzzling up to him like he's the best thing since sliced bread only makes him that little bit more suspicious of you. Until he forgets five minutes later and lets you coax him up the stairs again, anyway...

Dear Lily,

Speaking of sliced bread, you really need to not eat any bread products, or in fact any food, inadvertently left on the stove downstairs. The parents are getting mightily sick of throwing out food with angry kitty teeth marks in it.

Dear Rika,

I'm very pleased that you've learned to play, but please, stop chasing the kitten across the room at full speed, you sound like an elephant on methamphetamines.

Dear Branwen,

Why, why, WHY can't you hork in the kitchen or bathroom where it's easy to clean up?! >:(

Sigh,
The Not-Furry One.
"Ah, yes. I forgot you've taken levels in Defeating Paperwork."


Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1288 on: November 19, 2013, 08:23:46 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

I know you love to sit in the sink while i am taking a bath. I don't mind it. But will you please stop sitting on the sink and staring at me like you want to kill me and eat my carcass?

Sincerely

Your very creeped out (and scared) mama.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1289 on: November 19, 2013, 08:25:41 PM »
Oh, and Mocha, even if I didn't know that you are biologically female, your crazy attraction to sparkly jewelry would tell me.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien