Dear Ninja,
I love you so much, but I have no idea how one tiny kitty can take up a King sized bed. Even though Daddy slept in the guest room, I'm not going to. Dang it Ninja, that's my bed! I'm willing to share, but I am determined to sleep in my own bed. Glaring at me doesn't hurt my feelings, and if you keep pouncing on my toes, I'll put you out of the room.
Also, I know you're still upset with me for keeping you inside while your war wound healed, but biting the hand that feeds you is never a good idea. Especially since you're the one coming up to me and butting your head under my hand until I pet and scratch you. Then you turn around and nip at my fingers? Not cool Ninja, not cool.
Cordially,
The hand that feeds you