Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 169365 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2321
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1530 on: March 13, 2014, 06:21:22 PM »
Dear Exterminator Kitty,

You are clearly not actually stuck in the attic.  I appreciate you keeping it clear of rodents, but could you please not talk so much while you're up there?  It sends me into a panic to hear you complaining that much.

Love,

The human

Firecat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2503
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1531 on: March 14, 2014, 01:49:50 PM »
Dearest Angel and Jordan,

I appreciate you teaching your new little sister how to hunt.  I admire your ingenuity at putting the mouse in the bathtub for the lesson.  However, I do not appreciate having to deal with the aftermath of Mousey Gladiator games.  Having to scrub the tub at 5:00 am so I can take my bath to get ready for work is not my idea of fun. 

Love,

Mommy

I woke up in the middle of the night to find Angel sitting in the back of the tub.  Jordan sitting on the edge.  And Grizel inside the tub chasing a mouse.  Angel and Jordan were just watching her.  If the mouse got up enough speed to climb the edge, Jordan knocked it back into the tub for Grizel to continue to chase.  All were very upset when I caught the mouse and put it outside. 

I never caught them at lessons again, but I did find the aftermath in the tub a couple more times. 

Sigh!

I know it was no fun to find the aftermath, but this still made me laugh!

camlan

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8504
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1532 on: March 14, 2014, 02:04:47 PM »
Hmm, Camlan, I think we need the full story.

It's pretty boring.

My bedroom had an odd, high window right over my bed. My cat, Mo, used to like to use the bed as a springboard to leap to the window to look out. One night, I heard her paws scrabbling to get a hold on the window sill. The next thing I knew, she fell on my face. She was so scared she ran away.

And I had three long claw marks, from her back claws, on my forehead. About 4 inches long, right in the center. And they were bleeding.

I had taken the next day off work because it was my birthday. I was going to go get my new driver's license first thing, then help my friend the bride run some last minute errands the rest of the day.

There was no way to cover the cuts with makeup, so I had what my best friend called my "axe murderer" license picture for the next 4 years.

The poor bride was quite startled when I picked her up to run errands. I'm not normally a big fan of people changing their appearance for weddings, but as the MOH, I was going to be in a lot of pictures in just two days. I explained what had happened, and then casually said, "You know, I was thinking of getting my hair cut tomorrow. Something with bangs. What do you think?"

We both burst out giggling madly. I did get my hair cut and the wedding pictures looked fine. (Even without the wedding, I might have gotten the hair cut anyway, because every single person who saw me that day was compelled to ask me what on earth had happened. The way the cuts looked, I looked as if I'd stared in a real life horror movie.)
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13511
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1533 on: March 14, 2014, 02:14:30 PM »
The poor bride was quite startled when I picked her up to run errands. I'm not normally a big fan of people changing their appearance for weddings, but as the MOH, I was going to be in a lot of pictures in just two days. I explained what had happened, and then casually said, "You know, I was thinking of getting my hair cut tomorrow. Something with bangs. What do you think?"

That's hilarious.  I'm sure she was relieved you brought it up so she didn't have to!
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6836
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1534 on: March 14, 2014, 04:35:16 PM »
Did they scar? I am glad you only got those, but what a time for it to happen!

fabric-dragon

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 10
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1535 on: March 14, 2014, 08:17:32 PM »

Sigh!
[/quote]

I know it was no fun to find the aftermath, but this still made me laugh!
[/quote]

When I'm not dealing with the direct aftermath, it makes me laugh too.  Grizel puts toys in the tub all the time now.   She seems to think that's where they belong or where she should play with them.

snowfire

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2221
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1536 on: March 15, 2014, 12:49:26 AM »
I guess I should be glad that the only bathtub playing cat I have had just used little rubber balls. 

He liked having his own personal handball court.  I didn't mind that, it was kind of fun to watch.  I didn't appreciate hearing whack, thud, whack , thud....at O-dark-thirty.  Really freaked out the babysitter the first time she heard it, too.  >:D

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2321
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1537 on: March 15, 2014, 09:16:57 AM »
My little devils just played with the shower curtain...I lost a few plastic ones before I hit on buying a thick fabric one and leaving the curtain rod very loose.  Yes, I booby-trapped my shower curtain.  The kitties do not play with the shower curtain any more  >:D

Mine from this morning:

Dear Coffee Bean,

You're right, the dog shouldn't be eating the cat food.  Thank you for waking Mommy up at 4AM to let me know that I needed to yell at the dog.   :o ::)

Love,
The hoomin

Free Range Hippy Chick

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 616
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1538 on: March 15, 2014, 09:30:04 AM »
Esteemed Madam

The reason that you have been so ravenously hungry for the last 24 hours, despite having been provided with a minimum of three extra meals, is that you spat your thyroid pill out underneath my dressing table. I would like to know when you did this, given that I habitually keep you with me for several minutes after The Intrusion of the Pill, to prevent precisely this eventuality.

Also, where is your collar? If you recall, when you arrived Chez Hippy Chick, with your late sister, we attempted to remove your collars because we were not accustomed to cats who wore them. You and your sister both objected most strongly to this, to the extent of about half a pint of blood apiece from both Mr Chick and myself. We, properly, submitted to your desire for elegant jewellery and we have provided bling style collars ever since. That one was expensive; where is it? 

Respectfully
The Hippy Chick

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6836
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1539 on: March 15, 2014, 04:29:52 PM »
Dear kittehs,

I have ordered some new kitteh items for you. Please take care of them. (A large kitteh perch for the window they love).

Love,

Human

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13511
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1540 on: March 16, 2014, 11:27:52 AM »
Dear Sassy and Peggy:

I'm surprised you didn't explode.  Your food dishes were completely bare when I got back this morning.  I was only gone for about 40 hours!  And gave you food for more than 48.

I also didn't appreciate the correspondingly large and numerous deposits in the litter boxes...
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

greencat

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2321
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1541 on: March 16, 2014, 02:01:23 PM »
Dear Princess,

Thank you for sleeping on my shoulder this morning to keep Coffee Bean from waking me up again.  I appreciate the uninterrupted sleep produced by having a guard cat.

Love,

Your appreciative servant.

katycoo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3732
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1542 on: March 16, 2014, 08:24:25 PM »
Dear Boris.

Please learn to jump back over the fence.  We only let you out the back door as we hope (likely in vain) that you will stay in the perfectly good backyard like Lolly and not insist on roaming the street.  I object to letting you in the front door only to have you walk straight to the backdoor and start wailing again.  If you want back in the backyard, please get yourself there or start considering that before you leave.

Love,

Katycoo

soetkin

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 504
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1543 on: March 18, 2014, 08:22:02 AM »
Dear Dude

Stop growling at and chasing after the little cat when you're bored. You know the dogs don't like disturbances in the pack and will bark at you to knock it off. You know if they do this at 3 am, the boss lady (i.e. me) will have a heart attack. Yes, this is (one of the several reasons) why you now sleep outside.



ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6836
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1544 on: March 18, 2014, 08:36:02 AM »
Dear Mocha,

I am so glad you wanted snuggles at 4:45 AM and then to lay on my side, belly and my other side depending on if I turned. I like the sniffs and baffing of the fingers, but no teeth from now on. Also, leave daddy alone as he was fully asleep and not awake to give you attention.

Love,

Mom

Biscuit,

Why oh why did you puke on your dad's special shirt? And the recliner? And the floor? I found it with my bare feet this morning.

Disgusted,

The female human