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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 657998 times)

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PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1335 on: December 05, 2013, 10:39:32 PM »
Dear Cats,

All of this hissing and fighting and nonsense has to stop.  Therefore you are ALL banished from my bed and no cuddles for the rest of the night.  Especially you Ms. Grace.  you may be a grey ninja assassin cat, but I can feel you when you jump up on my bed.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1336 on: December 06, 2013, 11:24:05 AM »
Dear Matilda,

I don't know when you discovered you could get into the paper shelf under my desk, nor what fun it is when you roll it forward by pushing your paws against the top. However those are my knees you are slamming the drawer into at such speed. Please stop. Let me remind you, if I limp I can't get you food as quickly as you would like.

Also sneaking your head out and licking my elbow as I type is disturbing. Don't do that either.

Regards,
Your battered staff member.

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1337 on: December 06, 2013, 11:53:36 AM »
Roxie,

Thank you for ensuring the garage door works properly in stopping when it senses something below it.  However, you are a tiny kitty and you are lucky it did not crush you.  Please stop trying to lock yourself in the garage!  And crying at me at night to go outside is not going to work when it is freezing outside and we might possibly even get SNOW tonight (we are at 500 feet, we don't get snow).  You would freeze in an instant.

Love,
The opener and closer of the door to go outside

Midnight Kitty

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1338 on: December 06, 2013, 02:25:59 PM »
Dear Buddy (aka Buster);

You are such a lover-boy at night, cuddling and purring your inaudible purr ... but ... could you please stop licking us like the dog.  She has a nice, soft, dry tongue.  I know you are giving nice, dry kisses, but your tongue is so rough that it feels like you are biting me, albeit gently.  Maybe you are biting me gently.  Those might be "love bites." ???  I thought we told you "no biting."  That goes for love (with us) AND war (with your doggy sister).

Fondly,
The Kitchen Slave
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

MissRose

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1339 on: December 06, 2013, 02:50:17 PM »
Dear Peggy:

These tortilla chips and salsa are mine.  They are people food.  You doing the Snoopy vulture thing over my shoulder isn't going to make me give you any.  It is just going to annoy the snot out of me and make me shove you off the sofa.

Also, which ever one of you chewed the hole in the bag and ate part of my loaf of bread?  NOT COOL.  I'm going to have to get a food locker to keep you away from my food.

The giver of kibbles and bits

That reminds me of the time my dad thought his plastic bag with jerky was safe on top of the fridge.  What he did not count on was the ingenuity of the cat to go on the cupboard, then onto the fridge, grab the bag, get down from fridge to cupboard to floor then delivering it to my sister in her room like it was a rodent! My dad learned a lesson = never put food there again!

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1340 on: December 06, 2013, 02:52:26 PM »
When I redo my kitchen, I'm going to have a little cupboard designed, just for the open bags of whatever - bread, chips, crackers.  Anything that I would normally leave out because I'm going to eat it within a few days.  These little monsters are driving me crazy.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1341 on: December 06, 2013, 04:22:16 PM »
I use my fridge as the safe-from-cats spot.

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1342 on: December 06, 2013, 04:44:05 PM »
Dear Mocha,

I promise the microsuede crackly play mat was not thirsty. I laid it out for you before leaving for my meeting. When I came back home three hours later, you had stuffed it inside the water bowl!
Your brothers need access to water, please don't do that again!

Baffled,

Your human
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1343 on: December 06, 2013, 05:09:28 PM »
I use my fridge as the safe-from-cats spot.

I find bread goes stale faster in the fridge.  I'd rather freeze it than refrigerate it.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1344 on: December 08, 2013, 04:38:23 PM »
Dear fuzzbutts,

It is below 10 F outside.  Walking to a different door does not change the temperature.  Besides, this is part of my evil plan to transition all of you to being indoor only kitties.  Go enjoy the fuzzy pet beds I just bought you or snuggle into the duvet.

Love,
Your human

(I really am trying to turn them from indoor/outdoor kitties to indoor only & I figured ratty weather when they don't even like outside would be a good time to do the transition.)

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1345 on: December 08, 2013, 05:19:32 PM »
Dear kittens,

The door is open so you can go out in the yard (and so the dog can go out when he wants, and the house can ventilate from my kitchen painting project.)  Why are all of you hanging out in the bathroom?

Love,

The human.

Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1346 on: December 08, 2013, 06:11:13 PM »
I use my fridge as the safe-from-cats spot.

I find bread goes stale faster in the fridge.  I'd rather freeze it than refrigerate it.

I keep my kitty-thievables in the microwave.  Morty and Salem actually are pretty good, but Morty used to be a shocker for knicking stuff off the benches. 

Out on the patio we'd sit,
And the humidity we'd breathe,
We'd watch the lightning crack over canefields
Laugh and think, this is Australia.

Ganggajang - Sounds Of Then (This Is Australia)

blue2000

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1347 on: December 09, 2013, 07:49:54 AM »
Dear Pris,

I hate to bring this up, but it has to be said. I know you love laps and cuddles. But when I insist you sit down on my lap, instead of stomping all over me and giving me bruises, I actually mean all the way down. Lowering your butt a millimetre and then hovering there until I get mad means that I get to say "Sit down!" about fifty times before your little rear hits the lap.

This is something that badly-trained dogs are fond of doing. Yes, I said it. You are acting like a DOG. Let's just not go any further in that direction, OK?

Love,
Your exasperated lap-keeper.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1348 on: December 09, 2013, 01:16:04 PM »
Dear Luna,

Screening your calls again?

Bingle bongle dingle dangle yickity-do yickity-dah ping-pong lippy-toppy too tah.

Figgie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1349 on: December 10, 2013, 08:21:51 PM »
Dear Mike,

I just knew that I shouldn't have taken my jewelry out to sort it and put it in jewelry box instead of leaving it in the ziploc bags the way I have always done.

But you now have more of my jewelry than I have!  Please, please, please stop opening my jewelry box, removing something and then closing the lid.  I didn't discover you had been stealing until tonight when I went to get out a bracelet and found it (and more) were gone.

Now I have to go and find your latest stash.

Love,

                        Your very frustrated servant