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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 602499 times)

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soetkin

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1515 on: March 13, 2014, 10:03:29 AM »
Dear Dude,

You don't have to announce your presence with loud meows for about ten minutes whenever you come inside. I know you came in. I'm the one who let you in.

with love


Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1516 on: March 13, 2014, 12:40:50 PM »
Dear Sassy and Peggy:

I'm so glad you like those new toys I got you!  I apologize for not realizing that catnip is like pot for cats.  And it has given you the munchies.  Although it does make my life easier when absolutely every speck of food is gone from your dishes in the morning and again at night.

Sorry, girls, I'm not giving you more food every day.  And since Peggy needs to lose a couple more pounds, anyway...

Love,
The provider of toys and food
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1517 on: March 13, 2014, 12:47:57 PM »
Dear teeny stray kitty,

I'm glad that you've identified me as a source of food and affection.  I am not so glad that you started to go into heat.  Besides the part where I simply don't need kittens, you are way too little.  I hope you are enjoying your new digs in my spare bedroom until I have time to take you to the vet.  I have also decided to name you Banshee, because you are so very loud.

Love,

The sucker

Baby Snakes

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1518 on: March 13, 2014, 01:34:32 PM »
This actually happened a couple of years ago, but the memory is burned into my brain:

Dearest Rita,
You know that I love you, and I think it's *adorable* when you bring your toys into bed to play with while I'm reading at the end of the day, but PLEASE make sure they're dead first!!
Your very upset mama who was up until 2am trying to find the critter.

Note:  It wasn't a roach, but my apartment had these large beetles for a little while, and she brought one of them up to play with!!   I found the body later, but not until the whole night was lost while looking.

Our Trixie did that to us one night - only it was a dead mouse!  She ran into the bedroom, jumped on the bed and started digging between the two pillows.  I reached down to get what I thought was a toy, and it was a still warm dead mouse.  I screamed so hard I woke up DH.  Trixie was very offended that I wouldn't give it back to her afterward.

Firecat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1519 on: March 13, 2014, 02:14:54 PM »
This actually happened a couple of years ago, but the memory is burned into my brain:

Dearest Rita,
You know that I love you, and I think it's *adorable* when you bring your toys into bed to play with while I'm reading at the end of the day, but PLEASE make sure they're dead first!!
Your very upset mama who was up until 2am trying to find the critter.

Note:  It wasn't a roach, but my apartment had these large beetles for a little while, and she brought one of them up to play with!!   I found the body later, but not until the whole night was lost while looking.

Our Trixie did that to us one night - only it was a dead mouse!  She ran into the bedroom, jumped on the bed and started digging between the two pillows.  I reached down to get what I thought was a toy, and it was a still warm dead mouse.  I screamed so hard I woke up DH.  Trixie was very offended that I wouldn't give it back to her afterward.

My mother once woke up in the middle of the night with the cat standing on her chest. Only problem was that the cat had a still-struggling mouse in her mouth. How Mom managed to deal with it calmly, I still don't know...

fabric-dragon

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1520 on: March 13, 2014, 04:21:42 PM »
Dearest Angel and Jordan,

I appreciate you teaching your new little sister how to hunt.  I admire your ingenuity at putting the mouse in the bathtub for the lesson.  However, I do not appreciate having to deal with the aftermath of Mousey Gladiator games.  Having to scrub the tub at 5:00 am so I can take my bath to get ready for work is not my idea of fun. 

Love,

Mommy

I woke up in the middle of the night to find Angel sitting in the back of the tub.  Jordan sitting on the edge.  And Grizel inside the tub chasing a mouse.  Angel and Jordan were just watching her.  If the mouse got up enough speed to climb the edge, Jordan knocked it back into the tub for Grizel to continue to chase.  All were very upset when I caught the mouse and put it outside. 

I never caught them at lessons again, but I did find the aftermath in the tub a couple more times. 

Sigh!

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1521 on: March 13, 2014, 05:21:22 PM »
Dear Exterminator Kitty,

You are clearly not actually stuck in the attic.  I appreciate you keeping it clear of rodents, but could you please not talk so much while you're up there?  It sends me into a panic to hear you complaining that much.

Love,

The human

Firecat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1522 on: March 14, 2014, 12:49:50 PM »
Dearest Angel and Jordan,

I appreciate you teaching your new little sister how to hunt.  I admire your ingenuity at putting the mouse in the bathtub for the lesson.  However, I do not appreciate having to deal with the aftermath of Mousey Gladiator games.  Having to scrub the tub at 5:00 am so I can take my bath to get ready for work is not my idea of fun. 

Love,

Mommy

I woke up in the middle of the night to find Angel sitting in the back of the tub.  Jordan sitting on the edge.  And Grizel inside the tub chasing a mouse.  Angel and Jordan were just watching her.  If the mouse got up enough speed to climb the edge, Jordan knocked it back into the tub for Grizel to continue to chase.  All were very upset when I caught the mouse and put it outside. 

I never caught them at lessons again, but I did find the aftermath in the tub a couple more times. 

Sigh!

I know it was no fun to find the aftermath, but this still made me laugh!

camlan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1523 on: March 14, 2014, 01:04:47 PM »
Hmm, Camlan, I think we need the full story.

It's pretty boring.

My bedroom had an odd, high window right over my bed. My cat, Mo, used to like to use the bed as a springboard to leap to the window to look out. One night, I heard her paws scrabbling to get a hold on the window sill. The next thing I knew, she fell on my face. She was so scared she ran away.

And I had three long claw marks, from her back claws, on my forehead. About 4 inches long, right in the center. And they were bleeding.

I had taken the next day off work because it was my birthday. I was going to go get my new driver's license first thing, then help my friend the bride run some last minute errands the rest of the day.

There was no way to cover the cuts with makeup, so I had what my best friend called my "axe murderer" license picture for the next 4 years.

The poor bride was quite startled when I picked her up to run errands. I'm not normally a big fan of people changing their appearance for weddings, but as the MOH, I was going to be in a lot of pictures in just two days. I explained what had happened, and then casually said, "You know, I was thinking of getting my hair cut tomorrow. Something with bangs. What do you think?"

We both burst out giggling madly. I did get my hair cut and the wedding pictures looked fine. (Even without the wedding, I might have gotten the hair cut anyway, because every single person who saw me that day was compelled to ask me what on earth had happened. The way the cuts looked, I looked as if I'd stared in a real life horror movie.)
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1524 on: March 14, 2014, 01:14:30 PM »
The poor bride was quite startled when I picked her up to run errands. I'm not normally a big fan of people changing their appearance for weddings, but as the MOH, I was going to be in a lot of pictures in just two days. I explained what had happened, and then casually said, "You know, I was thinking of getting my hair cut tomorrow. Something with bangs. What do you think?"

That's hilarious.  I'm sure she was relieved you brought it up so she didn't have to!
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1525 on: March 14, 2014, 03:35:16 PM »
Did they scar? I am glad you only got those, but what a time for it to happen!
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

fabric-dragon

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1526 on: March 14, 2014, 07:17:32 PM »

Sigh!
[/quote]

I know it was no fun to find the aftermath, but this still made me laugh!
[/quote]

When I'm not dealing with the direct aftermath, it makes me laugh too.  Grizel puts toys in the tub all the time now.   She seems to think that's where they belong or where she should play with them.

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1527 on: March 14, 2014, 11:49:26 PM »
I guess I should be glad that the only bathtub playing cat I have had just used little rubber balls. 

He liked having his own personal handball court.  I didn't mind that, it was kind of fun to watch.  I didn't appreciate hearing whack, thud, whack , thud....at O-dark-thirty.  Really freaked out the babysitter the first time she heard it, too.  >:D

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1528 on: March 15, 2014, 08:16:57 AM »
My little devils just played with the shower curtain...I lost a few plastic ones before I hit on buying a thick fabric one and leaving the curtain rod very loose.  Yes, I booby-trapped my shower curtain.  The kitties do not play with the shower curtain any more  >:D

Mine from this morning:

Dear Coffee Bean,

You're right, the dog shouldn't be eating the cat food.  Thank you for waking Mommy up at 4AM to let me know that I needed to yell at the dog.   :o ::)

Love,
The hoomin

Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1529 on: March 15, 2014, 08:30:04 AM »
Esteemed Madam

The reason that you have been so ravenously hungry for the last 24 hours, despite having been provided with a minimum of three extra meals, is that you spat your thyroid pill out underneath my dressing table. I would like to know when you did this, given that I habitually keep you with me for several minutes after The Intrusion of the Pill, to prevent precisely this eventuality.

Also, where is your collar? If you recall, when you arrived Chez Hippy Chick, with your late sister, we attempted to remove your collars because we were not accustomed to cats who wore them. You and your sister both objected most strongly to this, to the extent of about half a pint of blood apiece from both Mr Chick and myself. We, properly, submitted to your desire for elegant jewellery and we have provided bling style collars ever since. That one was expensive; where is it? 

Respectfully
The Hippy Chick