News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • December 16, 2017, 03:23:43 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 680994 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ser Lucien Liliane

  • The Unsleeping Translator
  • Member
  • Posts: 1226
    • My tumblr
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1290 on: November 19, 2013, 07:21:48 PM »
Dear Sophie,

Will you STOP trying to lull the dog into a false sense of security? It's not working. Nuzzling up to him like he's the best thing since sliced bread only makes him that little bit more suspicious of you. Until he forgets five minutes later and lets you coax him up the stairs again, anyway...

Dear Lily,

Speaking of sliced bread, you really need to not eat any bread products, or in fact any food, inadvertently left on the stove downstairs. The parents are getting mightily sick of throwing out food with angry kitty teeth marks in it.

Dear Rika,

I'm very pleased that you've learned to play, but please, stop chasing the kitten across the room at full speed, you sound like an elephant on methamphetamines.

Dear Branwen,

Why, why, WHY can't you hork in the kitchen or bathroom where it's easy to clean up?! >:(

Sigh,
The Not-Furry One.
"Ah, yes. I forgot you've taken levels in Defeating Paperwork."


Nikko-chan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3388
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1291 on: November 19, 2013, 08:23:46 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

I know you love to sit in the sink while i am taking a bath. I don't mind it. But will you please stop sitting on the sink and staring at me like you want to kill me and eat my carcass?

Sincerely

Your very creeped out (and scared) mama.

ladyknight1

  • Member
  • Posts: 11959
  • Not all those who wander are lost
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1292 on: November 19, 2013, 08:25:41 PM »
Oh, and Mocha, even if I didn't know that you are biologically female, your crazy attraction to sparkly jewelry would tell me.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Elfmama

  • Member
  • Posts: 4595
  • Derailing threads since 2001!
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1293 on: November 19, 2013, 09:14:05 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

I know you love to sit in the sink while i am taking a bath. I don't mind it. But will you please stop sitting on the sink and staring at me like you want to kill me and eat my carcass?

Sincerely

Your very creeped out (and scared) mama.
Dear Mama,

I am staring at you because I cannot believe my eyes.  You are totally immersing yourself in that evil liquid, WATER!  What on earth is the matter with you?!  I KNOW that you have a perfectly good tongue, because I hear you make mouth noises with it!  Bathe with it, the way Bast intended!

Love, Ciaran
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

snowfire

  • Member
  • Posts: 2267
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1294 on: November 19, 2013, 10:55:54 PM »
Scooter,

I am willing to pet you and cuddle you.  You don't have to sit right in front of the monitor to get my attention. 

Your loving human.
But you sometimes wait whole minutes before stroking me otherwise!

And there are otters and birds on the monitor.

Actually, there were three kitten cams and EHell in 4 different windows.  ;D  At least she doesn't lie on my hands like my 16 pound tomcat, or insist in being held like a baby like one of the others. 

Cats.....what are you going to do????  ;D

greencat

  • Member
  • Posts: 3899
  • Trap...Neuter...What was that third thing again?
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1295 on: November 19, 2013, 11:49:48 PM »
Baby-mama Kitty,

Your "It's 6AM!  Time to pet the cat!" routine is not appreciated.  Sleep time lasts until the alarm noise happens.

Love,

The babysitter.

guihong

  • Member
  • Posts: 7008
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1296 on: November 20, 2013, 12:36:40 AM »
Baby-mama Kitty,

Your "It's 6AM!  Time to pet the cat!" routine is not appreciated.  Sleep time lasts until the alarm noise happens.

Love,

The babysitter.

Dear Baby-Mama:

You are being a squish, allowing the hoomins to sleep until 6AM.  5:30 or better yet, 5AM, is "pet the cat" time!  You have to really get your back into a meow, and sing the song of our people like you mean it!  If that fails, resort to the morning breath in the face.  You'll get the hang of catdom.

Sincerely,
Izzy and Gracie



esteban

  • Member
  • Posts: 784
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1297 on: November 20, 2013, 09:28:31 AM »
Nippet,

The otherside of the door is not a magical wonderland full of tuna cans and catnip.  Not the door to the hallway, not the door to the bathroom, not the door to the bedrooms, and certainly not the door to outside.  Stop lurking by any closed door and trying to shoot through it when opened.

Especially the door to outside.  It is cold, and you are dumber than a bag of sand.  You are lucky your big brother Darth has long since cleared the neighborhood of small animals so you can remain unmolested in the yard for a hour or so until you decide that it is cold and you want to come in.

Just stop it.  Use your energy to torment, I mean play with, the other cats instead.  Stormy could use the exercise.

Love,

The fat less furry one.
The artist formerly known as deadbody

Venus193

  • Member
  • Posts: 17058
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1298 on: November 20, 2013, 12:58:50 PM »
Dear Carmen,

You look so adorable in your new bed:



Now please stop sleeping on my pillow. 

Dear Figaro,

Your new bed will be in the living room near the radiator.   Now please let me sleep peacefully (to the degree that I can).

Love,

She who gives you Fancy Feast.





Moralia

  • That's just tacky, tacky, tacky!
  • Member
  • Posts: 2062
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1299 on: November 20, 2013, 01:07:44 PM »
Dear Kali,
When you disappear for 8 days and have to be returned in the middle of the night by a kindly person who saw my flyers, do not be surprised that I don't want to let you go outside when I'm not right there to keep an eye on you.
I spent those evenings and days (with 2 major thunderstorms in that time), walking through the neighborhood in the dark, putting up flyers and visiting animal shelters on the weekends.
I do not wish to repeat the experience, so you can glare at passing dogs from the window instead of the front fence.
With All My Love,
Moralia

Amara

  • Member
  • Posts: 2134
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1300 on: November 20, 2013, 02:25:47 PM »
Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, Venus, Carmen looks *exactly* like my much beloved dearly departed feline soulmate, Persephone. White whiskers and everything! I am reeling with emotion.

Venus193

  • Member
  • Posts: 17058
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1301 on: November 20, 2013, 02:39:48 PM »
I'm sorry she is no longer with you.  I'm sure she was a kitty of great character.

Maybe Carmen is related to her because as soon as she saw that bed her expression said "Mine!  All mine!"





greencat

  • Member
  • Posts: 3899
  • Trap...Neuter...What was that third thing again?
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1302 on: November 20, 2013, 04:53:18 PM »
Dear Baby-mama kitty,

Thank you for letting me borrow Coffee Bean for cuddling purposes while you're taking a break to eat/poo/whatever.





Love,

The babysitter.

Ser Lucien Liliane

  • The Unsleeping Translator
  • Member
  • Posts: 1226
    • My tumblr
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1303 on: November 20, 2013, 05:01:41 PM »
Oh my goodness, greencat, how adorable! *has all the squees*
"Ah, yes. I forgot you've taken levels in Defeating Paperwork."


Midnight Kitty

  • The Queen of Sludge
  • Member
  • Posts: 2310
    • The Stoddard's Hale
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1304 on: November 20, 2013, 05:34:37 PM »
SQUEEEEEEE!!!!

Oh Da Cute! The Cutest Evah! 

We lovelovelove black kitties.  I had Spooky, a black half-Persian, when I met DH and he fell in love with her, and me. ;D Unfortunately, due to quarantine laws and Spooky's age, we left her with my XH when we moved to Hawaii.  Then we adopted Midnight Kitty (all black) and her sister Bootsie (a Tuxedo) and took good care of them for 18 years and 19-1/2 years, respectively.  Now we have Buddy, born feral about a year ago, and he is pure jet black.  If we didn't have him, I would be trying to steal Coffee Bean from greencat.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius