Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 204051 times)

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LadyJaneinMD

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1620 on: May 15, 2014, 01:30:00 PM »
Dear Rita,

WHAT is so blasted important that you have to sit by my head and STARE at me at midnight?  And meow when I make any indication of waking up?  WHY midnight? 

Your very tired slave.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1621 on: May 15, 2014, 01:33:06 PM »
Dear Boojum,

You're peaceful and undemanding at all times except for 2 a.m., when you want something, you want it bad, and you want it now!

What is it? What do you want? What?

What?

What?

Dear FSM, what?
Using a chainsaw is as close as we come to having a lightsaber in this life.

Liliane

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1622 on: May 15, 2014, 04:52:24 PM »
Dear Rika,

You know you are supposed to GET OFF THE BED when you have to hork. You know it makes me terribly unhappy when I'm nearly asleep and have to promptly bolt awake to shove you off the bed because you've begun horking. Why do you not just make it easier on the both of us and put your furry little self on the floor when you feel the urge come on??

Then again, it's been three years and you still haven't figured out that I remove you from the back of my chair because You're Not Supposed To Be Up There. ::)

Sigh,
the Not-Furry One.
~I'm just standing with you, in the darkness between battles~


Amara

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1623 on: May 15, 2014, 05:18:46 PM »
Amara,

You'll notice there is no "dear" in the opening. There is a reason for this: two gigantic regurgitated piles of eaten but undigested fish-flavored canned food this morning. ON. THE. LIVING. ROOM. RUG. My favorite beautiful mint green rug.

If my five-minute yelling spree as I was trying to clean up without vomiting didn't tell you, let me tell you now. I am angry. Very angry. I will probably be angry when I get home from work. I may even be angry when I go to bed. You may expect forgiveness at some time but it will not be today.

Mom--who wants a divorce from you right now.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1624 on: May 15, 2014, 05:39:41 PM »
Dear Amara,

Just look cute and your human will forgive whatever you threw up on. It worked for me and pillows. Even ones with heads on them.

Yours
Matilda.

blue2000

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1625 on: May 15, 2014, 07:53:05 PM »
Dear Boojum,

You're peaceful and undemanding at all times except for 2 a.m., when you want something, you want it bad, and you want it now!

What is it? What do you want? What?

What?

What?

Dear FSM, what?

Dear Mama,

I want attention. No, not playing. Not snacks. Nothing like that. I just want your constant, unwavering attention. Lately you have the audacity to be asleep when you should be paying attention to me. And you wonder why I howl?

Love, Boojum
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

AnnaT

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1626 on: May 15, 2014, 10:12:25 PM »
Dear Oscar

You are a cat.  You have no opposable thumbs.  You cannot turn pages.  You cannot read. 

Why then do you insist on pulling books out of the bookshelf at CRUD MONKEYS!-30 in the morning? 

Love
Mum

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1627 on: May 15, 2014, 10:48:25 PM »
Dear Oscar

You are a cat.  You have no opposable thumbs.  You cannot turn pages.  You cannot read. 

Why then do you insist on pulling books out of the bookshelf at CRUD MONKEYS!-30 in the morning? 

Love
Mum

Because it's hard to sleep on vertical books.

shhh its me

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1628 on: May 15, 2014, 11:01:37 PM »
Dear Oscar

You are a cat.  You have no opposable thumbs.  You cannot turn pages.  You cannot read. 

Why then do you insist on pulling books out of the bookshelf at CRUD MONKEYS!-30 in the morning? 

Love
Mum

Dear mum,

I was discovering gravity.  My theories require extensive testing.

Love
Oscar

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1629 on: May 16, 2014, 11:22:33 AM »
Dear Neko,

The Egyptian cat statue I just got is not going to eat you, I promise. 

Love, Mom

(I got a life size gold color Egyptian sitting cat statue at an auction last week.  The other cats just sniffed it and yawned.  Tyra sat next to it in the same pose...too cute!  Neko, my big 16 pound grey tuxie did the whole Halloween cat impression.  Back arched, tail poofed out, slinking up to it.  It took a long time for me to convince him it was not going to eat him.  In 7 years I have never seen him poof like that.)

mmswm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1630 on: May 16, 2014, 10:10:36 PM »
Dear Stray Kitty,

Taunting the mastiff isn't a wise idea, even if it's hysterical. Also, if you'd let me get nearer to you, I'd be happy to hook you up with a rescue group and try to find you a forever home.

Love,
The mastiff's human.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1631 on: June 07, 2014, 06:10:32 PM »
I just learnt an interesting cat fact - the dark markings on siamese cats develop in the areas of the cat that are coldest.

Mental Magpie

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1632 on: June 07, 2014, 07:11:46 PM »
I just learnt an interesting cat fact - the dark markings on siamese cats develop in the areas of the cat that are coldest.

That's pretty awesome!
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1633 on: June 07, 2014, 07:14:40 PM »
Dear Ciaran

A good cat story for a change. I just wanted to thank you for curling up to me the other night and laying with me. The only downside is now I can't sleep without a house panther to snuggle with.

Sincerely

Your loving mommy

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1634 on: June 07, 2014, 07:35:51 PM »
I just learnt an interesting cat fact - the dark markings on siamese cats develop in the areas of the cat that are coldest.

That's pretty awesome!

More awesome: the gene mutation that causes the partial albinism seen in Siamese cats is dominant, although some of the other coat pattern genes can cause some interesting effects in cats that aren't purebred Siamese...

Speaking of Siamese:
Bravery and Wall-E,
Please let Tribble eat in peace.

Lynx,
Please let me eat in peace.  Stop stealing my grapes!

Love,
The Zookeeper.