Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 206230 times)

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greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1515 on: March 11, 2014, 07:07:50 PM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.

Dear Dudley,

You need to teach your human about the Cat Gap. No blind should ever be completely closed. There must always be at least a four inch gap of clear, open window at the bottom, so that we cats can jump up on the window sill and see out. All cats must be able to see out of every window at all times--this is an important lesson that you must teach your human. It makes the best impression when you teach this loudly at 2 am. It does not matter that it is too dark to see anything outside at 2 am. Cats need access to all windows, all the time. It's a basic feline right.

But you are young. You will learn. And then you can teach the food providers.

Good luck,
Freddie the Fierce

Dear Dudley and Freddie,

Our human has given up on blinds entirely, and has started just purchasing cheap curtains so the inevitable climbing expeditions aren't too costly.

Love,

Greencat's menagerie

Fliss

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1516 on: March 11, 2014, 08:40:23 PM »
Dear Max

We love that you've become a big rottie snugglepup, instead of the growly aloof dog you were considering as a puplet.

However -- I must point out that you area large black dog, and we tend to have a house kept as dark as possible in summer so it stays cool. This means that when you stretch out on the lounge, the Humans might not realise you're there, especially if we think you're still laying in the cool of the bathroom.

One of these days, you're going to get sat on my lad, and that could be embarrassing for all concerned. We might need to fit you with a little locator light.
Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1517 on: March 12, 2014, 10:47:45 AM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.

Dear Dudley,

You need to teach your human about the Cat Gap. No blind should ever be completely closed. There must always be at least a four inch gap of clear, open window at the bottom, so that we cats can jump up on the window sill and see out. All cats must be able to see out of every window at all times--this is an important lesson that you must teach your human. It makes the best impression when you teach this loudly at 2 am. It does not matter that it is too dark to see anything outside at 2 am. Cats need access to all windows, all the time. It's a basic feline right.

But you are young. You will learn. And then you can teach the food providers.

Good luck,
Freddie the Fierce

Dear Dudley and Freddie,

Our human has given up on blinds entirely, and has started just purchasing cheap curtains so the inevitable climbing expeditions aren't too costly.

Love,

Greencat's menagerie

Oh, this is so true.  Especially the part about 2 am.  One night he woke me, climbing the curtains above my bed.  He made it all the way to the top, only to drop down with a thud on the pillow next to my head.  Even if I hadn't already been awakened by the scrambling noise as he made his way up, the thud, the insanely loud purring, the squeaks (Dudley doesn't meow, he squeaks), and the tiny kitty giggles would have done it.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1518 on: March 12, 2014, 10:58:34 AM »
Dear Dudley, I am so happy that you are no longer a scared little shelter kitty, and I love your Cattitude.  But really, do you have to pull the blinds open so you can check out the neighbors?  The blinds are starting to become discouraged.

Dear Dudley,

You need to teach your human about the Cat Gap. No blind should ever be completely closed. There must always be at least a four inch gap of clear, open window at the bottom, so that we cats can jump up on the window sill and see out. All cats must be able to see out of every window at all times--this is an important lesson that you must teach your human. It makes the best impression when you teach this loudly at 2 am. It does not matter that it is too dark to see anything outside at 2 am. Cats need access to all windows, all the time. It's a basic feline right.

But you are young. You will learn. And then you can teach the food providers.

Good luck,
Freddie the Fierce

Dear Dudley and Freddie,

Our human has given up on blinds entirely, and has started just purchasing cheap curtains so the inevitable climbing expeditions aren't too costly.

Love,

Greencat's menagerie

Oh, this is so true.  Especially the part about 2 am.  One night he woke me, climbing the curtains above my bed.  He made it all the way to the top, only to drop down with a thud on the pillow next to my head.  Even if I hadn't already been awakened by the scrambling noise as he made his way up, the thud, the insanely loud purring, the squeaks (Dudley doesn't meow, he squeaks), and the tiny kitty giggles would have done it.

Well, at least he didn't drop on your face, leaving three long, bleeding claw marks on your forehead, the night before the last possible day for your to renew your driver's license, and two days before you were going to be your best friend's MOH.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1519 on: March 12, 2014, 04:23:48 PM »
Hmm, Camlan, I think we need the full story.

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1520 on: March 12, 2014, 05:36:26 PM »
Hmm, Camlan, I think we need the full story.

Agreed. :)

*ahem*

Dear Lily,

Stop sleeping on my new sweaters. I'm aware they're soft and warm. That's why I got them. But you are SHEDDING all over them and I'd just washed them!

Dear Rika,

What the e-Hell has got into you lately? You know you are not allowed on the new computer case OR on the table. While I am pleased that you actually listen most of the time when I tell you to get down from there, I'd rather you don't get up there at all!

Dear Sophie,

I would really appreciate it if, when I clean off the bathroom windowsill so you can sit there, you would then leave my mesh bath sponge alone. Now I have to buy a new one.

Dear Branwen,

STOP HORKING IN THE DOORWAY AT 3 AM!!!!

Sigh,
The Not-Furry One.
~I'm just standing with you, in the darkness between battles~


soetkin

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1521 on: March 13, 2014, 11:03:29 AM »
Dear Dude,

You don't have to announce your presence with loud meows for about ten minutes whenever you come inside. I know you came in. I'm the one who let you in.

with love


LadyJaneinMD

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1522 on: March 13, 2014, 12:31:22 PM »
This actually happened a couple of years ago, but the memory is burned into my brain:

Dearest Rita,
You know that I love you, and I think it's *adorable* when you bring your toys into bed to play with while I'm reading at the end of the day, but PLEASE make sure they're dead first!!
Your very upset mama who was up until 2am trying to find the critter.

Note:  It wasn't a roach, but my apartment had these large beetles for a little while, and she brought one of them up to play with!!   I found the body later, but not until the whole night was lost while looking.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1523 on: March 13, 2014, 01:40:50 PM »
Dear Sassy and Peggy:

I'm so glad you like those new toys I got you!  I apologize for not realizing that catnip is like pot for cats.  And it has given you the munchies.  Although it does make my life easier when absolutely every speck of food is gone from your dishes in the morning and again at night.

Sorry, girls, I'm not giving you more food every day.  And since Peggy needs to lose a couple more pounds, anyway...

Love,
The provider of toys and food
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1524 on: March 13, 2014, 01:47:57 PM »
Dear teeny stray kitty,

I'm glad that you've identified me as a source of food and affection.  I am not so glad that you started to go into heat.  Besides the part where I simply don't need kittens, you are way too little.  I hope you are enjoying your new digs in my spare bedroom until I have time to take you to the vet.  I have also decided to name you Banshee, because you are so very loud.

Love,

The sucker

Baby Snakes

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1525 on: March 13, 2014, 02:34:32 PM »
This actually happened a couple of years ago, but the memory is burned into my brain:

Dearest Rita,
You know that I love you, and I think it's *adorable* when you bring your toys into bed to play with while I'm reading at the end of the day, but PLEASE make sure they're dead first!!
Your very upset mama who was up until 2am trying to find the critter.

Note:  It wasn't a roach, but my apartment had these large beetles for a little while, and she brought one of them up to play with!!   I found the body later, but not until the whole night was lost while looking.

Our Trixie did that to us one night - only it was a dead mouse!  She ran into the bedroom, jumped on the bed and started digging between the two pillows.  I reached down to get what I thought was a toy, and it was a still warm dead mouse.  I screamed so hard I woke up DH.  Trixie was very offended that I wouldn't give it back to her afterward.

Firecat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1526 on: March 13, 2014, 03:14:54 PM »
This actually happened a couple of years ago, but the memory is burned into my brain:

Dearest Rita,
You know that I love you, and I think it's *adorable* when you bring your toys into bed to play with while I'm reading at the end of the day, but PLEASE make sure they're dead first!!
Your very upset mama who was up until 2am trying to find the critter.

Note:  It wasn't a roach, but my apartment had these large beetles for a little while, and she brought one of them up to play with!!   I found the body later, but not until the whole night was lost while looking.

Our Trixie did that to us one night - only it was a dead mouse!  She ran into the bedroom, jumped on the bed and started digging between the two pillows.  I reached down to get what I thought was a toy, and it was a still warm dead mouse.  I screamed so hard I woke up DH.  Trixie was very offended that I wouldn't give it back to her afterward.

My mother once woke up in the middle of the night with the cat standing on her chest. Only problem was that the cat had a still-struggling mouse in her mouth. How Mom managed to deal with it calmly, I still don't know...

fabric-dragon

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1527 on: March 13, 2014, 05:21:42 PM »
Dearest Angel and Jordan,

I appreciate you teaching your new little sister how to hunt.  I admire your ingenuity at putting the mouse in the bathtub for the lesson.  However, I do not appreciate having to deal with the aftermath of Mousey Gladiator games.  Having to scrub the tub at 5:00 am so I can take my bath to get ready for work is not my idea of fun. 

Love,

Mommy

I woke up in the middle of the night to find Angel sitting in the back of the tub.  Jordan sitting on the edge.  And Grizel inside the tub chasing a mouse.  Angel and Jordan were just watching her.  If the mouse got up enough speed to climb the edge, Jordan knocked it back into the tub for Grizel to continue to chase.  All were very upset when I caught the mouse and put it outside. 

I never caught them at lessons again, but I did find the aftermath in the tub a couple more times. 

Sigh!

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1528 on: March 13, 2014, 06:21:22 PM »
Dear Exterminator Kitty,

You are clearly not actually stuck in the attic.  I appreciate you keeping it clear of rodents, but could you please not talk so much while you're up there?  It sends me into a panic to hear you complaining that much.

Love,

The human

Firecat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1529 on: March 14, 2014, 01:49:50 PM »
Dearest Angel and Jordan,

I appreciate you teaching your new little sister how to hunt.  I admire your ingenuity at putting the mouse in the bathtub for the lesson.  However, I do not appreciate having to deal with the aftermath of Mousey Gladiator games.  Having to scrub the tub at 5:00 am so I can take my bath to get ready for work is not my idea of fun. 

Love,

Mommy

I woke up in the middle of the night to find Angel sitting in the back of the tub.  Jordan sitting on the edge.  And Grizel inside the tub chasing a mouse.  Angel and Jordan were just watching her.  If the mouse got up enough speed to climb the edge, Jordan knocked it back into the tub for Grizel to continue to chase.  All were very upset when I caught the mouse and put it outside. 

I never caught them at lessons again, but I did find the aftermath in the tub a couple more times. 

Sigh!

I know it was no fun to find the aftermath, but this still made me laugh!