Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 182686 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7325
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1485 on: February 03, 2014, 08:15:32 AM »
Mocha,

You are adorable. Even at 9 months old. Even your snoring is adorable. And your growling at toys is as well.

But why were you stalking the cable repair man? Poor guy, you were going to attack him. You are supposed to be scared of strangers!  ???

Love, mom

misha412

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 444
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1486 on: February 03, 2014, 10:09:58 AM »
Dears Mocha,

Cable repair mens are ebil. They rub your belly and chin and calls you sweetie!!

Turned me into a pile of cat mush, purring and pitty-patting...I tell you ebil!!

Felines unite against ebil tummy-scratching, cable repair men!!

Renji
The recovering pile of cat mush

Tea Drinker

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1358
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1487 on: February 04, 2014, 01:01:22 AM »
Julian,

i know it's attached to my hand, but you really don't  want  to wash the velcro.

Love,

the provider of laps
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

atirial

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2625
  • just 'plane mad
    • Tirial & Errror blog
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1488 on: February 04, 2014, 06:17:58 AM »
Dear Stephen,

I know you like sleeping on pillows. I do not qualify as one. You weigh seven kilos, and though you may be a warm vibrating cuddly hot water bottle, you do make it difficult to get oxygen. Or move.

At 2a.m. is not the best time for me to have to struggle to free an arm to wake the husband to remove the cat from my back, head, or side. This is three nights in a row.

Or at the very least, sit head up, instead of hitting me round the head with your tail.

Regards,
Your (very tired) owner.

snowfire

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2251
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1489 on: March 07, 2014, 02:23:45 AM »
Dear kitties,

I love when you cuddle up to me at night, but would you please pick one side or the other, not between my legs. My hips are starting to beg for mercy.

Thank you,
She who would like to be able to walk in the morning.

(Got two of them there right now. They are getting moved in 3...2...1...)

Fliss

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 491
  • Australia - the land that time forgot.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1490 on: March 07, 2014, 03:02:39 AM »

Dear Sam

You are a cute snugglepup, and I love the enthusiasm you have for your rawhide bones. However, grabbing it up, prancing down the hallway to the bedroom, then tossing your head and flinging it so it skips along the floor back to the loungeroom and galloping back after it, to slide on your mat until you crash into the tv, and then do the whole thing all over again, is not cool!

For a start, you wake daddy, who doesn't handle the heat well so is trying to sleep during the day. And when he becomes a grumblebum, he tends to spread the misery around until he goes back to sleep.

So no more chewie tossing! At least not until the heat has broken.

Your provider of chewies and needer of peace and quiet.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

Nikko-chan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2690
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1491 on: March 07, 2014, 03:44:36 AM »
Dear Ciaran,

Why are you laying next to me? I mean not that I normally wouldn't be happy as a clam to have you laying next to me, but.... your tail is wagging. And all cat owners know what a wagging tail means. We also know it is nothing good. Please don't kill me.

Sincerely,

Your servant who wants to live to see another day.

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2447
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1492 on: March 07, 2014, 04:37:06 AM »
Dear Coffee Bean,

Episodes of RUN AROUND THE HOUSE LIKE YOUR TAIL IS ON FIRE ATTACKING EVERYTHING YOU SEE are supposed to last 15 minutes, tops.  Where did you get the energy to maintain that level of excitement for more than an hour?  For the love of Dog, can you at least settle down a little bit?  Mommy is trying to sleep...as are your brothers and your father.  And Princess.  And the dog.  In fact, everything that is not you is trying to sleep.

Love,
Human Mommy.

Princess,

If you feel the need to hork again, please, do so on the floor.  I'd rather step in it tomorrow morning than have to spend the night sleeping on the bed without any sheets at all, since these are the spares.

Love,
Your subject

Dear Batkitten, specifically the one wearing the collar,

Stop trying to make snuggling with Princess happen.  It's not gonna happen.

Love,
The Babysitter.

Dear cats who are not mine,

Please stay out of my house.  The Batkittens do not have the authority to invite you inside.*  You, being mostly white with gray splotches, stand out a lot against my small horde of black cats.

Not-so-much-love,
The human

*I watched them sniff the noses of the other cats while on my back porch and then lead them inside and right to the food bowls, which they happily shared with the other cats.  Weirdos.

Nikko-chan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2690
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1493 on: March 07, 2014, 06:21:51 AM »
awwww! A kitty playdate!

PastryGoddess

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4689
    • My Image Portfolio and Store
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1494 on: March 07, 2014, 06:48:14 AM »

Black Delphinium

  • The Black Flower
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7489
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1495 on: March 07, 2014, 10:25:46 AM »
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

guihong

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6518
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1496 on: March 07, 2014, 10:34:45 AM »
Batkittens: "Just do something cute, or make googly eyes.  This hooman hasn't got a chance".



misha412

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 444
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1497 on: March 07, 2014, 10:49:43 AM »
Dear Rukia,

I know you have a love hate relationship with *ball-string.

The evil string gets wrapped around your tail and makes you think the devil is trying to catch you. Tearing through the house knocking things down and getting into the computer cords, getting daddy upset, while trying to ditch the devil must have been stressful. You didn't come out from under the chair for several hours. (Of course a plastic bag on the tail has the same effect).

Two days later, you were dragging it around like you were a cheetah on the African Savannah with an antelope kill.

Now, you expect momma to make it move around all the time so you can kill it and chase it. Momma has things she has to do besides help you kill ball-string. Glaring at me all the time is not going to make it happen.

Love, the one who feeds you.

*ball-string is a cat toy that consists of a wand, with a rattle ball attached by a string.

Ms_Cellany

  • The Queen of Squee
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5748
  • Big white goggie? No. Hasn't seen him.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1498 on: March 07, 2014, 01:54:19 PM »
Dear Foot-Foot and Frieda,

You're shortimers now. You're being adopted on Sunday. Stop being all of a sudden so extra-affectionate.

Kittens, y u break my heart?

Current fosters: Boojum (F, adult);  Balrog (M); Magpie (M); Zuul (F); Nazgul (F)

PastryGoddess

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4689
    • My Image Portfolio and Store
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1499 on: March 07, 2014, 02:36:11 PM »
Dear Foot-Foot and Frieda,

You're shortimers now. You're being adopted on Sunday. Stop being all of a sudden so extra-affectionate.

Kittens, y u break my heart?



awwww